The downward spiral a journal of the journey

[Flatulo]

7. The disability system is a mess. You can't even apply if you've worked in the prior 6 months,

so you have to quit your job or go out on disability, if you're fortunate enough to have STB benefits. If you dont, prepare to starve, because including the 6 months of no work, it can take 5 years to finally get approved. Who in hell has 5 years of living expenses saved?

Spine problems are notoriously hard to get a favorable judgement on, because the interpretation of the MRI can be so subjective. One doctor might look at it and say "This person is a mess" and another might say "I see nothing wrong here".

The fact that you've had so many fusions hasn't helped, because they'll say "Well if he's had the fusion surgery, the problem should be solved", except there is overwhelming evidence that fusion surgery DOES NOT reduce pain after one year. And spine problems are almost always degenerative in nature, getting worse and worse year after year until you're ready to blow your brains out.

My advice is to get an experienced SSDI attorney. They do not charge a cent until you're awarded your benefit, and then the maximum they can charge is 15% of the back pay, capped at $6000. After a few appeals, you WILL get approved. Keep all your medical records and any MRIs you might have had done. You can always get this information. It's YOUR medical history, and you own it, so don't take any bullshit from anyone who tries to blow you off. Get the actual CDs with the imaging on them and include them with your application.

You're not alone, friend. I've ridden the same train that you have - good paying tech job, outsourced in 2009 after 30 years of service, followed by 3 years of spiraling salary. I was making $135K in 2009, by 2011 I was jumping from contract job to contract job, happy to get 1/2 of my prior wage. No insurance, degenerative disc disease causing your quality of life to go straight to hell, but having to work everyday or starve. My back pain was so bad that I was down to 2 to 3 hours of sleep per night. I'd wake up in agony, drive to work in agony, sit at a desk all day in agony, then come home in agony.

I finally got a decent job in 2011, where I had a STD plan. I worked for a year, then went out on disability. I waited my 6 months, then filed for SSDI. I was approved in the first pass, after waiting only 5 months (I was lucky to get a compassionate examiner, plus I had a good record of my degenerating spine, backed up by yearly MRIs showing the worsening condition). I had retained a top disability attorney, but he didn't need to lift a finger, so he didn't even take his commission. I did the application myself, and it was good enough to submit without any edits from him.

Because of my high earnings my entire life, I get a very decent benefit; not quite enough to live on, but I'm able to survive with a small monthly withdrawal from my savings.

Stories like yours are all too common - which I why I turn red when I see so much bullshit slung about over white/male privelege. Well, if you're over 50 and you lose your job due to outsourcing or downsizing, you are absolutely FUCKED. There is no place for you in the workforce. All your experience and hard work doesn't mean fuck-all when companies move your job to China so that the CEO can make $80m instead of only $40m, or can bring in H1b workers at 2/3 of your salary, and when you add in the physical injuries sustained by huddling at your desk for 12 hours per day for 30 years, until you just physically can't take another day of pain, tell me again about how fucking blessed we are.

So please share with us your GoFundMe link. I can spare a hundred bucks or so.

And please, please understand that you are not alone. There are good people here who WILL help out to the extent that they can.