Three weeks after the loss of my sister, my mother has died

[markpkessinger]

61. So very sorry

All losses of loved ones are hard to bear, but when they come in such close proximity, it can be, or at least seem, utterly overwhelming. I lost my mother on Dec. 13, 2000, and my father 12 days later, on Dec. 25 (Christmas Day) -- both to lung cancer. Everybody's grieving process is different, of course, but if I could offer any bit of wisdom gained through my own experience, it would be this: honor your grief, give it room to be whatever it will be, and for whatever length of time it may need (which will probably be a lot longer than you currently realize). Try not to monitor either your grieving or your healing; don't judge the quality of your grief -- or worry about what you may be feeling or NOT be feeling. -It may seem like forever in coming, but the acute grief will eventually pass, even though the loss will remain with you forever. Healing will come, too, but on a schedule all its own -- a schedule you can no more control than the weather. The void you feel at the core of your being will never be filled -- it will always be there -- but in time, like a tree that loses a major limb, you will grow around that void, and it wil, in time, cease to comprise so much of your being as it currently seems to.

My thoughts are with you and yours during this difficult time.

-Mark