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whathehell

(30,331 posts)

11. "What is it with men who only want perfect women when they are so far from perfect themselves?"

Sun Mar 8, 2015, 12:26 PM

Mar 2015

LOL! I'm a boomer & know exactly what you mean, and I've been experiencing

since I was a young, hot twenty something. Middle aged, beer bellied men would

approach me in a bar (admittedly, they were drunk) with cute 20 to 30 guys

around, and I'd think "What the hell"?! (hence, my namesake) and I just

didn't get it either. Some thought it was Male Menopause, but I think there's

a good deal of Male Entitlement at play too.

At around the same age, I recall two guys with whom I was friendly, laughingly

telling me how they'd card and turn away women who were clearly of legal

age, but not "cute" enough. In as nice a way as possible, I reminded them

that, since they were both balding and overweight, they weren't exactly prizes either.

They were taken back -- It clearly hadn't occurred to them that any such "demands"

should or could, be made of them as well.

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I am doing online dating [View all] strawberries Mar 2015 OP

There aren't males in your social circles? Cooley Hurd Mar 2015 #1

I sort of live in the middle of nowhere strawberries Mar 2015 #2

Where else could I meet a like-mind politically? Cooley Hurd Mar 2015 #5

there have been several du marriages. mopinko Mar 2015 #22

what is wrong with younger men? Skittles Mar 2015 #121

You too? liberalhistorian Mar 2015 #37

It's the best place to meet like-minded people! Cooley Hurd Mar 2015 #46

I'm tempted to post an "I'm single and looking"OP BlancheSplanchnik Mar 2015 #184

I know for a fact of another DU hookup Aerows Mar 2015 #162

Love your response!!! /nt RiverLover Mar 2015 #3

Do you know what you call a man who wants a perfect partner? FSogol Mar 2015 #4

And bitter. n/t 1StrongBlackMan Mar 2015 #151

There is no "perfect" anyone. SMC22307 Mar 2015 #6

I did block him after I sent him the email strawberries Mar 2015 #9

Well, good luck. There are success stories, but also horror stories. SMC22307 Mar 2015 #17

Meetup.com CrispyQ Mar 2015 #27

Sierra Club in your area? marlakay Mar 2015 #110

But when a man's required dating range is younger than he is, that's obnoxious. n/t pnwmom Mar 2015 #49

No it's not. woolldog Mar 2015 #65

Okay, a fat older man wants to date only thin younger women. pnwmom Mar 2015 #66

I don't. woolldog Mar 2015 #67

Except he's probably closer to 80 and is fat. Why is that reasonable? pnwmom Mar 2015 #69

How do you know how old he is? woolldog Mar 2015 #70

Because I read the OP. pnwmom Mar 2015 #76

Obviously said in spite woolldog Mar 2015 #88

As it doesn't validate your presumptions, I suppose you wouldn't... LanternWaste Mar 2015 #146

Big is "in" now. woolldog Mar 2015 #160

The problem is that there are too many men who are 2's and 3's that are looking smirkymonkey Mar 2015 #190

No it isn't. I'm female and was open to +/- 7 years' age difference. SMC22307 Mar 2015 #71

But he will ONLY date younger women. That's not comparable. nt pnwmom Mar 2015 #73

That's his preference, just as there are women who wouldn't date older. SMC22307 Mar 2015 #80

I think most of these people are nuts. pnwmom Mar 2015 #99

THAT I agree with. SMC22307 Mar 2015 #103

If someone had given me a check-off list of all the things I theoretically wanted pnwmom Mar 2015 #105

OK Cupid did the math to prove men are obnoxious daredtowork Mar 2015 #83

I agree with you. dawg Mar 2015 #97

NSA fun???? Omaha Steve Mar 2015 #50

I think it means no strings attached. lovemydog Mar 2015 #61

NO strings attached Omaha Steve Mar 2015 #74

Yes, Edward Snowden and pole-dancing ballerina. SMC22307 Mar 2015 #72

My daughter met her SO on match.com. Been together 6 years now riderinthestorm Mar 2015 #7

If you want to meet prospective partners you need to work at it. I wouldn't touch online dating.. BlueJazz Mar 2015 #8

LOL nt strawberries Mar 2015 #10

Jury results pintobean Mar 2015 #24

That is, without a doubt, John Poet Mar 2015 #30

Thank you John for pointing that out. There's 2 people on this forum that hate my guts. BlueJazz Mar 2015 #35

You might be a pig mythology Mar 2015 #155

+1 Pooka Fey Mar 2015 #171

Speak for yourself. woolldog Mar 2015 #159

But I just did. John Poet Mar 2015 #164

Not finding your lame woolldog Mar 2015 #165

Speak for Your Self Sparhawk60 Mar 2015 #174

Speak for yourself Inkfreak Mar 2015 #176

wow not cool. men are pigs stands? elehhhhna Mar 2015 #75

Yeah, I was #7 pintobean Mar 2015 #77

"3 little words"...Men are pigs. Comes from "Kathy" Cartoon. BlueJazz Mar 2015 #26

That's not being very nice to pigs. bluedigger Mar 2015 #58

Of course, I meant Men who don't belong to DU. BlueJazz Mar 2015 #87

Well, of course! bluedigger Mar 2015 #106

What is wrong with being honest? Drahthaardogs Mar 2015 #41

My feelings are> Even if he was being honest, it's hard to tell who you'll fall in... BlueJazz Mar 2015 #45

And when it became time to select a wife Drahthaardogs Mar 2015 #48

"Is that insulting to all non Italian-american women" Not at all. Somebody wanting that type of... BlueJazz Mar 2015 #116

Family member sought out spouse online in a group of his own No Vested Interest Mar 2015 #182

The. He deserved the honest response treestar Mar 2015 #57

No, he did not deserve the "honest response". Drahthaardogs Mar 2015 #93

Yes, he did seek out the OP. Re-read it nt riderinthestorm Mar 2015 #95

You are right. I did not read it that he sent her an email first. Drahthaardogs Mar 2015 #98

You valued honesty; he put himself out there treestar Mar 2015 #123

Agreed Sherman A1 Mar 2015 #96

Saying that enables them to be treestar Mar 2015 #55

It's good to know that I am not the only person that thinks online dating is repellent smirkymonkey Mar 2015 #191

I love and understand what you wrote but I find it hilarious also. BlueJazz Mar 2015 #196

"What is it with men who only want perfect women when they are so far from perfect themselves?" whathehell Mar 2015 #11

my kind of Gal strawberries Mar 2015 #15

Wow, thanks.. whathehell Mar 2015 #36

hi strawberries Mar 2015 #38

Ha! whathehell Mar 2015 #44

while playing pool with my team of younger guys last tuesday, edgineered Mar 2015 #31

I don't want to be an old creep strawberries Mar 2015 #39

be the pink kind, with lots of bubbles edgineered Mar 2015 #100

Great answer! whathehell Mar 2015 #40

hmm, what the hell whathehell! edgineered Mar 2015 #101

I kind of have some respect for their guts hfojvt Mar 2015 #56

It takes no guts for an entitled man to hit on a younger woman in our society. F4lconF16 Mar 2015 #113

"a sexist older man who enjoys creeping woolldog Mar 2015 #119

It's all relative, no? nt F4lconF16 Mar 2015 #135

Yep. Double standard treestar Mar 2015 #59

The problem is men think money make up for their beer gut daredtowork Mar 2015 #84

I remember that as well... Arugula Latte Mar 2015 #137

Please...Your excellent description of our former admirers is making me nostalgic.. whathehell Mar 2015 #145

Ha ha -- me too ... Now I'm the one pushing 50 ... Arugula Latte Mar 2015 #147

I have noticed this too and it shocks me. smirkymonkey Mar 2015 #192

Yep...I have no idea where this comes from whathehell Mar 2015 #194

No matter how you date edhopper Mar 2015 #12

Respectfully, have to disagree HERVEPA Mar 2015 #13

What is it you want in a man and a relationship lunatica Mar 2015 #14

This message was self-deleted by its author rjsquirrel Mar 2015 #25

Everybody has preferences Treant Mar 2015 #16

The same that is wrong with women TexasMommaWithAHat Mar 2015 #18

After my wife passed away, I met my lady on Match. A real turn off before that were Hoyt Mar 2015 #19

I recently found out that John Poet Mar 2015 #47

Sorry for your loss strawberries Mar 2015 #132

I'd kind of prefer someone Aerows Mar 2015 #163

My daughter met her husband online gwheezie Mar 2015 #20

I hear you. annabanana Mar 2015 #42

has no clue either... yuiyoshida Mar 2015 #21

My daughter met her husband on match.com... and my MOTHER met hers there as well OKNancy Mar 2015 #23

How sweet! Stellar Mar 2015 #63

I met my husband through online dating NikolaC Mar 2015 #28

Nice story! nt strawberries Mar 2015 #34

Mr. Dixie and I met online 15 years ago. dixiegrrrrl Mar 2015 #29

My hubby and i met online moonbeam23 Mar 2015 #32

yet another friend of mine has been dabbling in online dating edgineered Mar 2015 #33

It is interesting how so much of these discussions center on looks n2doc Mar 2015 #43

Well, the point of the OP is that men she's encountered have these appearance standards for women, Arugula Latte Mar 2015 #138

My daughter met her husband on Match.com. A co-worker met his wife there. DebJ Mar 2015 #51

he's not asking for a "perfect" woman hfojvt Mar 2015 #52

One of the greatest concepts put forward by the artist Yoko Ono... Cooley Hurd Mar 2015 #54

He has a lot belly so good luck with that treestar Mar 2015 #62

speaking of double standards though hfojvt Mar 2015 #120

It's a double standard treestar Mar 2015 #125

I pretty much gave up when I was 43 hfojvt Mar 2015 #136

Men are never objects they are people treestar Mar 2015 #161

it's really hard to say never, and no one hfojvt Mar 2015 #168

Plenty of men went off in a huff treestar Mar 2015 #186

Explore the joys of singlehood. Binkie The Clown Mar 2015 #53

There are plenty of doofuses.. sendero Mar 2015 #60

It's worldwide, not just in the US Warpy Mar 2015 #64

Chinese men are in a sad situation now daredtowork Mar 2015 #85

I know and the same thing is happening in India, with dire consequences for women Warpy Mar 2015 #89

Sounds like San Francisco daredtowork Mar 2015 #94

Exactly, and they'd rather let it sit empty and take a tax loss. Warpy Mar 2015 #102

Aren't a lot of those actually built by Chinese investing companies? nt daredtowork Mar 2015 #104

I can't figure out how it is hard to meet men Skittles Mar 2015 #122

It's not hard to meet men. It's hard to meet men of quality, character, humor & substance and underahedgerow Mar 2015 #170

I have found plenty without advertising on the internet Skittles Mar 2015 #175

Whuh???? Talk to them like live, in real life and in person? Well we can't have that now, can we? underahedgerow Mar 2015 #180

I have found that many women limit by age, height, salary, all kinds of bullshit Skittles Mar 2015 #181

Well sure, and just for the sake of discussion, I offer up my reasons for being so 'picky' about underahedgerow Mar 2015 #195

I so relate to this smirkymonkey Mar 2015 #193

Exactly! The man in my life is a wonderful Jack X named Kevin. 'He's allll the man underahedgerow Mar 2015 #197

It isn't just men. dawg Mar 2015 #68

My experience is also that women can be picky. Jim Lane Mar 2015 #112

Getting to know people can increase their attractiveness treestar Mar 2015 #126

Maybe we are looking at this thing the wrong way. dawg Mar 2015 #127

Too bad DU doesn't have a dating group. I don't think there's one? Maybe a different online RKP5637 Mar 2015 #78

A dating group is a good idea. n/t dilby Mar 2015 #91

A woman I know is doing the online thing CountAllVotes Mar 2015 #79

So, let me understand this customerserviceguy Mar 2015 #109

When I say ugly I mean ugly CountAllVotes Mar 2015 #117

People like what they like. I don't meet most peoples' preferences, and I don't care. arcane1 Mar 2015 #81

When I was doing online dating Bluzmann57 Mar 2015 #82

I met my husband at Parents Without Partners... CTyankee Mar 2015 #86

Online dating is basically shucking oysters dilby Mar 2015 #90

Message auto-removed Name removed Mar 2015 #92

Men don't have to even shave. Jamastiene Mar 2015 #107

This post is great. F4lconF16 Mar 2015 #115

Ah yes, naming the hairy areas. U4ikLefty Mar 2015 #169

You have to approach online dating in a totally different way than conventional dating customerserviceguy Mar 2015 #108

Why is it shallow to not be attracted to larger people? woolldog Mar 2015 #114

"Consider yourself lucky, you don't have to waste another second with that person" Phentex Mar 2015 #130

You answered your own question. Turbineguy Mar 2015 #111

if you're in sw fl next weekend - edgineered Mar 2015 #118

Stop doing that and start participating in political and cultural activities eridani Mar 2015 #124

I met my SO online alarimer Mar 2015 #128

I don't think they read my profile either strawberries Mar 2015 #129

Always read the profile! dannward Mar 2015 #157

I have found that people who set standards usually end up not listening to them anyways. Oneironaut Mar 2015 #131

I was trying to make a point. big question here strawberries Mar 2015 #133

I was talking about the guy, just to clarify. Oneironaut Mar 2015 #140

My thread/post is on fire, how did that happen nt strawberries Mar 2015 #134

Hang in there. Puglover Mar 2015 #139

congratulations on your marriage strawberries Mar 2015 #142

Fingers crossed. nt Puglover Mar 2015 #143

Did he send you any dick pics? Capt. Obvious Mar 2015 #141

LOL Jesus strawberries Mar 2015 #144

Years and years ago--after my divorce--I did video dating (1980), a precursor to on-line dating. mnhtnbb Mar 2015 #148

I remember seeing commercials on video dating strawberries Mar 2015 #149

He was a jerk. Some people are. I occasionally wonder if he has a giant beer belly mnhtnbb Mar 2015 #150

Being attracted to slim women woolldog Mar 2015 #187

True. But men who feel the need to belittle women for not being mnhtnbb Mar 2015 #188

True. nt woolldog Mar 2015 #189

The irony is women still have it 100 times easier than men Blue_Tires Mar 2015 #152

I'm on a few dating sites too, and Jamaal510 Mar 2015 #153

I don't have color issues, so um where do you live? strawberries Mar 2015 #154

I'm back and forth between the Bay Area and Humboldt. Jamaal510 Mar 2015 #158

Do you have any Meetup.com groups in your area? woodsprite Mar 2015 #156

How you doin'? ChisolmTrailDem Mar 2015 #166

lol strawberries Mar 2015 #167

we don't look for perfections DanielLee5 Mar 2015 #172

"Someone explain something to me about men" Omaha Steve Mar 2015 #173

Not sure what title to put on this. Maybe: "Karma can be cruel". CincyDem Mar 2015 #177

let karma do the heavy lifting... i like your post. nt seabeyond Mar 2015 #178

thanks for the kind, but to the point post strawberries Mar 2015 #179

6'3" here, and presumably look about 50. KamaAina Mar 2015 #183

Short guys are better lovers! B Calm Mar 2015 #185

look at it this way steve2470 Mar 2015 #198

Message auto-removed Name removed Mar 2015 #199

Post removed Post removed Mar 2015 #200

Then you have the "Looking for Nurse With A Purse" old guys. Divernan Mar 2015 #201