General Discussion

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)

202. a question

Tue May 1, 2012, 05:50 PM

May 2012

not an attack. not a correction. not a lecture. just a simple question because i am fascinated with this and i really want to hear why from others. i did this, too. and my hubby does it. and my two sons. we discussed it. not pointing fingers. not challenging you. and not telling you to change.... . did i cover it all? (not talking to you personally either, cause i think you can handle this question.)

oh, and it isnt the most important question in the world, or all of my world or make me angry, or anything else. K

""Ladies" is my choice in professional or social situations"

why would you choose lady in a professional environment. because, i am pretty sure we would say man, not gentleman in a professional environment. so why are you not comfortable with woman and use ladies?

again, i am not doing any of the stuff above. but i am curious.

i find a lot of people feel this way.

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Highlight:

Women only: Regarding the use of the term 'girls' to describe women. [View all] redqueen May 2012 OP

I am not a girl RobertEarl May 2012 #1

A real egalitarian? redqueen May 2012 #2

it takes serious insensitivity... CTyankee May 2012 #11

Right. RobertEarl May 2012 #16

Oh, you saint, you! CTyankee May 2012 #26

Undertsandable, but take a moment to think about it. redqueen May 2012 #32

Do what you want to do RobertEarl May 2012 #36

and the white male conservative says to maddow.... you girls, .... in order to diminish, dismiss seabeyond May 2012 #39

Seems to me RobertEarl May 2012 #48

seems to me that you are purposely trying to be sexist. why? what is the pay off for you? nt seabeyond May 2012 #56

allow me to offer a word here. His purpose is to get attention. CTyankee May 2012 #61

what a woman you are, lol... nt seabeyond May 2012 #64

Post removed Post removed May 2012 #77

now you are just sounding.... creepy. nt seabeyond May 2012 #82

snork iverglas May 2012 #273

ya. i know .... nt seabeyond May 2012 #274

They can't hurt you if you don't let them. sabrina 1 May 2012 #62

who is excited. called a discussion. nd the way and reasons usage like these seabeyond May 2012 #66

This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass May 2012 #118

I find it very offensive of you to accuse another poster of being "a problem" simply for disagreeing DutchLiberal May 2012 #75

It'd be nice to get some answers to those questions. nt redqueen May 2012 #40

Are you not familiar with polling? me b zola May 2012 #109

Since women make up 50% of the population, how are they 'a minority group'? DutchLiberal May 2012 #68

I have explained this to you before. redqueen May 2012 #71

So you're making up your own definitions now? DutchLiberal May 2012 #78

Sweet Jesus. nt redqueen May 2012 #79

Since you seem to have some strange aversion TriMera May 2012 #121

excellent! n/t Scout May 2012 #133

Well, ya know... TriMera May 2012 #152

Yes, we must be kind. They need help. I am more than happy to offer it! CTyankee May 2012 #281

Great presentation nt stevenleser May 2012 #470

but a girl is not a woman. is a boy a man? lmao. nt seabeyond May 2012 #12

Sure. RobertEarl May 2012 #14

He is if he's a good old boy. UnrepentantLiberal May 2012 #300

A man can be a boy Confusious May 2012 #320

And in that sense, women can be girls, too! Lizzie Poppet May 2012 #347

It's always about context. Hell Hath No Fury May 2012 #3

Yes, hence the two middle-ground poll answers. redqueen May 2012 #5

My daughter plays Fast-Pitch softball... Whiskeytide May 2012 #42

Oh no no no... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say I didn't welcome men to post... redqueen May 2012 #45

yes... the are playing off of, mocking that is said and good for them seabeyond May 2012 #51

Yep. EFerrari May 2012 #50

Wow! zappaman May 2012 #90

I think it's more about self-confidence than anger issues. DutchLiberal May 2012 #94

That's a good point. n/t zappaman May 2012 #98

That self-confidence that you're so proud of TriMera May 2012 #167

Yes, you turned women into helpless, powerless victims who can't do anything on their own... DutchLiberal May 2012 #190

That's what you got from my post? TriMera May 2012 #195

That's what you said. DutchLiberal May 2012 #198

"You said women can't have any self-confidence because men (the patriarchy) won't let them." Scout May 2012 #257

Sure, if you cut up the quote it's easy to look like you're right. DutchLiberal May 2012 #277

you know you are a male behaving badly, don't you? noiretextatique May 2012 #441

Please, don't assume men are some pillar of self-confidence. Bladian May 2012 #218

Nobody handed me anything Confusious May 2012 #322

This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass May 2012 #326

Same here... redqueen May 2012 #97

But you do seem to have reading issues. EFerrari May 2012 #104

The way you said it... "got up into the face of"... redqueen May 2012 #106

Could be. It's the internet after all and we can't see expressions EFerrari May 2012 #120

"asking for a list of forbidden words just misses the mark entirely" redqueen May 2012 #123

Getting "up in someone's face" is just a literalization of "confronting" EFerrari May 2012 #128

not only can it be done without anger, i use a smile seabeyond May 2012 #131

So if someone would refer to you as a girl, you wouldn't be able to 'get into that guys face'? DutchLiberal May 2012 #129

Yes, I'm sure you were very calm zappaman May 2012 #112

Newsflash 2: You don't have to be angry or combative to confront someone EFerrari May 2012 #115

It means to confront someone angrily zappaman May 2012 #119

I'm not hiring editors today. EFerrari May 2012 #124

"I got up in (his/her) face" is so common among my clients that if I had msanthrope May 2012 #306

I can only imagine that you never take exception when someone says to you LanternWaste May 2012 #122

As a native Texan... redqueen May 2012 #125

But if someone insisted those terms were belittling or insulting, would you stop using them? DutchLiberal May 2012 #130

With them, of course TorchTheWitch May 2012 #168

you are so awesome, consistently and always. seabeyond May 2012 #170

So if someone told me the word "and" is offensive to them, I should stop using "and"? DutchLiberal May 2012 #185

I see "bless your heart" as either genuine concern, or a back-handed compliment LanternWaste May 2012 #290

In my experience, they very often are belittling justabob May 2012 #403

You are correct. n/t zappaman May 2012 #132

Me neither leftynyc May 2012 #134

It depends on the age of the "girl" Quantess May 2012 #4

An elderly senior executive referring to his young secretary? redqueen May 2012 #6

"I'll have my woman order lunch" doesn't sound any better. Quantess May 2012 #46

"I'll have Lisa order lunch" MadrasT May 2012 #73

Well, obviously. Quantess May 2012 #166

cuz, you know, saying "i'll ask my assistant to order lunch" Scout May 2012 #74

The way the question was framed to me by Redqueen Quantess May 2012 #173

When I was 20, it might have bothered me. Now at 50+ it makes me laugh and smile. robinlynne May 2012 #7

Really? redqueen May 2012 #9

When somone is being demeaning, it doesn't matter what term they use. It's demeaning. robinlynne May 2012 #8

interesting poll and let me tell you why. what i voted is not specifically how i feel, seabeyond May 2012 #10

I always use "women" when we are talking about women. I reserve "girls" for what are really CTyankee May 2012 #22

good for you. i really had to condition myself to use woman. i love the word seabeyond May 2012 #27

I have tried and tried to understand why so many women have felt this way. CTyankee May 2012 #37

personally investing the time thinking and discussing this. age seabeyond May 2012 #47

Oh. My. God. DutchLiberal May 2012 #84

Veritably a household of fun! n/t zappaman May 2012 #93

You better believe it. EOTE May 2012 #127

I'm always at a loss as how to properly address the woman half of humanity madokie May 2012 #13

Women are regular people, just like men, and just like men, we have different opinions. redqueen May 2012 #15

Thank you madokie May 2012 #28

i dont know. i have a special place in my heart for my father. he was awfully special, too seabeyond May 2012 #30

Mybad madokie May 2012 #52

ya ya ya. nt seabeyond May 2012 #59

That's biased against women without children!!111! redqueen May 2012 #67

If you are over 30 we can use damsel, under 30 we can use lassie, that work for ya? snooper2 May 2012 #17

Please see the update to the OP. nt redqueen May 2012 #20

Update's cool but I don't think that works very well on the public internet tubes snooper2 May 2012 #23

The clarification wasn't about who should be voting... redqueen May 2012 #25

Why would anyone find this demeaning??? cbdo2007 May 2012 #18

Please see the update to the OP. nt redqueen May 2012 #21

Why would African-American men find "boy" demeaning? Gormy Cuss May 2012 #24

Why would you think I would "diminish" my sister's "worth" by calling her a girl? DutchLiberal May 2012 #88

Is your sister an adult? If she is, then yes you risk diminishing her worth by call her a child. Gormy Cuss May 2012 #140

I seriously think some posters have disconnected their theoretical views from the real world. DutchLiberal May 2012 #193

Never took a gender studies class. I've lived life as a girl and a woman. Gormy Cuss May 2012 #208

I just used that as an example; it wasn't an attack on you. DutchLiberal May 2012 #212

IIRC it was consistent with EEOC guidelines Gormy Cuss May 2012 #224

I don't know what EEOC guidelines are. What does EEOC stand for? DutchLiberal May 2012 #229

Equal Employment Opportunity Commission Gormy Cuss May 2012 #245

I still think it's nonsense. DutchLiberal May 2012 #247

I understand, but it's not considered such under U.S. law. n/t Gormy Cuss May 2012 #261

That's true. Then again, many laws are nonsense, too. DutchLiberal May 2012 #262

so where's your "False Comparison" accusation now? n/t Scout May 2012 #144

I was comparing calling a woman a girl with calling a woman a girl? DutchLiberal May 2012 #194

nope. try again. Scout May 2012 #259

I compared women to women; you compared women to African-Americans. DutchLiberal May 2012 #265

It all depends on context. cbdo2007 May 2012 #89

I was replying to a question of why it would be perceived as demeaning. Gormy Cuss May 2012 #141

I agree. Well said. n/t DLevine May 2012 #160

Because Andrea Dworkin told them to. DutchLiberal May 2012 #87

don't worry your pretty little head... Scout May 2012 #142

OMG!!!!!1!1 You just said 'pretty little head'! I'm gonna alert!!!!1!1 DutchLiberal May 2012 #179

here's a clue: grown women don't like to be called girls; black men don't like to be called boys noiretextatique May 2012 #445

I first chose the third option but after thinking about it... Spazito May 2012 #19

As a dude may I chime in? Taverner May 2012 #29

Yes! Yes of course, sorry redqueen May 2012 #33

the boys in the band? Playing poker with the boys? dmallind May 2012 #43

The perception of "girls" is different than "boys" Taverner May 2012 #63

There's a difference between the plural and the singular..... ProudToBeBlueInRhody May 2012 #149

Is there ANY term that... 99Forever May 2012 #31

white male privilege takes us a long way seabeyond May 2012 #34

Many offensive terms are used to reinforce social norms... redqueen May 2012 #38

I'm sure he gets it. He just doesn't agree with it. DutchLiberal May 2012 #96

So he understands these terms are used to maintain a group's dominant status... redqueen May 2012 #99

No, he doesn't agree with your theories about these terms. DutchLiberal May 2012 #103

They're not *my* theories, just as the definition of a minority group is not *my* definition. redqueen May 2012 #110

"Fucksake, why do I bother?" i do not know. why? seabeyond May 2012 #111

Hahahahaha... redqueen May 2012 #116

Okay, then he doesn't agree with SOMEBODY ELSE'S theories that YOU used... DutchLiberal May 2012 #113

oh they get it all right Scout May 2012 #146

Or they just disagree. DutchLiberal May 2012 #200

You forgot the sarcasm tag. n/t Gormy Cuss May 2012 #53

No, my friend ... 99Forever May 2012 #174

I'm sorry about the "actual shit" in your life Gormy Cuss May 2012 #215

What you seem not to want to... 99Forever May 2012 #266

What you seem not to want to understand is this isn't trivial. Gormy Cuss May 2012 #279

REAL gender bias... MadrasT May 2012 #280

Be prepared to have your post alerted on because you "don't think women deserve any respect"... DutchLiberal May 2012 #92

spoken like a true ally noiretextatique May 2012 #450

So now the word... 99Forever May 2012 #462

I don't mind it if it's between girlfriends joking around, sufrommich May 2012 #35

I also prefer "Ma'am" to "Mrs." planetc May 2012 #41

Love this post! redqueen May 2012 #49

I prefer Ms. personnally. Hatchling May 2012 #147

I attribute this more to young people not knowing better and not being taught these things ProudToBeBlueInRhody May 2012 #154

I've always found the term seriously creepy. closeupready May 2012 #44

I'd say it's more internalized patriarchy than self-respect issues... redqueen May 2012 #55

Yes, that is an excellent point, thanks. closeupready May 2012 #69

My pleasure! redqueen May 2012 #72

I think it's offensive to dismiss other womens' opinions like that. DutchLiberal May 2012 #102

I find your opinion pretty judgemental of other women ProudToBeBlueInRhody May 2012 #165

When in doubt, use "Lady". (nt) Nye Bevan May 2012 #54

yuk... societal enforced rule on behavior. yuk... lol seabeyond May 2012 #60

Not sure if serious... redqueen May 2012 #65

I never complain about being referred to as a "gentleman", Nye Bevan May 2012 #80

Ah, but 'gentlemen' were never property. redqueen May 2012 #85

These rules can be confusing.... Nye Bevan May 2012 #91

They're not rules. redqueen May 2012 #95

In all seriousness, are you saying the word "lady" is some sort of insult? zappaman May 2012 #100

Not at all. redqueen May 2012 #105

not an insult, but not a compliment either. Scout May 2012 #148

Nothing ProudToBeBlueInRhody May 2012 #162

"The woman in red, is dancing with me, cheek to cheek..." Nye Bevan May 2012 #176

Nothing wrong with the word "lady" zappaman May 2012 #188

That's disgraceful. She should refer to her boobies as "the women". Nye Bevan May 2012 #197

Ha! zappaman May 2012 #201

The word "boobies" clearly belittles breasts. DutchLiberal May 2012 #205

Post removed Post removed May 2012 #252

it's all about context noiretextatique May 2012 #442

Oh, you better believe "lady" can be offensive as hell TorchTheWitch May 2012 #410

i just posted about "lady" noiretextatique May 2012 #444

Actually, they're very simple, if you just keep two things in mind: DutchLiberal May 2012 #108

no thankyou. Whisp May 2012 #101

Uh oh......re-education time. ProudToBeBlueInRhody May 2012 #155

Cue the bad rock song... Quantess May 2012 #282

I don't mind at all so long as the guys don't mind being called "boys" - lynne May 2012 #57

You'd never here me object. ProudToBeBlueInRhody May 2012 #156

I have a friend in her 30's who still says "I met a boy!!!" and I think it's endearing Quixote1818 May 2012 #382

What a misandrist! DutchLiberal May 2012 #391

I picked B. woo me with science May 2012 #58

"might sometimes be offensive".... Little Star May 2012 #70

Yes, context means so much... redqueen May 2012 #83

Girls I don't mind abolugi May 2012 #76

This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass May 2012 #81

Yes, the context of your taking offense is more personal... redqueen May 2012 #86

It's not the word, but the tone of voice, that tells you if you are being dissed Demeter May 2012 #107

Damn true ProudToBeBlueInRhody May 2012 #157

I don't care at all. DevonRex May 2012 #114

Then you must have serious self-respect issues. DutchLiberal May 2012 #117

I just decided a long time ago that DevonRex May 2012 #139

That's a healthy attitude to have! Thanks for your post. DutchLiberal May 2012 #178

Is there a feminine equivalent to the word "guy" tabbycat31 May 2012 #126

Gal. But I hate that word. Sounds too DevonRex May 2012 #135

Really? "Gal" got used a lot in all old movies ProudToBeBlueInRhody May 2012 #158

Yes, and "doll" and "broad", which we also cannot use anymore. DutchLiberal May 2012 #206

I think as long as you don't shove a grapefruit in her face...... ProudToBeBlueInRhody May 2012 #258

"Guys" denotes mature males....while "girls" aren't mature women. Lars39 May 2012 #137

And this becomes a confusing issue for me. Hatchling May 2012 #151

calif i was raised with hi guys, for everyone. texas is hi yawl..... seabeyond May 2012 #153

Opposite for me. Hatchling May 2012 #164

Being born in the north, but raised in the south from about 10 onwards, Lars39 May 2012 #159

In my family frogmarch May 2012 #136

Your poll went in a direction I did not expect. LanternWaste May 2012 #138

btw... i forgot about your post in all this mess of a thread. i wanted to ask seabeyond May 2012 #291

I have a pretty high tolerance for words of all kinds Blue_In_AK May 2012 #143

No big deal. No deal at all. I actually have important things to concern myself with. WillowTree May 2012 #145

like taking the time to post to tell everyone how many more important Scout May 2012 #150

+1 Little Star May 2012 #295

I just find this to be trivial to the point of being a non-issue. YMMV. WillowTree May 2012 #303

well, then, why did you waste that valuable time to make people laugh on this thread? CTyankee May 2012 #307

I hope your day improves. WillowTree May 2012 #310

Pass. Depends on the situation eridani May 2012 #161

This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass May 2012 #163

seriously? lol. nt seabeyond May 2012 #171

This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass May 2012 #335

you are a genius. you caught me copy and pasting the poster i replied to. seabeyond May 2012 #336

This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass May 2012 #340

ah, copy and pasting is not a matter of excuses, but a reality. seabeyond May 2012 #344

seaglas, if you have read any of my posts in this thread, you would recognize that i too seabeyond May 2012 #337

This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass May 2012 #341

i think that is what i have done. nt seabeyond May 2012 #345

That, right there, is the key, I think. DutchLiberal May 2012 #368

And that is not the worst part of that thread. DutchLiberal May 2012 #367

Yes, that was my one and only reason... redqueen May 2012 #182

This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass May 2012 #233

Well, since it's a public forum it's not technically 'behind their backs'... DutchLiberal May 2012 #214

This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass May 2012 #232

That last thing goes without saying. DutchLiberal May 2012 #242

I suppose it depends on the situation KansDem May 2012 #169

I think people should try not to get so offended all the time lunatica May 2012 #172

If the biggest problem someone has is being called a "girl" or a "lady" Nye Bevan May 2012 #177

My Dad always had a smile on his face when he 'and the boys' (his words) were polly7 May 2012 #180

That silly rhetorical device is used way too often... redqueen May 2012 #184

Do you really think that was sneaky or subtle? redqueen May 2012 #183

yeah... lunatica May 2012 #236

No problem with it at all. nt. polly7 May 2012 #175

Funny, I just had this discussion last night with good friend who is a woman... DCBob May 2012 #181

Since we all live in the patriarchy, terms which belittle women are ubiquitous, it is true. redqueen May 2012 #186

I also forgot to mention my friend "convinced" me not to use the term anymore.. DCBob May 2012 #187

Hope you liked the comic! redqueen May 2012 #189

Yes, very good. DCBob May 2012 #192

That darn patriarchy! DutchLiberal May 2012 #217

I'm more sensitive to it because of DU ecstatic May 2012 #191

It's all about context etherealtruth May 2012 #196

I just use "you people" for everybody. I like to offend unilaterally. bluesbassman May 2012 #199

a question seabeyond May 2012 #202

"Gentleman farmer" (nt) Nye Bevan May 2012 #204

Good question. bluesbassman May 2012 #207

interesting. thanks. nt seabeyond May 2012 #211

I use "gentlemen" to open my business emails to address the multiple males on my contact list.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody May 2012 #219

i dont get why the attitude is necessary. i really do not. and yes seabeyond May 2012 #220

I'm sorry....what "attitude"? ProudToBeBlueInRhody May 2012 #231

as many posters have said, many of us did not realize the conditioning we have all fallen into using seabeyond May 2012 #235

Your question to the other poster specifically said "You don't use the term gentleman"..... ProudToBeBlueInRhody May 2012 #237

you are telling me, when you talk to the men in your office you use gentlemen and not men? seabeyond May 2012 #238

Sorry, I do, I explained the situations I use it in my OP ProudToBeBlueInRhody May 2012 #240

So, where's my nearest re-education camp to fix this seabeyond May 2012 #241

ROTFLMAO DutchLiberal May 2012 #244

The attitude that you don't agree with her. DutchLiberal May 2012 #243

This message was self-deleted by its author seabeyond May 2012 #246

lol DutchLiberal May 2012 #248

you were the one that INSISTED on only THREE women on ALL of du had an issue with girls and ALL the seabeyond May 2012 #251

Hyperbole. DutchLiberal May 2012 #253

do you need a link. a quote to YOUR statement. talk about fuckin hyperbole. right in seabeyond May 2012 #254

... DutchLiberal May 2012 #260

This message was self-deleted by its author seabeyond May 2012 #264

You're projecting. DutchLiberal May 2012 #268

and still... i count more than THREE. but hey, ignore it. nt seabeyond May 2012 #270

Enjoy the flamefest by yourself. This is really below my standards. DutchLiberal May 2012 #275

THREE, in the whole wide world, only THREE women prefer to be called a seabeyond May 2012 #276

Dang, Dutch. Mc Mike May 2012 #286

THANK YOU! nt redqueen May 2012 #288

Solidarity, Red. Mc Mike May 2012 #289

i am asking if i can fall in love, another woman is saying mouth dropped open seabeyond May 2012 #292

Thanks, Sea. Mc Mike May 2012 #318

Thanks for your post, I appreciate it. DutchLiberal May 2012 #298

My God. redqueen May 2012 #299

Really? The attack-mode, immediately, again? DutchLiberal May 2012 #304

I guess I should not 'try to teach my grandpa how to suck eggs', but Mc Mike May 2012 #319

Not that you asked for my opinion, redqueen May 2012 #321

If I have your o.k., will do. Mc Mike May 2012 #323

Oh you have more than my ok. redqueen May 2012 #325

Why is my 'sheer volume of posts' "angry revenge" and, for example, seabeyond's isn't? DutchLiberal May 2012 #329

That was just my impression, not meant as an indictment. Mc Mike May 2012 #358

2nd re to 298, per Red's 321 Mc Mike May 2012 #328

You're mixing up two totally different things. DutchLiberal May 2012 #331

I'm sorry you feel that way. It wasn't meant as an attack. Mc Mike May 2012 #364

Third para, fourth para Mc Mike May 2012 #330

5th para, prostitution: Mc Mike May 2012 #348

5th para, porn: Mc Mike May 2012 #350

"Porn is the nazi's way of keeping two people from love," DutchLiberal May 2012 #359

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague May 2012 #362

Har har! But I strongly oppose the Birchers. Mc Mike May 2012 #365

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague May 2012 #381

Para 5 - 10: Mc Mike May 2012 #357

actually.... seabeyond May 2012 #361

Thank you, sea. I lost Dutch, a couple of posts north of here. Mc Mike May 2012 #366

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague May 2012 #383

Your own familiarity is extremely lacking as well, it seems. redqueen May 2012 #385

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague May 2012 #408

Thanks for the welcome. Sorry if I offended you. Mc Mike May 2012 #412

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague May 2012 #432

Thanks for the welcome, again. Mc Mike May 2012 #433

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague May 2012 #438

I didn't pipe up until post 286. Mc Mike May 2012 #440

He was referring to Schrödinger's Rapist redqueen May 2012 #384

Post removed Post removed May 2012 #394

A "girl", was it? redqueen May 2012 #399

All right. +1. Up to speed, now. Mc Mike May 2012 #411

Refreshing to see your posts.... hlthe2b May 2012 #413

Thanks a lot, hl. Mc Mike May 2012 #424

"All black men are potential violent gang members"; "All muslims are potential terrorists" DutchLiberal May 2012 #369

I agree, and I'm so sick of seeing this here. nt. polly7 May 2012 #372

No kidding zappaman May 2012 #373

How DARE you belittle a woman's point of view? DutchLiberal May 2012 #375

You should go to the History of Feminist group if you want to get really sick. DutchLiberal May 2012 #374

You ventured into that den of nastiness? zappaman May 2012 #376

I don't think saying "balls" when you mean "courage" is appropriate on DU3 anymore. DutchLiberal May 2012 #377

Nah ..... I don't go there. polly7 May 2012 #380

Yeah, you'd think that by now, The Patriarchy would have all feminists banned from this website! DutchLiberal May 2012 #389

+ + + + n/t FedUpWithIt All May 2012 #427

You agree? redqueen May 2012 #387

She wasn't replying to that. She was replying to a female DU'er calling all men rapists. DutchLiberal May 2012 #396

Ahem. redqueen May 2012 #386

Either for ONCE, address what I write instead of spamming links or else don't bother me anymore. DutchLiberal May 2012 #388

I read that months ago, as did most other feminists, when it was being discussed. redqueen May 2012 #390

We have never discussed that before and I was never in a discussion about "all men are rapists"... DutchLiberal May 2012 #397

Another excellent and interesting post, along with the Schroedinger's post. Mc Mike May 2012 #414

Comradde PhysioProffe is great redqueen May 2012 #416

First time I've seen the site. Mc Mike May 2012 #420

"feeling very 'entitled'." taht would about sum it up and a wonderful learning example seabeyond May 2012 #421

I tried a few of those here, to see what would bounce back. Mc Mike May 2012 #425

The story of a brave, strong young woman standing up to influential powerful men: DutchLiberal May 2012 #203

So...what are you girls talking about in here? flvegan May 2012 #209

You got stones Brother. bluesbassman May 2012 #213

not really. just his MO. nt seabeyond May 2012 #216

Yep. redqueen May 2012 #223

lol seabeyond May 2012 #225

roflmao DutchLiberal May 2012 #228

After much consideration, the only place where the use of the words "girl" or "girls" bothers me... PassingFair May 2012 #210

This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass May 2012 #234

Just don't call me late for dinner. babylonsister May 2012 #221

In context, it's usually pretty obvious if the intent is informality or insult. LeftyMom May 2012 #222

You GO, girl! flvegan May 2012 #255

Was that part of your MO too? LeftyMom May 2012 #263

high five woman..... seabeyond May 2012 #267

I don't need a high five for joking with my boyfriend. But thanks. Or something. LeftyMom May 2012 #269

you are welcome. seabeyond May 2012 #271

Post removed Post removed May 2012 #278

I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day... DutchLiberal May 2012 #226

The Dutchman's not the kind of man.. Mc Mike May 2012 #426

A fascinating thread...I would never use the term to anyone over 14 but I'm a man....Were I female, Rowdyboy May 2012 #227

Is it sexist for me to say I'm broadminded? Bruce Wayne May 2012 #230

Should I be outraged that us guys get jokingly called "The Boys"? Odin2005 May 2012 #239

A lot depends on context varelse May 2012 #249

Just don't call me "ma'am" I hate that. jillan May 2012 #250

I feel the same way with "sir" ProudToBeBlueInRhody May 2012 #256

My dad turns around and looks for his father when anybody says Mr. His Last Name. LeftyMom May 2012 #272

AS IF this was an actual problem???? BeHereNow May 2012 #283

Ah yes, one of the most common responses when feminists attempt to discuss redqueen May 2012 #285

Redqueen, HERE is an actual problem, wanna come with some of us to make a difference? BeHereNow May 2012 #297

I've never been to Pine Ridge, but have been to Rosebud and the Black Hills Mc Mike May 2012 #419

+1 hifiguy May 2012 #428

yes. womens issues are often put on the backburner, until they arent. like repug seabeyond May 2012 #429

If pandemics, natural disasters or climate change hifiguy May 2012 #430

again, man, good of you to let us women know what we should be concerned with seabeyond May 2012 #431

It really depends on the circumstances. a la izquierda May 2012 #284

I have found this to be a (mostly) very interesting discussion Seeking Serenity May 2012 #287

I'm reminded of the time Lynette Fromm (attempted assassin of Gerald Ford) Lydia Leftcoast May 2012 #293

interesting.... isnt it? seabeyond May 2012 #294

Yeah, interesting that somebody was upset by the 'belittling' of an assassin. DutchLiberal May 2012 #305

123 certainly is more than THREE people, right? 123 out of 158. seems to me seabeyond May 2012 #308

So you're actually standing up for an assassin? DutchLiberal May 2012 #311

it is good to see you finally admit calling a woman a girl is belittling. i knew you would come to seabeyond May 2012 #312

... and then she says MEN are condescending toward others! DutchLiberal May 2012 #313

you go in every direction, yet still.... you refuse to own up to a couple simple words. wrong. seabeyond May 2012 #314

And this is the SECOND flame-fest you instigated that you may continue all by yourself! DutchLiberal May 2012 #315

why wont you simply acknowledge there are more than three people in all of du that disagree with you seabeyond May 2012 #316

Dutch tv news today referred to a 27 year old assassin as "the boy". DutchLiberal May 2012 #360

Well, that's Dutch Lydia Leftcoast May 2012 #371

I switched to using "women" in college Nikia May 2012 #296

I find that using the terms young men and young women acknowledges the professional Luminous Animal May 2012 #352

that is what i chose. nt seabeyond May 2012 #353

A friend of mine referred to my 22 year old daughter as a "girl" and in the same sentence, Luminous Animal May 2012 #355

I am a guy, so I did not vote. ZombieHorde May 2012 #301

(I'm terrible with time) me too me too. and the more i dont care seabeyond May 2012 #302

Interesting poll. Rex May 2012 #309

I don't have a problem with the term "girl" as long as it's being used by other women. Beacool May 2012 #317

The use of this term drives me crazy. Vinca May 2012 #324

Same - it really annoys me. A subtle way of putting down women TBF May 2012 #327

There are more user names with "girl" in them in the offensive option. FedUpWithIt All May 2012 #332

In group use is vastly different. redqueen May 2012 #333

What you are saying does not bear out in this thread. FedUpWithIt All May 2012 #334

I am SO with you on this. +1000! nt. polly7 May 2012 #342

All about the individual. Society? pff. And apparently 'words have meaning' ONLY redqueen May 2012 #343

Angry? I thought this wasn't about rage. FedUpWithIt All May 2012 #351

LOL, hardly. redqueen May 2012 #354

I'm not interested in the attemps to switch out "their conditioning" for "your conditioning" FedUpWithIt All May 2012 #356

What do you think of another woman telling you that you are "conditioned" & thus should be educated? DutchLiberal May 2012 #370

Apparently i find it offensive. I also find much of what you post offensive. FedUpWithIt All May 2012 #418

why can't people grasp the difference between intragroup usage noiretextatique May 2012 #446

No, it is very simple, you're right. redqueen May 2012 #447

Exactly. lumberjack_jeff May 2012 #415

Language is how we communicate ideas noamnety May 2012 #338

It seems very simple, redqueen May 2012 #339

For me, it's context-driven and situational. Lizzie Poppet May 2012 #346

"Taking offense" at anything is something I don't care about and don't do. Waiting For Everyman May 2012 #349

Goes without saying, the only ones who should be referred as girls, are well nadinbrzezinski May 2012 #363

I usually use the term "women" but always feel like I am making them feel old when I do that Quixote1818 May 2012 #378

"I met a boy" seabeyond May 2012 #393

Blame it on the movie Oklahoma. ;) Quixote1818 May 2012 #379

Here's the t-shirt and the hat Major Nikon May 2012 #392

yes... tell me, why do you want to interfer with women discussing their feelings on an issue seabeyond May 2012 #395

Well, a woman in this thread was told by a feminist that "she had serious self-respect issues" DutchLiberal May 2012 #398

and a 139 women on this thread have said it is offensive when a man uses girl to be condescending seabeyond May 2012 #400

And you seem to be missing that over 40 women polled that it was NOT offensive FedUpWithIt All May 2012 #417

Is there more than one person referring to self worth? redqueen May 2012 #422

Last intrusion from me, red: Mc Mike May 2012 #435

There's not one. That DUer got lucky once redqueen May 2012 #436

The Women's rights post-ers that remain are doing plenty of good posting, though. Mc Mike May 2012 #437

of course i dont forget the 40 or so women that do not have an issue at all with girls. seabeyond May 2012 #423

Why do you want to tell men to just shut up? Major Nikon May 2012 #401

i asked you a question. that would be the opposite of asking you to "shut up". so no.... seabeyond May 2012 #402

You asked me why don't I just shut up Major Nikon May 2012 #404

ah hahah. "I would be admitting my intention was to interfere " and by gosh, you certainly seabeyond May 2012 #405

Ya gotta love people who double down when they've been busted cold Major Nikon May 2012 #406

maybe if men wouldnt be so predictable at doing just that, you know, that old conditioning seabeyond May 2012 #407

It's no more offensive than the term "ladies." eShirl May 2012 #409

Spam deleted by OKNancy (MIR Team) deitzjim May 2012 #434

In a lot of ways, it's a compliment Ter May 2012 #439

It is only a compliment redqueen May 2012 #449

I remember many years ago a guy said this to me: Bryn May 2012 #443

Sounds to me like he was criticizing women who internalized the patriarchy's values. redqueen May 2012 #448

true that, but that is an interesting point. the poster above saying a compliment seabeyond May 2012 #451

btw, more and more men are getting into the poll voting they dont mind being called girl seabeyond May 2012 #452

Sad, isn't it? redqueen May 2012 #453

wink. nt seabeyond May 2012 #454

400 plus posts...let me wade into this epic poll thread. Rex May 2012 #455

Since girlfriend has an analogous term for men, redqueen May 2012 #456

I have a huge problem with the word 'boy'. Rex May 2012 #457

Oh yes, I definitely understand. redqueen May 2012 #458

I am sure you have Rex May 2012 #459

Those are very clear examples of when it is used redqueen May 2012 #460

Yes very degrading and dehumanizing. Rex May 2012 #461

very revealing discussion noiretextatique May 2012 #463

If you start watching for this kind of stuff, redqueen May 2012 #464

I'm positive most adults are fully capable of knowing when a word is being used to insult polly7 May 2012 #465

clearly, many do not "get it" at all noiretextatique May 2012 #469

golden girls? spanone May 2012 #466

#1 Decades ago. #2 That's what they called themselves. nt Honeycombe8 May 2012 #468

Call me anything you like except late for dinner.... MindMover May 2012 #467