Women only: Regarding the use of the term 'girls' to describe women.

[Seeking Serenity]

287. I have found this to be a (mostly) very interesting discussion

I opted to "pass" because I didn't find an answer that best described what I think about it. But I agree with several of the posters above that it's CONTEXT that determines a word's offensiveness. I will not put a blanket rule down that a word is or should be considered by everyone to be offensive all the time under all circumstances. If my husband/male friends/girlfriends call me "girl" or "baby" or whatever, I'm usually cool with it (meaning, I didn't even stop to think whether I should be offended), unless it was clear that it was meant to be dismissive, and usually even then it may be in the course of an argument or animated discussion, at which I'll let it slide even then. I'm not beneath calling my husband "sweetcheeks" or some such, either in playfulness or otherwise. If I say something that, in context, offends him, I'll apologize, as will he. And then we move on.

As far as when others do it, people I don't know, I don't know. Depends on the situation. I live in the South, so I am well accustomed to waitresses (oops, was that demeaning?) calling me "honey," or "sugar" or whatever. That's just normal for here. I never give it a second thought. But if someone I didn't know, male or female, said similar things in a different milieu, I might take offense depending on how it was said and the context.

This is way too subtle for a hard-and-fast rule that all should obey. But then, I'm not always on the lookout for things I should be offended about. I kinda take the Potter Stewart approach (paraphrasing): I may not know how to define what's offensive and what's not, but I know it when I see (hear) it. I realize that's not very helpful.