I Am Disabled and People Tell Me On a Regular Basis That They Would Rather Die Than Be Like Me

[applegrove]

84. I'm celibate. I assumed I would fall in love when I was younger

but I did not find anyone. I'm glad. I love being alone and deep in thought. People have said to me they wouldn't want to live that way. What would be the point. But I get such a connection with the world when I think about the issues of the day. I would not want to ever be in a relationship... I'd be bad at it. I would not have the time or capacity for quiet contemplation. That would be a miserable existence for me. I'm too sensitive. I can't hear. I simply don't connect to the world through another person with as much reward as I do when I think. Talking is not who I am or where my strengths lie. I'm living the life I was meant for. It is only in these past few years that I really feel it is my time in the sun. Before than I was used by one person or another and did not have the wide open space I crave. I have ancestors on both sides who had multiple siblings who never married, so I was born this way. I'm so lucky to be so self contained.

Nobody knows what you value and how rewarding it is to be just the way you are unless they know you very, very well. This person was totally judging you. And really you have to feel sorry for those who go through life judging others without knowing them and making the wrong assumptions. There is a really good book on this very thing by a Canadian writer Rohinton Misty called "A Fine Balance". It is one of those books that stays with you. I read it 15 years ago and often think of it.