TSA’s Secret Behavior Checklist to Spot Terrorists (Don't yawn)

[niyad]

2. how to spot a terrorist.

hmm, I could be yawning because I didn't get any sleep worrying about flying, and the stupid tsa.

hmm, I could just really be annoyed about the wasteful, excessive screening nonsense.

hmm, I could be "excessively" clearing my throat because the air is dry, or because I have some respiratory issues, like allergies to the stupidity of tsa.

hmm, I could have widely staring eyes because of the drops I used, or because that last eyelift was a bit excessive, or because I really hate flying.

hmm, I could be wearing improper attire for location (emily post has not yet indicated what is appropriate attire for being treated like a terrorist), or perhaps I dressed for my arrival location.

hmm, maybe I am whistling to keep from being nervous about flying, or because I just like to whistle, or because some damned ear worm is making me nuts.

hmm, maybe my exaggerated grooming efforts are because I know that my hair is flying everywhere, or because my makeup is running in the heat, or. . . .

hmm, perhaps I shaved my beard because it is no longer winter and I want to feel the sun, or because the beard just doesn't go with my pink sundress.

hmmm, perhaps I am wringing my hands to keep from throttling the idiot tsa jerk, or because I had too much caffeine before arriving here.