OMG I'm going to be thrown into the street!

[TorchTheWitch]

163. i never used gofundme then

There was something about it that made me nervous. I'd read some complaints people had made about not being given their money and some other stuff I don't recall... something about some uncomfortable terms you agreed to when signing up. In any case that time I just used paypal.

I've always been paranoid about using my real name anywhere on the internet. I have a rather unusual first name that makes me pretty easy to find. I've had two stalkers in my past one of whom took about four years to finally shake, but it's probably made me particularly paranoid about anything. Ever since then I've never felt at all safe without the big dog though even with one I think in the back of my mind I'm perpetually too wary.

Strangely enough I actually felt safe with this landlord for years. For a long time I thought she was great, and looking back she purposely worked at that. Now I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that she's female. I also had a landlord in my past (married guy, too) that terrified the shit out of me. Thank the gods I had the big dog then even though he was still not yet full grown. Kato saved me from him. As far as I know he's still in jail though I doubt it was because of that particular incident. I still haven't gone back to that town ever since. I actually thought I'd forgotten about him until very recently when the memory came back to haunt me because of the psycho landlord I have now that I had no clue was this batshit crazy until the harassment crap. I guess I dealt with the incident with that guy by not dealing with it. That was actually the place I rented to hide from the bad stalker. I ended up jumping from the frying pan into the fire though.

Damn, it's only been in the last week or so that I've so much as thought about any of this. I never did tell anyone about the violent guy landlord. It was pretty soon after I moved in, so in a lot of ways I'd not even really unpacked yet. I was really lucky then that I'd just gotten a good job I really liked at the time and had a home opportunity that popped up at pretty much the same time, so I packed back up and left. I just pushed all that away and went forward never even thinking about it again until about a week so ago when it came creeping back into my head.

I liked the place I moved to. Nice landlord, and I had the first floor of an old Victorian house for dirt cheap. Free heat in the winter, too. I even had a fireplace though I never used it. After about a year and half the landlord decided he had to sell the place though. Whoever bought it plowed it right down to the ground and built some really ugly squat house in it's place. They also cut down the two ancient huge oak trees and just plopped pots of nasty looking plastic flowers on the bare stumps. Hideous. If that landlord hadn't had to sell I'd likely still be there now.

OMG, I just realized that the inside of this place reminds me a bit of that old apartment! There's the same archway between the living and dining rooms, the same old radiators making strange gurgling noises that once you get used to are actually kind of comforting, the same kind of old decorative moldings that are a pain in the ass to dust and clean, etc. Maybe I was a bit drawn to this house because of it being a little reminiscent of that old apartment. Wow, that never once dawned on me before.

Cripes, I have to get Yoshi back inside and try to sleep again.