OMG I'm going to be thrown into the street!

[TorchTheWitch]

165. Yes, I asked. I BEGGED

For a long time I've not been particularly close to my siblings. For a number of years they've been doing family get togethers always scheduling them when they knew I couldn't go because I had to work and never giving enough notice so that I could rearrange my schedule. I've been feeling deliberately shut out for a long time. We all talk through email as a group about this and that, but even then I felt like I was being shut out... very seldom did anyone respond to anything I said or laughed at my jokes or funny photos, etc. I have no idea how this came about. Years ago I used to have REALLY long conversations with one of my brothers on the phone where we'd laugh about everything and nothing. Then somehow that just didn't happen anymore.

Still, the worst thing in all of this is that not a one of them cares a wit that I'm I hair away from being homeless. One of my brothers has not said a word. Another actually yelled at me on the phone for making him worry. My sister (who I've never gotten along with very well since she's just not a very nice person) told me her best advice was to put Yoshi in the car and drive as far south as I could because at least I wouldn't freeze to death living on the street. Another brother said he knew someone that might have advice about eviction proceedings since they did some kind of work with that. I asked him to find anything out for me that he could and let me know. He never responded and hasn't said a word since. The last brother I talked to on the phone who listened to my situation and helped a lot looking into various government resources that might help me. In hindsight I should have used that time to look for a job instead. Every one of them has been totally useless.

Never ever ever did I imagine my own family would abandon me. Last night I put out another distress call about this latest disaster with the hearing and the judge and what I found about about what this judgment meant, etc. The only response I got was from my sister saying that I was being rude mentioning that I'd never ever ever let a family member of mine be homeless. She also said that they've all been discussing me all this time none of which I knew anything about and basically comes down to their talking about me behind my back.

This is not the family I used to know, and I have no barking idea what the fuck happened. Ok, my sister was always a jerk, but I never would have expected this from my brothers. Actually, I never expected this from my sister either despite her being a jerk.

Christ, I have to push this part away or I'll never be able to salvage anything to keep clawing away. This blow from my own family already came very dangerously close to wiping me out. I can't let it. I've still got a few days for a miracle, and I have to focus everything on that or I'm finished.