General Discussion

TexasMommaWithAHat

(3,212 posts)

1. Every child handles adoption differently

Sat Apr 4, 2015, 05:05 PM

Apr 2015

A good friend of mine was adopted, and she truly is at peace with everything, while her brother (also adopted), has spent decades coming to terms with his adoption. Both have done and are doing what they think is right for themselves, although her brother was more comfortable discussing his feelings with his mother (who was ahead of her time on this issue, imo) than he ever was with his dad. The "adoptee loyalty" is a real issue.

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Dear Adoptive Parents: The Burden of Adoptee Loyalty [View all] me b zola Apr 2015 OP

Every child handles adoption differently TexasMommaWithAHat Apr 2015 #1

I doubt non adoptive children feel much different Egnever Apr 2015 #2

Well, you just summed it up... me b zola Apr 2015 #3

Upset me? Egnever Apr 2015 #4

Pretending that adoptee issues are no different from non-adoptees is harmful me b zola Apr 2015 #16

Unfortunately, some adoptees have inherited TexasMommaWithAHat Apr 2015 #25

^^^Your second paragraph^^^ Hekate Apr 2015 #35

interesting, thx for posting Mosby Apr 2015 #5

WTF? SomethingFishy Apr 2015 #6

Please do not insult my adoptive parents, they have done nothing to you me b zola Apr 2015 #7

Step back and pretend that it's not about the parents' egos. Gormy Cuss Apr 2015 #8

It's Possible RobinA Apr 2015 #43

I think the article is written from a painful perspective Gormy Cuss Apr 2015 #44

Happy to hear that you would never adopt me b zola Apr 2015 #52

My adopted kids are still teens TexasMommaWithAHat Apr 2015 #24

Far from a universal truth Somethingtosay Apr 2015 #9

I heart fairy tales me b zola Apr 2015 #10

I respect your experience Somethingtosay Apr 2015 #11

I feel special that your first post to DU was to my thread me b zola Apr 2015 #13

Oy Somethingtosay Apr 2015 #15

Welcome to DU. NOLALady Apr 2015 #27

23&me Somethingtosay Apr 2015 #29

Welcome to DU. Sincerely. Nuclear Unicorn Apr 2015 #31

Welcome to DU. I hope to see you around. Hekate Apr 2015 #36

Welcome to DU! Adrahil Apr 2015 #42

But couldn't self-selection be at work here? The adoptees who come to meetings pnwmom Apr 2015 #20

These were the bullies as I grew up, these fucking stooges me b zola Apr 2015 #21

What happened to you was evil. No child is an "it." And no child should ever pnwmom Apr 2015 #22

Your grandmother was hateful because she was Irish? Mariana Apr 2015 #30

yeah, that what I said me b zola Apr 2015 #32

This message was self-deleted by its author Hekate Apr 2015 #38

You carry around a lot of pain. TexasMommaWithAHat Apr 2015 #26

Welcome to DU, Somethingtosay! n/t pnwmom Apr 2015 #19

Thanks for the link to a passionate, thought-provoking essay. pnwmom Apr 2015 #12

Thank you for being a consistent voice for adoptees me b zola Apr 2015 #14

this article is too stupid to comment on. Invented syndrome. kwassa Apr 2015 #17

Please don't adopt...or if u do make sure its a puppy me b zola Apr 2015 #18

This sort of mean-spiritedness--not discussion of adoptee issues-- Heidi Apr 2015 #46

The views expressed in the article are FAR from universal, Heidi Apr 2015 #23

Honest to God, posting about adoptee issues is like an episode of Bill Mahers republican in a bubble me b zola Apr 2015 #28

I agree with you on many issues TexasMommaWithAHat Apr 2015 #37

Thank you for that very kind, experienced and reasoned post! Heidi Apr 2015 #47

Thank you. :) TexasMommaWithAHat Apr 2015 #48

Oh my, your hatred is showing me b zola Apr 2015 #51

I read and understood the article. Heidi Apr 2015 #53

she is describing her experience and projecting it onto every adoptee cali Apr 2015 #40

+ a whole bunch cali Apr 2015 #41

So, I guess being in foster care is far better for abandoned kids AnnieBW Apr 2015 #33

Apparently posting from an adoptee POV is the ultimate Rorschach test me b zola Apr 2015 #34

generalizing, particularly to this extent is pretty fucked up cali Apr 2015 #39

And daring to confront such a sweeping generalization Heidi Apr 2015 #45

"Loathsome" me b zola Apr 2015 #50

I am adopted and I think this article is right for some and wrong for others el_bryanto Apr 2015 #49