Dear Adoptive Parents: The Burden of Adoptee Loyalty

[me b zola]

13. I feel special that your first post to DU was to my thread

Your short message has so many land mines I don't know where to begin.

"My view". This article was written by another adoptee, not by me.

"Many of us" Well now, thats interesting. Do you speak with many adoptees on a regular basis, discussing adoption related issues? I do. I have never met an adoptee in real life who would object to this post/article. Out of all of the many reasons why I do not believe you are who you say you are, it is this. There are thousands of adoptees on line that support each other and work for equal access to our birth records. Are there some Stepford adoptee meetings that I have not received the invite to? Even growing up with other kids who were too frightened to talk about it, they never once said "hey my adopters are amazing and so is everything about my life" .N0t ever. Not once.

"Its not a fairy tale" So what part of this authors POV do you disagree with...and why? What the author has described is pretty much what I have come to call "The Big Hush". All the realities of adoption and being adopted that are not to be spoken of, because as soon as we do~BAM~!!!! This is why so many adoptees don't speak up, that and the most basic fear of losing the only family that you know.

Good God, its like the Emperor and his new clothes.