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me b zola

(19,053 posts)

14. Thank you for being a consistent voice for adoptees

Reply to pnwmom (Reply #12)

Sat Apr 4, 2015, 10:47 PM

Apr 2015

I think that sometimes we become so enamored with an institution that when ever someone questions it that person becomes suspect. It really reminds me a lot of people saying that they do not like cops shooting unarmed citizens and the response from some is "why do you hate the police?". Stating that adopted people would like to see changes in the institution of adoption is not an attack on our adoptive parents. It means that we were born into a legal agreement without our permission and we as individuals have something to say about that.

Many families, adopted or natural, have challenges that in the best of circumstances they must meet head on to ensure that the family has its best chance at health and possibility. It doesn't even make sense to me to adopt a child and then refuse to recognize that they have needs that are unique to them. How can anyone adopt and not confront the fact that that child doesn't want to celebrate their "forever home" when they have just lost everything.

Thank you for listening, it really means a lot to me. ~j~

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Highlight:

Dear Adoptive Parents: The Burden of Adoptee Loyalty [View all] me b zola Apr 2015 OP

Every child handles adoption differently TexasMommaWithAHat Apr 2015 #1

I doubt non adoptive children feel much different Egnever Apr 2015 #2

Well, you just summed it up... me b zola Apr 2015 #3

Upset me? Egnever Apr 2015 #4

Pretending that adoptee issues are no different from non-adoptees is harmful me b zola Apr 2015 #16

Unfortunately, some adoptees have inherited TexasMommaWithAHat Apr 2015 #25

^^^Your second paragraph^^^ Hekate Apr 2015 #35

interesting, thx for posting Mosby Apr 2015 #5

WTF? SomethingFishy Apr 2015 #6

Please do not insult my adoptive parents, they have done nothing to you me b zola Apr 2015 #7

Step back and pretend that it's not about the parents' egos. Gormy Cuss Apr 2015 #8

It's Possible RobinA Apr 2015 #43

I think the article is written from a painful perspective Gormy Cuss Apr 2015 #44

Happy to hear that you would never adopt me b zola Apr 2015 #52

My adopted kids are still teens TexasMommaWithAHat Apr 2015 #24

Far from a universal truth Somethingtosay Apr 2015 #9

I heart fairy tales me b zola Apr 2015 #10

I respect your experience Somethingtosay Apr 2015 #11

I feel special that your first post to DU was to my thread me b zola Apr 2015 #13

Oy Somethingtosay Apr 2015 #15

Welcome to DU. NOLALady Apr 2015 #27

23&me Somethingtosay Apr 2015 #29

Welcome to DU. Sincerely. Nuclear Unicorn Apr 2015 #31

Welcome to DU. I hope to see you around. Hekate Apr 2015 #36

Welcome to DU! Adrahil Apr 2015 #42

But couldn't self-selection be at work here? The adoptees who come to meetings pnwmom Apr 2015 #20

These were the bullies as I grew up, these fucking stooges me b zola Apr 2015 #21

What happened to you was evil. No child is an "it." And no child should ever pnwmom Apr 2015 #22

Your grandmother was hateful because she was Irish? Mariana Apr 2015 #30

yeah, that what I said me b zola Apr 2015 #32

This message was self-deleted by its author Hekate Apr 2015 #38

You carry around a lot of pain. TexasMommaWithAHat Apr 2015 #26

Welcome to DU, Somethingtosay! n/t pnwmom Apr 2015 #19

Thanks for the link to a passionate, thought-provoking essay. pnwmom Apr 2015 #12

Thank you for being a consistent voice for adoptees me b zola Apr 2015 #14

this article is too stupid to comment on. Invented syndrome. kwassa Apr 2015 #17

Please don't adopt...or if u do make sure its a puppy me b zola Apr 2015 #18

This sort of mean-spiritedness--not discussion of adoptee issues-- Heidi Apr 2015 #46

The views expressed in the article are FAR from universal, Heidi Apr 2015 #23

Honest to God, posting about adoptee issues is like an episode of Bill Mahers republican in a bubble me b zola Apr 2015 #28

I agree with you on many issues TexasMommaWithAHat Apr 2015 #37

Thank you for that very kind, experienced and reasoned post! Heidi Apr 2015 #47

Thank you. :) TexasMommaWithAHat Apr 2015 #48

Oh my, your hatred is showing me b zola Apr 2015 #51

I read and understood the article. Heidi Apr 2015 #53

she is describing her experience and projecting it onto every adoptee cali Apr 2015 #40

+ a whole bunch cali Apr 2015 #41

So, I guess being in foster care is far better for abandoned kids AnnieBW Apr 2015 #33

Apparently posting from an adoptee POV is the ultimate Rorschach test me b zola Apr 2015 #34

generalizing, particularly to this extent is pretty fucked up cali Apr 2015 #39

And daring to confront such a sweeping generalization Heidi Apr 2015 #45

"Loathsome" me b zola Apr 2015 #50

I am adopted and I think this article is right for some and wrong for others el_bryanto Apr 2015 #49