Dear Adoptive Parents: The Burden of Adoptee Loyalty

[Somethingtosay]

15. Oy

1. This is my first post on DU, but I've followed GD and the lounge for a few years now. I was moved to post based on the content that you shared, which I feel inappropriately attempts to inform others that there is a sense of loss or otherness experienced by most adoptees - this has not been my experience, or that of my siblings or friends who are adopted - and there are a lot of us out there that were born in the 60's. I addressed it as your view based on some of your previous posts and the lack of commentary you provided.

All that being said, I have absolutely no issue with birth records being open if both parties agree. I would not like either of my birth parents to be able to blindly show up one day without my consent. While there is absolutely medical info I would like to know, I've been able to piece some of that together with genetic services such as 23&me before the FDA closed down that part of their genome business. These services also can allow you to find genetic family if someone is interested - for all the concerns about privacy that exist, at some point it's all moot with the use of Genome companies and their databanks of matching individuals.

Finally, as I have said before, I don't doubt your experience. I just don't feel people out of the adoptee experience should assume that the voice of the articles author speaks for all, or even a majority. Interest groups with mutual goals draw in those who have similar philosophies (example - DU). Adoptees who don't have the same desires as the groups you mention do not Facebook pages etc - why would we? Being adopted is just an interesting fact I know about myself - and a bit that I am thankful for every day. YMMV. Have a blessed holiday, and best wishes,for you to find the family connections you wish for.