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cynatnite

(31,011 posts)

68. You think that is all there is to it?

Reply to Odin2005 (Reply #62)

Fri May 4, 2012, 09:03 PM

May 2012

The wealthy do, it turns out. And the poor, and the middle class. Parents of all ages and ethnicities do it. Mothers are just as likely to do it as fathers. It happens to the chronically absent-minded and to the fanatically organized, to the college-educated and to the marginally literate. In the last 10 years, it has happened to a dentist. A postal clerk. A social worker. A police officer. An accountant. A soldier. A paralegal. An electrician. A Protestant clergyman. A rabbinical student. A nurse. A construction worker. An assistant principal. It happened to a mental health counselor, a college professor and a pizza chef. It happened to a pediatrician. It happened to a rocket scientist.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/27/AR2009022701549_2.html?sid=ST2009030602446

This was almost me and I consider myself to be a very good parent with a decent intelligence. Over 20 years ago I forgot my daughter in her carseat. In my mind, she was already at daycare. When I got out of the car, I happened to glance at the back and there she was as quiet as could be. It's a tragic accident and it happens.

Read the entire article and it will explain how this kind of thing can happen to even the best of parents.

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Baby died after mom left in SUV while at work [View all] proud2BlibKansan May 2012 OP

I still don't get how you can forget your baby in the car or your dog or parakeet cali May 2012 #1

I don't get it either. proud2BlibKansan May 2012 #3

It's comforting to us to blame the parents.. Fumesucker May 2012 #15

These threads are always so damn ugly. trotsky May 2012 #19

Just so ridiculous. Do people who post shit like that on forums EVER do any kind of Iris May 2012 #83

This sounds like what happened with me... cynatnite May 2012 #22

It is so brave of you to post this. Iris May 2012 #94

I have twice driven past daycare on my way to work, with two of my boys in the back seat. Skinner May 2012 #121

I did it--I posted about it in post #131. nt msanthrope May 2012 #133

When my kids were little, my dad used to tell me proud2BlibKansan May 2012 #134

Things happen Worried senior May 2012 #139

It's very important that you've posted this here. sibelian May 2012 #170

The parent is to blame 4th law of robotics May 2012 #23

How can you punish them worse than the punishment they will live for the rest of their lives with? Fumesucker May 2012 #26

I never said she should go to jail 4th law of robotics May 2012 #27

It could never happen to you, right? Fumesucker May 2012 #29

Well, yeah 4th law of robotics May 2012 #32

Because it is that simple...you just forget... cynatnite May 2012 #39

Interesting how the article predicts so accurately some people's reactions.. Fumesucker May 2012 #41

I can accurately predict how most people will respond to a variety of stories 4th law of robotics May 2012 #45

So you think it could never happen to you.. Fumesucker May 2012 #50

You keep saying that "so you think it could never happen to you" 4th law of robotics May 2012 #51

As I said in my first post, you have a psychological need to see these parents as different from you Fumesucker May 2012 #54

I see a lot of people as different from me 4th law of robotics May 2012 #90

A deliberate act is not the same thing as an error, a mistake.. Fumesucker May 2012 #102

" I can easily envision a scenario . . . " 4th law of robotics May 2012 #135

You do not have complete control over your memory unless Susan Calvin really was your designer.. Fumesucker May 2012 #152

In many areas, whether or not liberalhistorian May 2012 #110

As far as our memory is concerned it is no different than forgetting your wallet.. Fumesucker May 2012 #40

One would think a child would be more significant 4th law of robotics May 2012 #44

No one is saying a child is equivilant to a wallet... cynatnite May 2012 #49

Here's someone it happened to talking about the experience.. Fumesucker May 2012 #52

Denial. Iris May 2012 #84

Trust me...she knows... cynatnite May 2012 #30

indeed... n/t ProdigalJunkMail May 2012 #37

Tell that to the baby tabasco May 2012 #24

None of us are perfect.. Fumesucker May 2012 #28

Perfect is a long fucking way tabasco May 2012 #34

In other words it you think it could never happen to you.. Fumesucker May 2012 #38

I'm impressed with your calm and persistent responses here. yardwork May 2012 #104

I forgot my daughter... cynatnite May 2012 #35

Which posters are laughing at this??? obamanut2012 May 2012 #56

Nobody is laughing. yardwork May 2012 #103

Every single one of these parents thought they could NEVER do this obamanut2012 May 2012 #55

Comparing childen to cell phones is idiotic. Odin2005 May 2012 #65

Tell it to the cognitive science researchers.. Fumesucker May 2012 #66

A culpable person defends himself! tabasco May 2012 #72

Our conscious mind uses our memory as a tool but it doesn't control it completely. Fumesucker May 2012 #77

Well if it didn't convince you the first time, mythology May 2012 #120

The sparing use of emoticons showed the poster was a really serious person. Fumesucker May 2012 #158

Thanks for posting that, Fumesucker. I immediately thought of Gene Weingarten's articles. CBHagman May 2012 #79

I hadn't seen that before. Fumesucker May 2012 #81

I do. I am a parent. I can imagine this happening. It never happened to me, but it could happen. yardwork May 2012 #100

I'm also a parent. I never, no matter how harried I was cali May 2012 #141

i get it. i had the baby almost exclusively. it was as natural as anything for me seabeyond May 2012 #181

Poor thing. :( dkf May 2012 #2

It almost happened to me... cynatnite May 2012 #4

I'm a space cadet. proud2BlibKansan May 2012 #8

Both my husband and I were working full time and attending college... cynatnite May 2012 #13

And who hasn't done something on autopilot before? Iris May 2012 #92

I can tell that you are still so horrified by what happened Number23 May 2012 #73

" I can't explain how I could have forgotten my baby girl" i think probably if honest seabeyond May 2012 #182

BRING CAR SEATS BACK TO THE FRONT SEAT! This never happened till they are forced to be in Lionessa May 2012 #5

Front seats are more dangerous... cynatnite May 2012 #6

Airbags can be turned off. Car seats designed for front seat safety. Lionessa May 2012 #31

Even without airbags ... surrealAmerican May 2012 #58

it is still possible to compare deaths via each mode and select the optimum route. JVS May 2012 #113

How about putting the diaper bag or something the child needs in the front seat? proud2BlibKansan May 2012 #9

That is a very good idea. Jamastiene May 2012 #20

Excellent counter idea. That would work. Let's spread it around, clearly it's needed since Lionessa May 2012 #25

Another possibility for new cars - have an alarm go off if too much weight in the child seat spot MH1 May 2012 #67

Perfect idea for this issue, but still it is really hard to do the Lionessa May 2012 #97

I took off one shoe. It reminded me when I put it on that I needed to remember something. Luminous Animal May 2012 #87

That's a good idea laundry_queen May 2012 #157

Then they get killed by the airbag. LeftyMom May 2012 #33

Airbags can be turned off these days. Didn't you know? Lionessa May 2012 #36

Generally only vehicles with no back seat have that feature. LeftyMom May 2012 #48

My daughter's 4 door Honda has a switch, not a permanent disable of the bag. Lionessa May 2012 #53

That's unusual. Most cars don't, and the LATCH anchors are generally only in back. LeftyMom May 2012 #57

My point is to re-design rather than continue with BS reasons to keep them in the back, fix it. Lionessa May 2012 #59

The back seat is still safer because it's the farthest point from the point of impact. LeftyMom May 2012 #63

It isn't safer when it makes the driver less safe in his/her actions trying to tend Lionessa May 2012 #101

The data on the matter don't reflect your view. LeftyMom May 2012 #107

My Prius automatically disables the front airbag if a certain weight range is in the front seat. MH1 May 2012 #69

A lot of cars do that. proud2BlibKansan May 2012 #71

That's too big for an infant seat, LeftyMom May 2012 #75

Mine go off automatically proud2BlibKansan May 2012 #76

I'm praying for this family... dhood8083 May 2012 #7

+1 obamanut2012 May 2012 #18

a tragedy riverwalker May 2012 #10

sad. Liberal_in_LA May 2012 #11

omg how tragic. Whisp May 2012 #12

This happens every year, and is just so sad obamanut2012 May 2012 #14

This message was self-deleted by its author LASlibinSC May 2012 #16

Sadly it does happen LASlibinSC May 2012 #17

Such a sad thing. I worry about my Riley18 May 2012 #21

that is really a fantastic idea! renate May 2012 #42

I've read articles where they recommend leaving your cellphone in the car seat 4th law of robotics May 2012 #46

As a society I think we need to warn more people away from parenting instead of idealizing it. LeftyMom May 2012 #43

Actually, I think we need to be more supportive of parents... cynatnite May 2012 #47

You and LeftyMom are BOTH right obamanut2012 May 2012 #60

And let's not forget a case where the entire family forgot the child. CBHagman May 2012 #88

So, only the superhuman should procreate? Iris May 2012 #85

Clearly only the superhuman are capable of not killing their kids through neglect 4th law of robotics May 2012 #89

Have you read any of the posts here that are outside your filter bubble? Iris May 2012 #91

Yeah there really haven't been any legitimate studies posted 4th law of robotics May 2012 #93

Have you ever experienced doing something on autopilot? Iris May 2012 #96

You and I must define "horrible parent" differently 4th law of robotics May 2012 #137

You are still convinced it could never happen to you.. Fumesucker May 2012 #165

Pure conjecture 4th law of robotics May 2012 #174

It is either perfection or luck.. Fumesucker May 2012 #175

"You might as well say that you'll never get hit by lightning." 4th law of robotics May 2012 #176

Where did I say it's sheer chance that parents don't murder their kids? Fumesucker May 2012 #179

You keep making the comparison to things like brakes going out or lightning 4th law of robotics May 2012 #184

It is a chance event, that's what you fail to understand.. Fumesucker May 2012 #185

Yes. Only Superman can keep track of where his kid is. LeftyMom May 2012 #106

Pretty simplistic answer to a very complex problem. Iris May 2012 #109

It's really not that complicated. LeftyMom May 2012 #111

You know, clearly it is b/c no one can predict what every day of the next 18-20 years will be like Iris May 2012 #112

+1 4th law of robotics May 2012 #138

Absolutely! Marengo May 2012 #126

How do you know if you can cope with the stresses before you have a child? uppityperson May 2012 #154

Summer season. I was actually hoping this year we'd get by without any of these terrible stories riderinthestorm May 2012 #61

A good friend of ours ran over his friend's kid proud2BlibKansan May 2012 #70

I know. Gawd, I know. If my 14 yr old hadn't shouted loud enough, that would've been me. riderinthestorm May 2012 #74

I've noticed PSA's about this phenomenon this year. Iris May 2012 #86

Some people are too fucking stupid to be parents. Odin2005 May 2012 #62

You think that is all there is to it? cynatnite May 2012 #68

Read this Pulitzer prize winning article if you want to understand how it could happen. undeterred May 2012 #64

Thank you for posting this Number23 May 2012 #78

Reading it really does give you an explanation. undeterred May 2012 #118

Thankyou for this article. Vanje May 2012 #80

Similar to the time before sensors when people backed over their children in driveways Iris May 2012 #82

It was really quite hot here yesterday, and I thought, phylny May 2012 #95

That's actually an excellent solution. Iris May 2012 #98

There had ben talk of weight sensor alarms in car seats to prevent this. FedUpWithIt All May 2012 #99

Excellent post. Iris May 2012 #108

Public awareness and education are the keys to preventing this kind of tragedy DesertRat May 2012 #105

There is no justifying this shit SixString May 2012 #114

BINGO!! B Calm May 2012 #115

Yup, exactly the same thing obamanut2012 May 2012 #123

Here's someone it *almost* happened to, his child was saved by a quirk of fate.. Fumesucker May 2012 #116

You either don't want to understand this or can't obamanut2012 May 2012 #122

I understand it perfectly. SixString May 2012 #125

You are confusing "excuse" and "justifying" with "explaining" uppityperson May 2012 #155

Well, SixString May 2012 #160

Read this to understand how it happens. undeterred May 2012 #143

It appears you decided to ignore the article. sibelian May 2012 #171

For the people judging this woman Dorian Gray May 2012 #117

Yep. Union Scribe May 2012 #166

How hard would it be to program the car... B2G May 2012 #119

That's an excellent idea obamanut2012 May 2012 #124

The seatbelt is latched to the car seat. proud2BlibKansan May 2012 #130

Hmm...true. Perhaps a weight sensor in the carseats B2G May 2012 #142

Sounds good to me. proud2BlibKansan May 2012 #145

The more I think about it... B2G May 2012 #144

I just put the diaper bag in the front seat proud2BlibKansan May 2012 #146

To the people in this thread who are pointing the finger: Skinner May 2012 #127

This article really opened my eyes. Several have linked it in this thread: proud2BlibKansan May 2012 #132

Maybe this thread can help remind people to take that extra second to glance at the back seat... cynatnite May 2012 #147

retro-active darwinism... OneTenthofOnePercent May 2012 #128

That is really a distasteful post obamanut2012 May 2012 #153

Don't blame Charles Darwin for your personal, distasteful viewpoints. nt msanthrope May 2012 #169

I don't think that's terribly insightful. sibelian May 2012 #172

We expect working parents to show up for work and focus exclusively hedgehog May 2012 #129

I left my kid in the car. And I DEFY any poster on this board who would DARE blame me. msanthrope May 2012 #131

You left your kid in the car for 5 minutes Rex May 2012 #149

Forgetting your child does not = forgetting your child? uppityperson May 2012 #156

Oh I agree it is the same, but the results are different. Rex May 2012 #161

But do you understand how easily I could have been walking into work, or into something else msanthrope May 2012 #168

Yes yes I do understand. Rex May 2012 #183

How long ago did this happen? Number23 May 2012 #162

9 years ago. I still get a tremor thinking about it. The people who don't 'get' this msanthrope May 2012 #167

Absolutely. Minds can be made to fail by stress. sibelian May 2012 #173

Someone needs to invent a motion detector/alarm inside automobiles, after being turned off. tawadi May 2012 #136

Sometimes good people make mistakes that have tragic consequences varelse May 2012 #140

Yes, the mother is experiencing things I shudder to Rex May 2012 #150

This. n/t lumberjack_jeff May 2012 #178

How do you forget another lifeform a few feet away from you? Rex May 2012 #148

It happens 25 times every year in this country proud2BlibKansan May 2012 #151

Easy to see how this could happen. gulliver May 2012 #159

I have forgotten many things in my car. Beacool May 2012 #163

Often it seems they skip going to child care and leave the kid in the back when they park at work.. Fumesucker May 2012 #164

I'm not standing in judgment. Beacool May 2012 #180

This is a horrible, just horrible tragedy... tallahasseedem May 2012 #177