General Discussion

Egnever

(21,506 posts)

44. The difference is willingness

Wed Apr 8, 2015, 10:57 PM

Apr 2015

This guy was never unwilling and still isn't.

We can certainly make broad judgements about when is an appropriate age to consent to sexual relationships but that does not really mean that some aren't ready before we deem it acceptable.

Here we have age restrictions on drinking other countries don't most evidence says the countries without age restrictions have less alcohol abuse. Does that mean our age restrictions are right?

I find her actions at the time wholly inappropriate and I certainly think the laws preventing such behavior are appropriate. However in this one instance I think the law got it wrong. I don't see how it could have rendered any other judgement but clearly nothing good came of it as they are together today and all that seemed to have been accomplished is hardship for two people who wanted to be together.

I don't know all the details but considering his young age at the time she was sent to jail I would be willing to bet the depression and drug abuse started after the law got involved not before.

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Marriage tips from a rapist, on ABC [View all] BainsBane Apr 2015 OP

wow marym625 Apr 2015 #1

Oh fuck you ABC. NuclearDem Apr 2015 #2

Said what I was thinking. nt F4lconF16 Apr 2015 #4

They better not let her anywhere near a classroom. BainsBane Apr 2015 #10

Why would any school hire a teacher who raped one of her students? In_The_Wind Apr 2015 #108

ABC just cares about a decent ratings number Blue_Tires Apr 2015 #174

How could that even possibly be legal? JTFrog Apr 2015 #183

Walters sure knows how to serve up shit. nt valerief Apr 2015 #3

I imagine he thinks the system failed him because they prosecuted Letourneau against his wishes Warpy Apr 2015 #5

Anything for ratings, I guess. BainsBane Apr 2015 #9

I don't think he can ever be detached enough to have perspective Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #60

I might agree if I hadn't met Holden Caulfield. Warpy Apr 2015 #165

Nope.Sorry not this time. - Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #168

No way in hell is she a pedophile eridani Apr 2015 #205

Pedophiles have sex with and marry and have children. Some even have sex with their own children. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #209

Just like gay people marry opposite sex partners eridani Apr 2015 #211

What? She should have carded her student? JTFrog Apr 2015 #184

Try reading what I actually wrote Warpy Apr 2015 #187

Oh I read the post. JTFrog Apr 2015 #188

Life is messier than you think it is Warpy Apr 2015 #189

Rape is rape. JTFrog Apr 2015 #190

Rape apology is rape enabling. KitSileya Apr 2015 #192

Yes the daughters definately need peace vankuria Apr 2015 #200

The pathology is more than a bit thick here. n/t Jefferson23 Apr 2015 #6

Eewww, eeewwww, eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww, eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3catwoman3 Apr 2015 #7

A 34-year adult does not "have an affair with" a 13-year old child. Nye Bevan Apr 2015 #8

Apparently they did and got married. RiffRandell Apr 2015 #47

And you haven't heard of Stockholm syndrome, I take it? KitSileya Apr 2015 #71

I'm going to knock you over with a feather JustAnotherGen Apr 2015 #85

Her defense counsel at the time said he was exceptionally 'well-developed' for his age. Surya Gayatri Apr 2015 #141

and that has fuckall to do with it. Men use that same excuse all the time. Still does nothing to Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #154

Tuesday, I totally agree with you. Did you see the 'evil grin' Surya Gayatri Apr 2015 #156

Sorry. I misunderstood your use of emoticons. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #159

No, the popcorn was just in anticipation of some similarly Surya Gayatri Apr 2015 #162

cool - see you around and thanks for the cave OP. I rec'd that one Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #163

My pleasure! Surya Gayatri Apr 2015 #164

I think you diminish the word rapist. Egnever Apr 2015 #11

Under the age of consent. He was raped. NuclearDem Apr 2015 #13

According to the law Egnever Apr 2015 #14

Wow. NuclearDem Apr 2015 #15

children cannot consent to sex BainsBane Apr 2015 #19

Sorry I dissagree Egnever Apr 2015 #30

Would you consider it *rape* rape for a 30+ male teacher and 13 year old student? n/t lumberjack_jeff Apr 2015 #34

In 99% of all instances male or female I would Egnever Apr 2015 #37

Holy Shit. n/t Aerows Apr 2015 #82

He was 12 BainsBane Apr 2015 #39

Well that is another ridiculous post. Egnever Apr 2015 #41

There is a difference between his choice as an adult BainsBane Apr 2015 #43

Post removed Post removed Apr 2015 #45

You insisted her rape of a 12 yr old wasn't really rape BainsBane Apr 2015 #48

trust me. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #58

Not to push any buttons, but it's just sex. There was no pain or violence inflicted except at the underahedgerow Apr 2015 #66

Rape isn't sex BainsBane Apr 2015 #69

you think depression and alcoholism aren't painful ... ?! Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #70

ALERTER'S COMMENTS Douglas Carpenter Apr 2015 #76

I was just going to add these to my reply #73 KitSileya Apr 2015 #81

I hope he stays under that hedgerow.. PassingFair Apr 2015 #91

Juror #3 must be a Repuke. Starry Messenger Apr 2015 #95

I want it on record that I agree with Juror #1. eom. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #119

At least one rape apologist on the jury, too. Heidi Apr 2015 #175

I did NOT just read this here. NuclearDem Apr 2015 #114

Some people just like to hear themselves NAMBLA Nuclear Unicorn Apr 2015 #167

A twelve year old kid getting pregnant by her teacher is fine with you then? No big deal? bettyellen Apr 2015 #115

Said every pedo ever XemaSab Apr 2015 #139

Just sex? vankuria Apr 2015 #203

not different from golf? treestar Apr 2015 #212

She was grooming him for several years prior. ismnotwasm Apr 2015 #202

Precisely TubbersUK Apr 2015 #181

A 13 year old friend is quite a different matter than a 34 year old teacher Scootaloo Apr 2015 #54

I get that Egnever Apr 2015 #62

Sex without consent is rape. Scootaloo Apr 2015 #80

The reason you don't know how you would feel about it, is that adults around you acted responsibly. PassingFair Apr 2015 #92

Post removed Post removed Apr 2015 #84

You wrote: "at that age I would have jumped at the chance" Heidi Apr 2015 #75

Exactly! I wonder if they would also support giving 12-year olds KitSileya Apr 2015 #78

Of course Egnever Apr 2015 #79

^this^ Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #124

The power dynamics intrinsic to this instance, RedCappedBandit Apr 2015 #94

Exactly! Heidi Apr 2015 #173

A 13 year old isn't legally capable of consenting mythology Apr 2015 #25

and yet after being apart from him for the 6 years she was in prison Egnever Apr 2015 #31

He was 12 BainsBane Apr 2015 #40

I think the better explanation is: Children can't give legally effective consent to sex. Jim Lane Apr 2015 #51

I agree with that completely. Egnever Apr 2015 #52

It doesn't diminish rape to recognize that there are different kinds. Jim Lane Apr 2015 #89

Amazing how he gets older in each retelling BainsBane Apr 2015 #132

I stand corrected on the immaterial detail. Jim Lane Apr 2015 #148

Your point was the child consented BainsBane Apr 2015 #155

You're completely ignoring the different meanings of "consent" Jim Lane Apr 2015 #166

fair enough BainsBane Apr 2015 #171

Agreed. In the US-think context it sounds like she did a terrible, horrible violent thing because underahedgerow Apr 2015 #63

Completely disingenous to call this love sub.theory Apr 2015 #64

The power disparity is a problem get the red out Apr 2015 #104

You are a rape apologist. Shame on you! KitSileya Apr 2015 #73

No doubt many rapists rationalize it precisely the same way... LanternWaste Apr 2015 #194

I was in the minority on this alerted post... boston bean Apr 2015 #88

Looks like DU has finally embraced members of the "Legitimate Rape" club. LanternWaste Apr 2015 #196

wtf is wrong with those jurors? treestar Apr 2015 #213

What then do you believe the precise and relevant age of consent should be? LanternWaste Apr 2015 #150

she said she first noticed him when he was about 8 Liberal_in_LA Apr 2015 #16

Holy shit! Arugula Latte Apr 2015 #20

UGH - one of the grossest things I've ever heard! bullwinkle428 Apr 2015 #38

Jesus. Starry Messenger Apr 2015 #105

I hope they revoked her teaching license. Emelina Apr 2015 #177

She was convicted and served prison time for rape BainsBane Apr 2015 #18

I usually like your posts but today, everything's off. Number23 Apr 2015 #24

Bingo. nt cyberswede Apr 2015 #26

Really? Egnever Apr 2015 #33

if she loved him why didn't she wait until he was of legal age ? JI7 Apr 2015 #49

I have no way of knowing that. Egnever Apr 2015 #53

This is not about "ick" this is about the law. And it's really that simple Number23 Apr 2015 #59

Agree with the others sub.theory Apr 2015 #32

I have no problem with the disagreement. Egnever Apr 2015 #36

I don't see how that changes anything sub.theory Apr 2015 #42

The difference is willingness Egnever Apr 2015 #44

Does it excuse beating a woman if she marries him? It's ok then? sub.theory Apr 2015 #46

Of course not Egnever Apr 2015 #55

I know you don't support domestic violence sub.theory Apr 2015 #61

"Rape is a horrific crime that causes lifelong scars" Egnever Apr 2015 #67

12 year olds cannot consent! Texasgal Apr 2015 #169

Apparently, to several people in this thread, it is difficult to comprehend. KitSileya Apr 2015 #182

She's a rapist, nothing less. NaturalHigh Apr 2015 #107

Add pedophile... boston bean Apr 2015 #110

A lot of pedophiles "love" their victims and believe they have the victim's best interests in mind XemaSab Apr 2015 #147

Read all your comments. Don't understand how you can say these things about 12-13 year old kid. stevenleser Apr 2015 #157

We need another word. 1939 Apr 2015 #201

So horrible. :( Starry Messenger Apr 2015 #12

I just read the full entry. That explains a lot about her behavior. nt okaawhatever Apr 2015 #22

As pro feminist as i am i can't resist saying, if Mary were a man she'd not get this star treatment, alp227 Apr 2015 #17

I'm afraid you're right BainsBane Apr 2015 #23

+1 n/t lumberjack_jeff Apr 2015 #35

Indeed. Like Elvis Presley, Mick Jagger, Chuck Berry, Roman Polanski. None got the star treatment. Luminous Animal Apr 2015 #65

They weren't teachers. To be more clear... alp227 Apr 2015 #68

lets see, there is the calif soccor coach. 16 yr old laying on coach. what was he to do, after all? seabeyond Apr 2015 #136

I don't recall Mick Jagger being accused of rape. PassingFair Apr 2015 #97

ya. oh oh.... let me see, the repug dude that sings like a song. nugent. i hear ya. nt seabeyond Apr 2015 #135

polanski, woody allen? they are pretty coddled, today in our media. steubenville rapists? florida QB seabeyond Apr 2015 #133

as a feminist on du, i cannot tell you the number of times i have explained laws protecting our seabeyond Apr 2015 #138

It would be nice if ABC would realize that time does not diminish how horrendous her actions were. ScreamingMeemie Apr 2015 #21

there are many who never viewed what happened as horrendous JI7 Apr 2015 #50

Gross. nt cyberswede Apr 2015 #27

Yuck. Walters has gone full-on tabloid. The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2015 #28

Babara Walters should be ashamed for this. Jenoch Apr 2015 #29

^ for real. ^ is she senile or what. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #57

I don't think she's senile. Jenoch Apr 2015 #134

she couldn't find some other angle from which to approach this subject matter? Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #142

I thought the subject was a teacher Jenoch Apr 2015 #146

Looks to me like a pedophile who raped a boy and went on to watch him Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #149

Rethink what? Jenoch Apr 2015 #178

Statutory rape? Certainly. It's also clear that they've been in love with each other from eridani Apr 2015 #56

more like Stockholm Syndrome. eom Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #72

For ten years? That's ridiculous. n/t eridani Apr 2015 #77

no, it isn't. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #87

"... and Vili Fualaau never had the chance to be." ScreamingMeemie Apr 2015 #93

Yep... never had the chance to be. demmiblue Apr 2015 #98

thanks Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #99

it sickens me, too - ScreamingMeemie. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #100

In some cases it's a double standard BainsBane Apr 2015 #170

equally gross. but, not surprising. actually, surprised haven't seen more defense of it that way on Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #172

Well said - thanks TubbersUK Apr 2015 #185

2nd 4Q2u2 Apr 2015 #106

THIS NuclearDem Apr 2015 #112

If she were a real pedophile, she would cease being attracted to him once he eridani Apr 2015 #206

because Pedophiles never marry, never have children? This is your logic? Please, Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #208

Pedophiles are attracted to kids, never to adults eridani Apr 2015 #210

Actually that's not true BainsBane Apr 2015 #214

"An" 8 year old boy--no. Only 8 year olds plus or minus a few years=pedophile eridani Apr 2015 #216

When he was only eight years old? Or are you referring to a more ethically convenient start? LanternWaste Apr 2015 #191

did you know that Mary Kay Letourneau Fualaau is the daugher of Orange Country Congressman Douglas Carpenter Apr 2015 #74

Don't forget her brothers . . . JustAnotherGen Apr 2015 #86

One of them was on the Board of Bayer underpants Apr 2015 #128

I am so glad I do not watch this pollution still_one Apr 2015 #83

Though we tangle often here, I thank you for posting this. Abominable closeupready Apr 2015 #90

Shame on ABC/Walters (as well as certain posters). demmiblue Apr 2015 #96

She's a filthy pig from hell JustAnotherGen Apr 2015 #101

I have never thought of BW as any thing other than a name-dropping fool. ScreamingMeemie Apr 2015 #103

I lost a lot of respect for her when Liz Smith said Babs dropped her as a friend when Liz got fired. Red State Rebel Apr 2015 #197

Wow... I didn't know that. ScreamingMeemie Apr 2015 #199

Wow gollygee Apr 2015 #102

How to be a pedophile and basically get away with it?? boston bean Apr 2015 #109

conditioning society to accept, even defend. truly. seabeyond Apr 2015 #117

She did six years in prison. Is that what you mean by "get away with it"? Comrade Grumpy Apr 2015 #158

yes, that is exactly what I mean. boston bean Apr 2015 #160

just sex. if you do not think an adult has incredible power over a child, perverting their sexuality seabeyond Apr 2015 #111

The title of your post should read "Marriage tips from a pedophile rapist" nt boston bean Apr 2015 #113

i really, did not think it would be necessarily to participate in this thread, with the obvious. seabeyond Apr 2015 #116

What I am reading here in this thread in support of her is what you can read in NAMBLA. boston bean Apr 2015 #118

you know. over sentence the man who raped the three yr old, only to find the judge also blamed a 13 seabeyond Apr 2015 #120

I also alerted on the jury results. KitSileya Apr 2015 #121

see the jury results I alerted to admin on in post # 88.. boston bean Apr 2015 #123

oops, no, I alerted on the one I was on the jury for, the alert on post #66 KitSileya Apr 2015 #161

News desk complaint form msanthrope Apr 2015 #122

This message was self-deleted by its author seabeyond Apr 2015 #126

sorry, i put mine in the wrong place. i really have this one on my mind, and it is so associated seabeyond Apr 2015 #127

Thanks for that BainsBane Apr 2015 #130

complaint sent. sorry forgot to copy and paste but I - Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #137

Complaint Sent sub.theory Apr 2015 #195

It's weird...they don't look that different in age. B2G Apr 2015 #125

that picture: 2005. rape 1996: a 12 yr old child next to the adult. more realistic and honest. nt seabeyond Apr 2015 #131

I'm just making an observation B2G Apr 2015 #143

I haven't seen wa-wa in a while- did somebody smoosh her face? snooper2 Apr 2015 #179

Lol. I thought she retired a few years ago. nt B2G Apr 2015 #180

Hell, I want to see a picture of when he was eight and she was 30. side by side. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #144

eeew. eeeeew. it is not against the law for two people over 18, regardless of the age spread. seabeyond Apr 2015 #145

truly, looks can be deceiving. don't we hear it all the time from men when the roles in this Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #152

seems some people on here ... still ... do NOT get it. seabeyond Apr 2015 #153

One may wonder at the dramatic lack of any relevant pictures of the lovely couple from 1996... LanternWaste Apr 2015 #193

Is it 'sweeps week'? n/t PoliticAverse Apr 2015 #129

what is ABC doing? sweeping the floor? Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #140

wait a minute. we have some supposed hillbilly advocating raping (marry) our girls seabeyond Apr 2015 #151

Isn't ABC owned by Disney? Emelina Apr 2015 #176

Anyone know if Mary Kay's family is still rich? LittleBlue Apr 2015 #186

This was news in 1997 when she was arrested, in 1998 when she was arrested again, and in 2005 struggle4progress Apr 2015 #198

Definitely deep psychological problems going on. Butterbean Apr 2015 #204

For all those downplaying the rape by saying... Lancero Apr 2015 #207

They must need money shrike Apr 2015 #215