General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Marriage tips from a rapist, on ABC [View all]sub.theory
(652 posts)I know you don't support domestic violence, and I'm not trying to suggest that you do. I know you wouldn't and I am using that to try and show you that this situation is quite similar. Just because he married her doesn't change the fact that she raped him. Just as a woman marrying an abusive man her doesn't change the fact that he beats her. It is wrong and there is no possible justification for it.
I don't think that anyone is trying to separate these two people and no one even stopped them from marrying. What everyone here, including myself, are reacting to is the denial that this is rape. It is rape. It may not seem like it's a big deal, but it is. If you have trouble seeing that, you are certainly not alone, because it is not uncommon in our society. This is why we have to keep speaking up about it, because people need to know that this is wrong. It's a good thing that you are feeling unsure now, because it means that you are seriously considering what we are saying.
Rape is a horrific crime that causes lifelong scars. It is one of the most depraved, most vile crimes possible. This is an issue that deeply impacts me and it has tremendous personal significance, because there is a woman very close to me that has been raped and was sexually abused as a child. I have seen with my own eyes the damage that has been done and how it affects her to this day. She still sometimes wakes up screaming at nights having nightmares. It is just impossible to overstate how damaging rape is, and I think it is something that many people don't understand unless they closely know someone who has been raped. I probably wouldn't fully understand either how it forever changes lives if I hadn't seen it firsthand. I am most certainly not trying to minimize rape - far, far from it. I am trying to treat it with the deadly seriousness that it deserves, and that is why I am being so insistent that this is rape.