General Discussion

MineralMan

(151,281 posts)

113. My problem with this is the Prom Night focus.

Sat May 2, 2015, 09:23 AM

May 2015

Why Prom Night? The problem of young men coercing or wheedling young women into having sex with them is a 365 day problem every year. A poster like this doesn't address the real problem in any way, and focuses on a single event.

Instead, educating boys about respect for the girls around them at all times would be a far better idea. In fact, it should be something that is done beginning very early. High school age girls do have sex, if they want to and enthusiastically consent to it. Nothing wrong with that, and it has always been the case.

That's the only time it's OK. Enthusiastic consent is the basic requirement for sexual activity. That's what we need to be teaching schoolboys. If they learn it then, they'll have that all their lives.

Prom posters won't cut it. It needs to be part of the culture. No enthusiastic consent? No sex. Period.

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High school prom poster sex-shames young women [View all] demmiblue Apr 2015 OP

Why does no one ever preach to our boys? notadmblnd Apr 2015 #1

I believe that poster IS targeted at boys. Xithras Apr 2015 #3

I agree B2G Apr 2015 #4

yes, but it is the female's character that seems to be the problem notadmblnd Apr 2015 #7

Yes. It's a very patronizing message. Xithras Apr 2015 #9

exactly Liberal_in_LA Apr 2015 #70

The don't-rape subtext isn't bad... Orsino Apr 2015 #8

Sex corrupts a womans character and it's a mans job to protect her from herself. Xithras Apr 2015 #10

Even worse, I suspect it's a don't-steal message... Orsino Apr 2015 #11

I think you have identified the crux of the biscuit here. hifiguy Apr 2015 #58

Why are religious groups allowed to promote their beliefs procon Apr 2015 #12

yeah, that too. notadmblnd Apr 2015 #13

Indoctrination? Ms. Yertle May 2015 #107

In the 1950's, getting laid on prom night was a right of passage. Xithras Apr 2015 #2

lol - wow. Words fail. closeupready Apr 2015 #37

You disagree? Xithras Apr 2015 #41

It's true. Warren DeMontague May 2015 #94

And, you think that's okay? ann--- Apr 2015 #54

Err...why wouldn't it be? Xithras Apr 2015 #71

Not all couples ann--- Apr 2015 #77

"For the girl".... But not "for the guy"? How odd. PeaceNikki Apr 2015 #78

Well... Xithras Apr 2015 #79

Well ann--- May 2015 #101

FWIW-- Ms. Yertle May 2015 #105

Why not? Warren DeMontague May 2015 #91

oh yeah .. great passage for the guy DustyJoe May 2015 #128

So, if she would decide to have sex on prom night, somehow Sheldon Cooper Apr 2015 #5

No, but if ann--- Apr 2015 #56

That poster won't deter rapists. yardwork Apr 2015 #83

Didn't think it would ann--- May 2015 #102

Unbelievable. yardwork May 2015 #112

Wow ismnotwasm May 2015 #117

What is so ann--- May 2015 #130

Tell that to the women in the ME who get raped Jamastiene May 2015 #138

So the takeaway here is ... what? I'm struggling to understand closeupready Apr 2015 #6

I'm with you. It's seems like a pretty positive message to me. cbayer Apr 2015 #14

it's sponsored by two religious groups. at a public school. PeaceNikki Apr 2015 #17

I assessed it without regard to who was sponsoring it, but I did then cbayer Apr 2015 #26

Ugh, gross. Sex is shameful and taints your character, if you don't have a penis. PeaceNikki Apr 2015 #27

Where in the world do you get the message that sex is shameful. cbayer Apr 2015 #31

Are you implying that the message of that poster was NOT about sex? PeaceNikki Apr 2015 #34

Well, yes, I did not really see a message about sex at all, except possibly one that cbayer Apr 2015 #39

The message is literally about sex. That's not an "interpretation", it's fact. PeaceNikki Apr 2015 #42

Well, since not everyone agrees with you, maybe I'm not fucked up. cbayer Apr 2015 #43

Hostile? That's your interpretation. PeaceNikki Apr 2015 #45

Yes, it is my interpretation and I do not present it as fact. cbayer Apr 2015 #47

It feels like you're being protective of religious organizations PeaceNikki Apr 2015 #49

Seriously? I'm not protecting religious organizations at all. cbayer Apr 2015 #52

Well it says right in the OP and it's on the poster itself so I am not sure how you did that. PeaceNikki Apr 2015 #55

Where is sex on the poster itself? The OP is an interpretation with which I disagree. cbayer Apr 2015 #60

You refer to her views as 'fucked up' - that is def hostile. closeupready Apr 2015 #50

lol PeaceNikki Apr 2015 #51

Aren't you classy, quiet and shy? REP Apr 2015 #64

I know, right? PeaceNikki Apr 2015 #66

lol closeupready Apr 2015 #68

It seems like a positive message ChazII Apr 2015 #18

It certainly did stir up some feelings. cbayer Apr 2015 #32

Yes, I was going on the ChazII Apr 2015 #72

Agreed. I think those with an agenda are taking this WAY beyond closeupready Apr 2015 #35

Hrm, you don't think that the authors of the message have an 'agenda'? PeaceNikki Apr 2015 #36

Yes, I do, and I'm troubled by the melange of public/religious here, closeupready Apr 2015 #38

Clearly there is a great deal of variability in how people interpret this, cbayer Apr 2015 #40

No there's not. PeaceNikki Apr 2015 #44

Well, all I can say that it is you that is equating character with sex. cbayer Apr 2015 #46

The poster does not say "respect". It says "protect". Tell me cbayer, what does a young man do Luminous Animal May 2015 #120

The very first word at the top is 'respect'. B2G May 2015 #121

The title of the posters says, "A night to protect her character." Luminous Animal May 2015 #122

My point is, it says both. nt B2G May 2015 #123

What do young women need to be protected from? Seriously? cbayer May 2015 #124

None of that has anything to do with a man protecting a woman. Luminous Animal May 2015 #125

There is a lot of date rape going on and if messages like this give cbayer May 2015 #126

Got it. Not raping is protecting a woman. Luminous Animal May 2015 #133

OMG, that's not what I said. cbayer May 2015 #135

OK lets start with this: procon Apr 2015 #19

Also this. Well said. PeaceNikki Apr 2015 #22

While I agree that who sponsored the message can be important, the fact that they are religious cbayer Apr 2015 #28

Just stop. LeftOfWest Apr 2015 #65

Stop what? Expressing my opinion? cbayer Apr 2015 #67

This message was self-deleted by its author demmiblue May 2015 #85

This message was self-deleted by its author cbayer May 2015 #127

You are right, that was a low blow. demmiblue May 2015 #129

Thanks demmiblue. I greatly respect that. cbayer May 2015 #131

A fine analysis. hifiguy Apr 2015 #59

"Courageous, fearless, independent, confident" are included oberliner May 2015 #90

They are, but that isn't the point at all, is it? nt procon May 2015 #95

Not sure oberliner May 2015 #97

Protect her character treestar Apr 2015 #21

Of course. But his is bolstered. PeaceNikki Apr 2015 #23

Where do you get the message about sex? cbayer Apr 2015 #29

Why, from Kelsey Schindl, the girl at the center of this. procon Apr 2015 #61

She did express that as her belief and I respect her take on it, but cbayer Apr 2015 #63

It seems pretty clear treestar May 2015 #106

I don't think guys should pressure girls into doing Ms. Yertle May 2015 #108

No. Why would you ask that? treestar May 2015 #111

Nonsense. Girls of good character have sex all the time. cbayer May 2015 #115

That's what the message says treestar May 2015 #116

I don't know what those that wrote the message were trying to say and I don't cbayer May 2015 #118

The implication is that a woman's character is somehow damaged by sex Matariki Apr 2015 #24

Prom is for women...? Um, don't think so. closeupready Apr 2015 #33

What are you talking about? Your response makes no sense. Matariki Apr 2015 #80

You then believe a female requires a male to protect her character? LanternWaste Apr 2015 #25

It's talking down to kids ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2015 #76

Perhaps they don't have 'better' sex ed classes, and they know closeupready Apr 2015 #84

Bullshit ProudToBeBlueInRhody May 2015 #88

And who are you to call bullshit here? No, not bullshit. closeupready May 2015 #89

So you don't think religious groups like the one behind the poster are blocking sex-ed? ProudToBeBlueInRhody May 2015 #96

It is equating sex with character Marrah_G Apr 2015 #82

What does the poster mean by "Character" and why does it rely on others to be... Humanist_Activist May 2015 #98

Update: Controversial prom flyer removed from high school hack89 Apr 2015 #15

Good. PeaceNikki Apr 2015 #20

Thanks for the update. n/t demmiblue May 2015 #87

What's the "A Night to Protect His Character" poster look like? hunter Apr 2015 #16

Protecting his character ... JustABozoOnThisBus Apr 2015 #30

I was thinking of the guy who get's his balls kicked up into his throat by his date... hunter Apr 2015 #62

I think a village wizard poster would be more direct Capt. Obvious Apr 2015 #48

Have we not gotten anywhere? Laffy Kat Apr 2015 #53

The 50's had the highest rate of teen pregnancy post WWII underpants Apr 2015 #57

Prior to the 1980s, most pregnant teens were married. Petrushka May 2015 #103

My take on it: frogmarch Apr 2015 #69

THIS is what outrages you? Telcontar Apr 2015 #73

If this thread makes Jesus weep, he needs to seriously assess his priorities. PeaceNikki Apr 2015 #74

Blah, blah, blah. demmiblue May 2015 #86

And this thread is what outrages you? beam me up scottie May 2015 #93

Everything we need to know about you wrapped up in one post. n/t JTFrog May 2015 #99

Ditto Telcontar May 2015 #100

This message was self-deleted by its author JTFrog May 2015 #104

It should be an ad for a dry cleaner instead ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2015 #75

where's the corresponding poster of the boy figure? are boys not expected to be respectful, locdlib Apr 2015 #81

Just imagine what would happen, if High School students started having sex. Warren DeMontague May 2015 #92

Well I Wouldn't Have been a Gran'ma at 38 ismnotwasm May 2015 #119

If it's any consolation, it wasnt just you. Warren DeMontague May 2015 #137

Maybe a poster aimed at girls Ms. Yertle May 2015 #109

Maybe... no. demmiblue May 2015 #110

My problem with this is the Prom Night focus. MineralMan May 2015 #113

What? No chastity belt? icymist May 2015 #114

It's the kind of thing.... daleanime May 2015 #132

Hahahahahahaha, you can have all of those things & still have sex.. giftedgirl77 May 2015 #134

Quiet is on there too? Jamastiene May 2015 #136