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derby378

(30,262 posts)

35. At my wife's funeral, I delivered the eulogy myself

Tue May 5, 2015, 08:45 PM

May 2015

The family insisted on having my niece's husband officiate the service for fear that I might collapse at the pulpit in grief. I can't blame them for that, and it felt good having him up there next to me during the funeral. Nevertheless, I maintained myself and even got some laughs out of the mourners when talking about an incident involving Ginny, her cat, and a slice of pizza.

Ginny being an atheist, she didn't want a preacher in charge of the ceremony, and her family has a couple of fundie preachers who would have done it if asked. I offered a reading from Bertrand Russell instead. The officiator did lead the assembled in prayer, I recall, but that's about as far as it went. I think we honored her wishes to her satisfaction.

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Ever been to a funeral where the preacher screams at the bereaved? [View all] Tsiyu May 2015 OP

I went to one like that - it was obnoxious. Baptist minister asked Lil Missy May 2015 #1

That sounds like total self-absorption and exploitation Tsiyu May 2015 #4

scary funeral Liberal_in_LA May 2015 #2

Not scary for me, because the man's threats only mean something to those who believe them Tsiyu May 2015 #5

Yeah, exactly. Warren DeMontague May 2015 #61

The family hired him; must've had an idea of what they were in for REP May 2015 #3

Our family has memorial services where we remember the person Tsiyu May 2015 #7

"Clergy usually don't do funerals gratis" awoke_in_2003 May 2015 #17

These days most clegy charge a good sum csziggy May 2015 #47

Wow... awoke_in_2003 May 2015 #49

Yeah, it was startling csziggy May 2015 #50

Nope. I've mostly been to the kind where you check the program during the eulogy winter is coming May 2015 #6

Aha Tsiyu May 2015 #8

I think the poster is talking about a funeral where the deceased is raised so high ScreamingMeemie May 2015 #10

Ah I see Tsiyu May 2015 #13

Yes. This. winter is coming May 2015 #19

My grandma's funeral was like this gollygee May 2015 #9

Well, this woman may have wanted that; I don't know. Tsiyu May 2015 #14

Yes, pastor began a tirade about one of us in the audience being next, kids were terrified... AuntPatsy May 2015 #11

So you think they're nuts, too? Tsiyu May 2015 #15

Most funerals I have been to did not have a church service. Raine1967 May 2015 #12

I do not know Tsiyu May 2015 #16

My guess is Southern Baptist or some sort of "unaffiliated" fundy church. winter is coming May 2015 #20

100% Runningdawg May 2015 #23

Some priests ( I don't know how many) want to do the funeral Mass hedgehog May 2015 #84

Last funeral I went to was a couple of weeks ago. The Velveteen Ocelot May 2015 #18

Lovely and peaceful Tsiyu May 2015 #29

No (nt) bigwillq May 2015 #21

Nope B2G May 2015 #22

When my dad died, we had to listened to one of those awful preachers. procon May 2015 #24

I wish you had been at this funeral! Tsiyu May 2015 #31

I was at one where the "preacher" editorialized about the young woman's lifestyle Sen. Walter Sobchak May 2015 #25

That must have been awful Tsiyu May 2015 #33

Future historians will have a laugh at the neanderthals belief in god NoJusticeNoPeace May 2015 #26

The last funeral I was at was a tad uncomfortable AndreaCG May 2015 #27

Screamed? LWolf May 2015 #28

Isn't that just so lazy? Tsiyu May 2015 #36

Yes. LWolf May 2015 #83

That is just so cruel Tsiyu May 2015 #86

I think that's a Baptist thing theboss May 2015 #30

I went to a graveside service for an elderly aunt DefenseLawyer May 2015 #32

I think I would have had to walk out Tsiyu May 2015 #37

Yes I've been to one like that. janlyn May 2015 #45

Last funeral I was at, the pastor was cool. backscatter712 May 2015 #34

God or Jesus or Allah is supposed to be a comfort when you grieve Tsiyu May 2015 #39

At my wife's funeral, I delivered the eulogy myself derby378 May 2015 #35

I remember you posting about Ginny's funeral Tsiyu May 2015 #40

Thank you... derby378 May 2015 #44

I hope Tsiyu May 2015 #59

Many funerals I have attended in the South mention the deceased briefly.... alphafemale May 2015 #38

I guess that's what they're used to Tsiyu May 2015 #42

I've been to more than a few of them malaise May 2015 #41

It does no good, really, does it? Tsiyu May 2015 #43

Pisses off everyone malaise May 2015 #46

lol Tsiyu May 2015 #48

Not yet. zappaman May 2015 #51

WEll, come on down! Tsiyu May 2015 #54

My Father's funeral was all fire and brimstone, as near as i can tell because of his 2nd wife's Warren DeMontague May 2015 #52

"Jarring" is an excellent description Tsiyu May 2015 #55

You know, At the time I just quietly rolled my eyes. Warren DeMontague May 2015 #58

Park us in a chair Tsiyu May 2015 #62

I was at a funeral once where the minister screamed at the family of the deceased!!! MADem May 2015 #53

Those of us who come from more compassionate traditions Tsiyu May 2015 #56

They were prepared for it. MADem May 2015 #63

Good for them! Tsiyu May 2015 #70

I will say, it was a strange experience--almost like something that would make MADem May 2015 #87

Maybe they left specific instructions to that effect. Warren DeMontague May 2015 #60

I think the minister had a "special relationship" with the deceased, i.e., I think he MADem May 2015 #65

Because it's one of the few places Jane Austin May 2015 #57

Well, Jane Austin Tsiyu May 2015 #64

I have no idea who selected the preacher Go Vols May 2015 #66

Yeah, won't happen in my family ever Tsiyu May 2015 #71

That happened at my grandmother's funeral laundry_queen May 2015 #67

Maybe it's some Super Secret PsyOps Tsiyu May 2015 #72

Close Generic Brad May 2015 #68

I'm sure that was just what she needed to hear in her time of sorrow Tsiyu May 2015 #73

I experienced this. I had to snatch my eulogy out of their hands Quayblue May 2015 #69

Thank you Quayblue, for the wonderful hugs Tsiyu May 2015 #75

Just came back from a service in Omaha and could not believe akbacchus_BC May 2015 #74

Everything's a racket Tsiyu May 2015 #76

Not only that, we paid for my son-in-law's name to be inscribed on the casket, and moments before akbacchus_BC May 2015 #77

That's horrible. Tsiyu May 2015 #79

Lots of manipulative and abusive gurus in all the different cults. Yorktown May 2015 #78

Pretty much with you there Tsiyu May 2015 #80

Wow, great, a fellow Flying Spaghetti Monster Believer. Yorktown May 2015 #81

I'm one of the Rigatoni Order Tsiyu May 2015 #85

I think some are just innept HeiressofBickworth May 2015 #82

Maybe it's a shield they wear to block all the sad people? Tsiyu May 2015 #88

Yes, it was some version of Baptist. JustABozoOnThisBus May 2015 #89

Yeah, we all tell the truth Tsiyu May 2015 #90

Out the guy by putting him on You Tube vinny9698 May 2015 #91

Excellent idea AndreaCG May 2015 #92

They broadcast these guys on the local radio Tsiyu May 2015 #93