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3catwoman3

(29,251 posts)

62. During a nearly 40 year pediatric nurse practitioner career, I have....

Sat May 9, 2015, 01:00 PM

May 2015

...seen about every variety of parenting you could imagine, and a few you probably couldn't (or wouldn't want to).

Every time I indulge in the "I've seen it all" thought, I find I haven't. A couple of years ago, I had a 12 year old girl who came in for a possible bladder infection. She did not have one. As the visit was concluding, I reviewed the crucial aspects of proper female hygiene techniques, with emphasis on proper "directional" cleansing, so to speak.

The mom piped up, "I do that." At first, naturally enough, I thought she was referring to her own habits. Imagine my horror when I figured out she was still assisting/overseeing her 12 year old daughter after the kid peed. I was speechless. This was not a special needs child. After collecting my thoughts, I suggested to the mom that her daughter was old enough to assume this responsibility on her own. The mom blithely replied, "Oh, I don't mind." My brain was screaming, "You SHOULD mind!!!"

So far, this one has not been topped.

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How helicopter parents are ruining college students [View all] mfcorey1 May 2015 OP

+1000 smirkymonkey May 2015 #1

Interesting angle.... However this labeling of parents might be earned from the midnight May 2015 #2

That's a different issue. CBHagman May 2015 #8

Different issue same label-helicopter parenting... midnight May 2015 #12

I know what you mean. These are parents who Ilsa May 2015 #24

I always remind overprotective, overindulgent parents that they are NOT raising a child; they tblue37 May 2015 #85

Helicopter parents on this board, take my cousin Robby as a cautionary tale roguevalley May 2015 #46

Hmm... onpatrol98 May 2015 #55

I think you miss the suffocation of his life and soul roguevalley May 2015 #60

When I was a freshman in college the mother of one of my friends laid out her clothes every morning. Hekate May 2015 #73

Too true! College kids working their way through cannot get much beyond $7,000 a year Dustlawyer May 2015 #9

So instead of the dorms, you were creative and used the RV? midnight May 2015 #13

Dorms cost a lot more, yes. I bought a used travel trailer for cheap and planned it out Dustlawyer May 2015 #15

Such a great idea... midnight May 2015 #83

I got lucky on the trailer. A husband and wife were going to get a divorce so he bought the Dustlawyer May 2015 #86

The kids are at fault here too FLPanhandle May 2015 #3

I totally agree CanonRay May 2015 #5

Same for me, except I was 18. My parents didn't even help me fill out college apps. Now, Nay May 2015 #14

I had that issue too - TBF May 2015 #21

It doesn't sound like your parents scrutinized and critiqued everything down to your skivvies. roguevalley May 2015 #47

It would have to be bad enough to make a phone call treestar May 2015 #16

So true - TBF May 2015 #20

Agreed, this is the part of the story I don't get. Butterbean May 2015 #34

That's because you didn't have helicopter parents. (nt) jeff47 May 2015 #69

Too many parents today want to be their kids' best friend. X_Digger May 2015 #76

I think what the article is trying to get at Egnever May 2015 #66

Because you were taught to handle the situation yourself. jeff47 May 2015 #68

They're not emotionally equipped to handle it. They have no coping strategies, no negotiating skills X_Digger May 2015 #75

it's codependentcy and causes much worse probs than elehhhhna May 2015 #4

Yeah I know--- trumad May 2015 #6

That ain't nothin'. I had to walk 15 miles to school each day, barefoot, Hoppy May 2015 #11

Not to mention that it was uphill both ways. Fuddnik May 2015 #43

I didn't walk miles to school but I remember putting cardboard in my shoes to plug the holes roguevalley May 2015 #49

Cardbord covered in black electrical tape so no one would notice. Historic NY May 2015 #54

exactly. WHen the apocalypse comes, I will last five roguevalley May 2015 #71

In the distant past, Thespian2 May 2015 #7

Corollary issue, N.P/.R. story last week about millenials who have Hoppy May 2015 #10

Is this story online? SusanCalvin May 2015 #19

I don't know. I spend hours in the car each day. I have Sirius and two Hoppy May 2015 #42

Boy, my parents didn't have any trouble saying goodbye to me. Marr May 2015 #17

LOL Pretty much the same here. They dropped me off one year... WorseBeforeBetter May 2015 #63

My brother interviewed people in their 20s who brought mom with them! 7962 May 2015 #18

While I shake my head at parents like this, I also remind myself skepticscott May 2015 #22

I was just crafting a post very much like yours. And as someone else said, having this Nay May 2015 #28

Unfortunately, a lot of what parents do these days skepticscott May 2015 #56

another new experiment for the children, hence parents. the adult world shoved in our kids face 24/7 seabeyond May 2015 #37

Not to mention Sweet Freedom May 2015 #40

Independence is good but MissB May 2015 #23

good points. below, i talked about my experience. i did the same, at about the same age, seabeyond May 2015 #29

its okay, MissB. My mother thought the same thing and actually cried. Then my brother didn't move roguevalley May 2015 #50

What the hell? paleotn May 2015 #25

P.S. paleotn May 2015 #31

i was excited when my son was off on his own at college. no tears, but i still had another at home. seabeyond May 2015 #26

I'm an adjunct. Starry Messenger May 2015 #27

As a university teacher, I've only experienced that ONCE; and it was 25 years ago! LeftishBrit May 2015 #39

It happens here, not a ton, but it's always kind of wtf when it does. Starry Messenger May 2015 #41

I love these threads abelenkpe May 2015 #30

They did. (nt) paleotn May 2015 #32

my parents were excellent. yet, when boys were young she confided, she wished she had seabeyond May 2015 #33

Yes, the way my dad constantly belittled and hit us 60 years ago was so much better! djean111 May 2015 #52

True The conditions were different treestar May 2015 #64

I am a helicopter parent in one critical fashion exboyfil May 2015 #35

As a retired RN VA_Jill May 2015 #45

Thanks for the input exboyfil May 2015 #58

Another concern VA_Jill May 2015 #78

As a still working nurse practitioner, I share... 3catwoman3 May 2015 #59

The 15 months is on top exboyfil May 2015 #61

Helicopter parents are more a symptom of the problem than the cause LeftishBrit May 2015 #36

after college grad, my son will be going to further education for 3 yrs. i think geeez, paying his seabeyond May 2015 #38

Some of these parents are control freaks.... Spitfire of ATJ May 2015 #44

These, no doubt, are the same parents who distance themselves from their K-12 responsibilities... MrMickeysMom May 2015 #48

Yeah... I cried all the way to the airport. calimary May 2015 #51

I don't do that to my son who is a junior in hs... giftedgirl77 May 2015 #53

I heard a true story of a state agency that avebury May 2015 #57

During a nearly 40 year pediatric nurse practitioner career, I have.... 3catwoman3 May 2015 #62

Holy moley Hekate May 2015 #74

Mini-Fridge???? bvar22 May 2015 #65

Back in the day, progressoid May 2015 #70

The generation being raised by this kind of parent hifiguy May 2015 #67

I've got helicopter step daughters... awoke_in_2003 May 2015 #72

A while back, a DUer whose child is at the Naval Academy posted about helicopter parents Ex Lurker May 2015 #77

Don't helicopter! But for god's sake don't let them walk to school by themselves either! Brickbat May 2015 #79

A small minority of parents today. DemocraticWing May 2015 #80

My slight defense of Helicopter parenting.... Nolimit May 2015 #81

I think there is another reason for parents involvement in dorm situations. TexasMommaWithAHat May 2015 #82

They are Snowplow Parents. Trying to remove every obstacle in front of their precious. kairos12 May 2015 #84