First, he actually said he opposed same sex marriage. Equal rights, but not marriage (and as a very competent attorney, he knows the wide gap between marriage and something else "equal"
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Second, when you are the repeated target of "I'm for equal rights, but" conversations, you develop a very good sense of when there is emotional baggage that is the source of the "but." In addition to just living it 24/7, I spent 8+ years in a very intense period of wrestling with my faith community, culminating in my community marrying my spouse and I. Listening and sorting the emotional and other baggage on this issue is something I do frequently, and well.
During the 2008 primaries I spent a lot of time watching, listening, and reading everything that was available from each of the presidential candidates. Both Edwards and Obama struggled on a gut level with the issue. Edwards openly acknowledged it. Obama intellectualized it as a very convincing cover (convincing enough that many LGBT individuals believed he really supported marriage (and other rights), but just couldn't say so politically in advance of the election). From my perspective, nothing Obama did during his first portion of his term with respect to LGBT issues has shocked me - it is all extremely consistent with my sense of him from the primary period. I was disappointed, and each new jab or delay hurt like hell. But none were surprised me (and I know there were several times I had that specific discussion with DUers who were shocked at new slights). That confirms, for me at least, my ability to assess where where he really is on the matter.
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