Taylor Swift: "Misogyny Is Ingrained in People From the Time They Are Born"

[laundry_queen]

169. I'm a mother of 4 girls

and if I had dollar for every time I have heard something along the lines of "do you wish you had a boy" or "kept trying for a boy eh?" it would pay for a nice large trip to Costco.

I have a LARGE extended family too (even some Duggar size families in there) and the boys always get the farm/house/car and the girls get married off. It's done in a subtle manner (Jim WANTS to work the farm, the girls are busy raising their kids, they don't have time for that!) AT family gatherings, the women are in the kitchen and the guys are sitting at the table talking about cars or farm equipment. The old fashioned roles are still there. Yeah, once in awhile one of the men will help with the dishes, but it's rare and when it happens, said guy gets super accolades from the women and ribbing from the guys about being 'whipped'.

In my workplace, the men get promoted more quickly and get paid more than the women - and have less responsibilities. Recently we found out one of the female supervisors made $35,000 less than her male counterpart, even though she supervised more people and had been with the company longer. A 20-something co-worker of mine who is also a friend once poo-poo'ed me for mentioning our workplace might be sexist. She said sexism didn't exist anymore because SHE had never seen proof of it before. She was convinced she would achieve her career objectives regardless...until she found out 2 guys who were hired after her, who have less experience, who don't have a degree like she does, were hired at a higher rate and received quicker promotions and larger raises. This is someone who could be considered 'key' personnel - she knows how to do things no one else does...yet for every promotion she's received she's had to go in and demand it while the guys have had it handed to them on a silver platter. She confided in me the other day that she is now starting to see that I'm right.

As a child I was absolutely NUTS about hockey. I memorized hockey cards, I had all the pet peeves, numbers, stats, etc of all the Oilers committed to memory at the age of 6. I never needed help skating - the first time I put on skates, I skated for hours without falling once (I was 4). I begged, year after year, to be put in hockey. My brother didn't even want to go in hockey and my parents put him in. I would BEG to practice with my brother's teams and inevitably his coach would tell my dad that I was really good and they should put me in hockey. I begged and begged and the response was, "You are a girl. You cannot 'make' it anywhere in hockey. At least your brother has a chance for the NHL, with you it would just be an expensive hobby." In high school phys ed a teacher asked me if I played hockey, because I was so good (and played with the guys and kept up easily) she just assumed I did. "Nope" "Well you should" she said. "my parents won't put me in it because I'm a girl" I said. She nodded in understanding. I wasn't the only girl with that issue.

I've had to tell my brother to STFU at family gatherings because he'll go on and on about how he hates women rock stars..."girls cannot be rock stars. They sound horrible.All girls sound like they are shrieking" or other similar, stupid, shit about women. Then my dad will tell me to 'stop getting hysterical' about it. I can guarantee you, my family is not the only family around like that. BTW, I do try to limit contact with my girls and my family for this reason.

Also I'm familiar with the oil patch and women STILL have an uphill battle there. It's improved immensely in the last 20 years, but you should hear the guys complain about the girls (and try to sabotage them) when they are not around.

Just because YOU don't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It existed for me, and try as I might, it exists around my girls. Denying it just makes it worse for them. I will NEVER sit back and let people pretend it doesn't still exist for THEIR sake. Sexism exists still for MANY (even if it doesn't for you and yours) and therefore it should be a concern for ALL.