General Discussion

KitSileya

(4,035 posts)

35. Respect children's bodily autonomy by not forcing them to hug or kiss people.

Fri May 22, 2015, 11:39 AM

May 2015

That includes grandparents and parents. Children should be asked before anyone hugs or kiss them, and it should be made clear that they can say no without repercussions. Anything else is teaching them that their consent is worth nothing.

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Things we should know about child molesters. (They are everywhere.) [View all] pnwmom May 2015 OP

The statistics repeatedly bear out that 1 in 4 women; and 1 in 7 men... CoffeeCat May 2015 #1

CoffeeCat, this is why I posted. pnwmom May 2015 #2

Another point too, about the perp profile... CoffeeCat May 2015 #3

I've read that, too, and it makes sense. pnwmom May 2015 #5

Not all predators are victims. Many victims do not become predators. Dont call me Shirley May 2015 #50

But "acting out" sexually with siblings... CoffeeCat May 2015 #69

If victims of sexual abuse are going to be labelled as potential aggressors they will stop Dont call me Shirley May 2015 #73

I do get what you are saying... CoffeeCat May 2015 #82

That's amazing... CoffeeCat May 2015 #4

I so hope you're right, CoffeeCat. I've been hoping that her dealing with this pnwmom May 2015 #6

My niece called me a couple of weeks ohheckyeah May 2015 #7

Wow. I'm thinking it's time for someone to hire a lawyer. Slapping her on the head is assault. pnwmom May 2015 #10

I wanted ohheckyeah May 2015 #19

"I think the pats and rubbing are to get the girls used to his touch." - that's called "grooming". FSogol May 2015 #24

Thanks. ohheckyeah May 2015 #25

And, The Principal Needs To Be Re-Educated As Well ProfessorGAC May 2015 #30

Holy crap Dorian Gray May 2015 #64

I am ohheckyeah May 2015 #65

A supportive Dorian Gray May 2015 #85

People always try to make it about "the Other", but they are in our own communities too.... Hekate May 2015 #8

+1000. n/t pnwmom May 2015 #9

This is just my opinion, AngryDem001 May 2015 #11

1 of out 4 girls has been molested as a child. This is not fear-mongering, this is reality. pnwmom May 2015 #12

And some number of boys as well. xfundy May 2015 #14

Yes -- 1 out of 6 or 7. It's an epidemic. n/t pnwmom May 2015 #16

1 out of 4? SheilaT May 2015 #18

It came from a CDC report. pnwmom May 2015 #20

I certainly hate to doubt the CDC, although that report SheilaT May 2015 #36

they say it is from the 2003 crime victimization survey hfojvt May 2015 #39

I'm sort of wondering the same thing. SheilaT May 2015 #40

Child sexual abuse is a larger category than rape/sexual assault. pnwmom May 2015 #44

That rate you cite Cal Carpenter May 2015 #70

it was for a year hfojvt May 2015 #71

And my point is that rape statistics and child molestation statistics are two different things. pnwmom May 2015 #81

The report from the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center had footnotes pnwmom May 2015 #42

CDC site says report not found- here is what the CDC actually says- snooper2 May 2015 #43

Child sexual abuse is a broader category, including types of actions pnwmom May 2015 #45

I'm not trying to minimize anything just looking for the raw data from CDC or FBI snooper2 May 2015 #46

The number includes girls up to the age of 18 so it would obviously be lower at the age of 11. pnwmom May 2015 #47

Not when they really are everywhere. xfundy May 2015 #15

I am tuned into reality. AngryDem001 May 2015 #21

What are some effective ways to educate children about the threat they face? Brickbat May 2015 #23

Talk openly to the children. Assuming it's not a primary parent who is molesting them underahedgerow May 2015 #28

Oh, I know. I just wanted to see where AngryDem001 drew the line between education and Brickbat May 2015 #32

What I mean is that you can teach children that their body is THEIRS, AngryDem001 May 2015 #48

I think that was the OP's point. Brickbat May 2015 #66

Respect children's bodily autonomy by not forcing them to hug or kiss people. KitSileya May 2015 #35

Consciously conflating concern and awareness with "scared" kind of invalidates your premise LanternWaste May 2015 #38

It's not the boogeyman behind a tree, it's the one preparing dinner, or watching TV on the sofa Scootaloo May 2015 #77

I imagine many people believe accuracy is indeed, fear mongering. LanternWaste May 2015 #37

Sorry but they are everywhere. Step out of the denial hole. Dont call me Shirley May 2015 #51

Sorry, but I am not going to go through life scared of my own shadow. AngryDem001 May 2015 #52

I didn't say be afraid. I said be aware. Big difference. Dont call me Shirley May 2015 #53

I apologize for snapping. AngryDem001 May 2015 #55

Dem001... Dont call me Shirley May 2015 #72

I do have a great therapist. AngryDem001 May 2015 #74

Thank goodness for great therapists! Dont call me Shirley May 2015 #75

This is accurate. Blue_In_AK May 2015 #13

Yes, the one I know of is a well-respected business owner. No one would ever guess. pnwmom May 2015 #17

The one I know lives in 840high May 2015 #83

And often they get away with it for years because it gets hushed up. hobbit709 May 2015 #22

Josh Dugger comes to mind. I always suspect the overly religous katmondoo May 2015 #26

But you should also be aware that these people exist in all types of families pnwmom May 2015 #41

"focus 90 percent of our efforts toward protecting children from the abusers who are not strangers" lumberjack_jeff May 2015 #27

By talking about it outside the home, in churches, in schools and anywhere we can. If WE underahedgerow May 2015 #29

Teaching bodily autonomy and consent from an early age. Brickbat May 2015 #33

Anecdote; Nearly all child molesters were also victims of molestation. That is not to say however, underahedgerow May 2015 #31

ore to the fact, most of them are the ones you least expect it of. KitSileya May 2015 #34

Thank you pnwmom Dont call me Shirley May 2015 #49

You're very welcome! pnwmom May 2015 #57

This hits close to home!!! Here is personal proof of the post's premise. Mira May 2015 #54

I am so glad your son and grandson dodged that bullet. pnwmom May 2015 #56

"They usually dont appear different in any way"- I disagree WestCoastLib May 2015 #58

Jerry Sandusky. Does the name ring any bells? Did you suspect him all along? pnwmom May 2015 #59

Have you seen video of jerry Sandusky? WestCoastLib May 2015 #60

I know a number of people in the Penn State community pnwmom May 2015 #61

People never like to admit they were wrong WestCoastLib May 2015 #67

What makes a person seem "off" ? oberliner May 2015 #68

Most people should be able to pick up on them WestCoastLib May 2015 #86

OK oberliner May 2015 #87

Jim Bob Duggar greymattermom May 2015 #62

He does seem creepy, and so does his wife. But we have might have more to worry about pnwmom May 2015 #63

Be afraid... Be very afraid... Oktober May 2015 #76

I think it's also wise to include the gender of the Lilith Rising May 2015 #78

It truly is scary. romanic May 2015 #79

I'm glad you trust your instincts, romanic, and had better judgment than your dad. n/t pnwmom May 2015 #80

Thank you. romanic May 2015 #84