The male suicides: Social perfectionism is killing men — and things are getting worse

[Warren DeMontague]

170. the question had to do with men who were unhappy, subjectively, presumably with their own

self-expectations or whatever definitions they have in their own head of what "being a man" means.

My suggestion is to find men who are happy with who they are and how they exist in society, start there for perhaps a route to advice on ways to get out of mental or sematic cognitive "traps".

Note that this is not about social engineering men to be more this or less that- this is about subjective life satisfaction for the men who apparently are so miserable that they, according to statistics, are more likely to commit suicide. My feeling is that a more subjectively happy man isnt necessarily going to be less likely to work or more likely to eschew sports, my own feeling is that a subjectively happy man ks going to be more willing to listen to himself and what he wants, as opposed to living life on someone else's terms.

I'm not a big believer in "culture"- it exists, of course (sort of like the way the gross national product exists, or the dewey decimal system) but I strongly feel that ultimately individuals are the ones in charge of what is in their own heads. I agree that not throwing ones' whole existence into work is generally an objective good -- except for people who obtain their highest level of zen satisfaction from doing so-- and likewise being involved with ones' kids; although honestly the "emotionally unavailable dad who doesn't give a shit about his kids" stereotype is, thankfully, something I almost never see anymore, unlike the 1970s. Most Dads I know are very involved with their kids. So maybe things have improved.

As for guns, I'm not a huge fan myself, but a determined person will find a way to kill themselves, gun or no.