selfdelete

[Freddie]

33. Recognizing and ending the cycle of abuse

Is key. Thank you for sharing such horrifically painful memories.
My father was a beloved teacher; parents and kids adored him and there was nothing he would not do for his students. And we lived in the community he taught in, and went to the HS he taught at, and even had him for a teacher ourselves. Behind closed doors, he was horribly cruel verbally (occasionally physically) to us kids and our helpless mom, with a hair-trigger temper. Nothing we did was ever good enough. Then we had to go to school and hear over and over what a wonderful guy Dad was.
He did mellow out when we grew up, or simply realized we were adults, and his grandkids adored him.
In his dotage, with dementia, his true personality came roaring back, and he was nasty and frequently yelled at the staff at his assisted living place, who are trained to deal with such abuse. There was no way my brother or I would have taken him into our homes.
He died a year ago at 92 and it seems the whole community came to the funeral to say goodbye to their beloved Mr. B. So many stories and tributes about what a great teacher and person he was. My brother and I keep all the secrets to this day (my husband knows).