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NanceGreggs

(27,835 posts)

40. No, thanks to my mom ...

Thu Jun 11, 2015, 11:29 PM

Jun 2015

... who, although a Democrat, could be quite "conservative" in her thinking.

My mom started working in one of many aerospace-related industries in the early '60s. She and my dad had split, and she had to start a career in order to support herself and us kids.

Many of her coworkers were lesbians and gay men - and she quickly bonded with them, just as she did with many coworkers. They came to the house for BBQs and drink-'n'-gabs - just my "mom's friends", like all of her other friends.

It was never discussed - I was quite young at the time. My mom just assumed that as I got a bit older, I would understand that "Connie and Fran" were a couple, that Juan and Julio were "together".

And she was right - I did come to understand that. And it never struck me as odd in any way. They were just people - like all of my mom's other friends.

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Did you hate, fear or dislike gay people at one time? [View all] xfundy Jun 2015 OP

Nope, they're people just like me. I don't care who people love. onecaliberal Jun 2015 #1

"People?" Not to some people. xfundy Jun 2015 #7

No I'm not younger. I'm a 48 year old white bleeding heart liberal woman. onecaliberal Jun 2015 #16

If you have men in your life, how do you think they'd respond? xfundy Jun 2015 #24

Been married to a man for 29 years and have 2 sons. onecaliberal Jun 2015 #32

Did you witness any homophobic behavior or influences in their lives? xfundy Jun 2015 #63

No, I've never seen a hint from any of them... onecaliberal Jun 2015 #176

I guess you'd say I was casually homophobic in HS and college Ex Lurker Jun 2015 #57

Chances are that they won't be gay. xfundy Jun 2015 #91

Why would I do something like that? They're all people. shraby Jun 2015 #2

I suffered from some pretty severe internalized homophobia... Agschmid Jun 2015 #3

Am I wrong in assuming you're gay, then? xfundy Jun 2015 #8

I'm *Wicked* Gay Agschmid Jun 2015 #9

Yay! xfundy Jun 2015 #12

I think so... Agschmid Jun 2015 #15

That happened to be (being outed) a couple of times xfundy Jun 2015 #26

Right with you there, Agschmid Aerows Jun 2015 #25

No...was I expected to? brooklynite Jun 2015 #4

My childhood was allllll about conforming. xfundy Jun 2015 #78

Where I grew up, you were most definitely expected to be homophobic. closeupready Jun 2015 #162

You don't understand... brooklynite Jun 2015 #166

Ah okay. Good for you. closeupready Jun 2015 #168

nope. knew and loved LGBT relatives and family friends from the time I was a little kid cali Jun 2015 #5

Are you a younger person? xfundy Jun 2015 #19

not at all. I'm 61. cali Jun 2015 #22

WOW. Isherwood is one of my favorite authors. xfundy Jun 2015 #29

they were relatively free to be themselves, I think cali Jun 2015 #112

Wow, that is fascinating, Cali (as many probably tell you). closeupready Jun 2015 #167

no, not Hemingway cali Jun 2015 #175

General antipathy, I suppose gratuitous Jun 2015 #6

Did you ever get icked out or afraid one of them would come on to you? xfundy Jun 2015 #11

Some icking out in my mid-teens gratuitous Jun 2015 #46

Never, so can't help you with your compilation. (n/t) WorseBeforeBetter Jun 2015 #10

This is good. I expect you are a millenial? xfundy Jun 2015 #13

Far from it! WorseBeforeBetter Jun 2015 #35

Oh, no. Sunday morning and evening, wednesday night xfundy Jun 2015 #54

Ah. WorseBeforeBetter Jun 2015 #75

MD or VA? xfundy Jun 2015 #81

Yes, we are alright. ;-) WorseBeforeBetter Jun 2015 #83

Aren't Methodists great? Blue_In_AK Jun 2015 #100

I'm with ya all the way. WorseBeforeBetter Jun 2015 #216

Yup. It doesn't make it any better but it wasn't so much hatred, I found the whole idea humorous. brewens Jun 2015 #14

I don't know why lots of guys can't just accept the compliment xfundy Jun 2015 #23

They should look at it as less competition for women shouldn't they? WTF is there about that to brewens Jun 2015 #33

I guess they feel a need to 'prove' they're not gay. xfundy Jun 2015 #37

One thing I've learned when discussing gay issues with gay people. Don't say, "I'm not gay brewens Jun 2015 #70

Exactly. It's not like it's an insult. xfundy Jun 2015 #123

That's what I always thought as a kid! jberryhill Jun 2015 #38

Nope, but I had to fight against the phobia many had over AIDS nadinbrzezinski Jun 2015 #17

Exactly. xfundy Jun 2015 #20

Moving out of North Dakota did it for me. nt geek tragedy Jun 2015 #18

Geez, I bet. xfundy Jun 2015 #21

I'm not gay. Moved to Minneapolis for college. geek tragedy Jun 2015 #118

Rural or city? uppityperson Jun 2015 #195

City. Bis-Man. nt geek tragedy Jun 2015 #198

Thanks. It's fun looking back, seeing who bailed when, where they are now and who, how, they are uppityperson Jun 2015 #200

No, I don't believe I ever did. stage left Jun 2015 #27

Nope. I remember my grandmother had a gay friend. His name was Mike. notadmblnd Jun 2015 #28

OK, are YOU younger? xfundy Jun 2015 #31

I'm 56. this was back in the 70's when Dodge Chargers were really cool! notadmblnd Jun 2015 #119

I'm your age xfundy Jun 2015 #136

Maybe. My grandma was a hell raising liberal. Was your mom? notadmblnd Jun 2015 #183

Oh, no. Quite the opposite. xfundy Jun 2015 #194

Oh, I'm so sorry. I can imagine, in fact I know. notadmblnd Jun 2015 #214

No madokie Jun 2015 #30

Was there any animosity toward your friend that you witnessed? xfundy Jun 2015 #34

Pretty much still closeted madokie Jun 2015 #77

I thought those things were strange jberryhill Jun 2015 #36

The epithet being "F*G lover?" Or similar? xfundy Jun 2015 #43

No, just straight up f*** jberryhill Jun 2015 #62

I remember several incidents TlalocW Jun 2015 #39

I should also add TlalocW Jun 2015 #49

This is encouraging. xfundy Jun 2015 #64

No, thanks to my mom ... NanceGreggs Jun 2015 #40

Should have been that simple for everyone xfundy Jun 2015 #139

No....... Grey Jun 2015 #41

Yup Egnever Jun 2015 #42

Thank you. xfundy Jun 2015 #50

Well that was certainly the start Egnever Jun 2015 #177

You will get a ton of responses from people who were pure as the driven snow from the Luminous Animal Jun 2015 #44

You may be right. xfundy Jun 2015 #59

Or just very closeted areas. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Jun 2015 #130

Lots of money has been made xfundy Jun 2015 #141

I ran into Diane Duane books in my tween years Erich Bloodaxe BSN Jun 2015 #147

That's the way it goes Scootaloo Jun 2015 #60

my response was genuine Skittles Jun 2015 #101

Damn romanic Jun 2015 #106

Not 'hating, disliking or fearing' gays is not 'pure as the driven snow'. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Jun 2015 #132

I don't think I did sakabatou Jun 2015 #45

No. My family was gay friendly Hollywood. hunter Jun 2015 #47

My family was gay-friendly Midwest Karia Jun 2015 #210

always supported gays JI7 Jun 2015 #48

I can never remember hating or fearing or disliking gay people Skittles Jun 2015 #51

I was taught to hate black people and be suspicious of Jews. xfundy Jun 2015 #89

I was a GI brat Skittles Jun 2015 #95

i had a similar background shanti Jun 2015 #182

I absolutely agree Skittles Jun 2015 #215

As a kid, my one grandmother was casually racist in her language Erich Bloodaxe BSN Jun 2015 #131

I don't remember if I was explicitly taught to hate black people. stage left Jun 2015 #185

No. LWolf Jun 2015 #52

When I was a young teenager, I used the term as an insult Scootaloo Jun 2015 #53

Me too. xfundy Jun 2015 #56

Yeah, this is close to my experience too cemaphonic Jun 2015 #88

No. Rex Jun 2015 #55

No. Starry Messenger Jun 2015 #58

Yes. I feared them. lovemydog Jun 2015 #61

Fantastic. Thanks for your input. xfundy Jun 2015 #68

I think I figured it out by Sophomore year rufus dog Jun 2015 #65

No. moondust Jun 2015 #66

When I was a teen just learning about sexuality in the 1960s I didn't know any gay people aint_no_life_nowhere Jun 2015 #67

This message was self-deleted by its author LostOne4Ever Jun 2015 #69

Thanks to everyone for the great input! xfundy Jun 2015 #71

Never, I accept everyone as they are! akbacchus_BC Jun 2015 #72

No but I was very lucky to have a very ahead of the times family in the 50s olddots Jun 2015 #73

Do you recall any consternation over Christine Jorgensen? xfundy Jun 2015 #76

Hate, fear or dislike at one time? jberryhill Jun 2015 #74

Never had any negative thoughts about gay folks gwheezie Jun 2015 #79

I don't think so. calimary Jun 2015 #80

I honestly do not remember how I came riversedge Jun 2015 #82

First one I knew in rl was my cousin. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Jun 2015 #135

I dealt with some pretty bad internalized homophobia when I was about 14 or 15. DemocraticWing Jun 2015 #84

Hopefully you came to accept yourself as you are. xfundy Jun 2015 #103

Once I got to college I realized I could pick and choose my company, and be myself. DemocraticWing Jun 2015 #122

I have never hated, feared, or disliked gay people. SamKnause Jun 2015 #85

No, I never hated, feared or disliked them, but as a teenager it was a major cutdown to call someone Ghost in the Machine Jun 2015 #86

Was that you? xfundy Jun 2015 #90

Nope. I came from a tolerant family and.. mvd Jun 2015 #87

There was a time when I just didn't get it. undeterred Jun 2015 #92

Exactly. xfundy Jun 2015 #93

Yes, that was what was taught. PeteSelman Jun 2015 #94

Nope, never in my life. CBGLuthier Jun 2015 #96

Knowledge: Homosexuals and pedophiles are not the same thing. Gay people patricia92243 Jun 2015 #97

Plenty of DUers disliked gay people Prism Jun 2015 #98

Can you elaborate? xfundy Jun 2015 #102

The Great Gay Purge of 2009 bananas Jun 2015 #105

Wow. Thanks. lovemydog Jun 2015 #111

+7 Jamastiene Jun 2015 #125

I never feared, hated or disliked gay people. Blue_In_AK Jun 2015 #99

I just never had any fear/hate/dislike. I was born not caring. JDPriestly Jun 2015 #104

That comment about high school romanic Jun 2015 #107

Yes I did dislike it: at least in myself. Betty Karlson Jun 2015 #108

Never, but then I always knew I was straight. B Calm Jun 2015 #109

I bought into the stereotypes as I was growing up and definitely saw them as "other." Brickbat Jun 2015 #110

No. In fact, I never really thought about it. Vinca Jun 2015 #113

I remember being a bit uncomfortable about the idea when I was in high school gollygee Jun 2015 #114

No, Never ProfessorGAC Jun 2015 #115

None of the above MoonRiver Jun 2015 #116

Not really; and why is no one recing this great thread? TexasProgresive Jun 2015 #117

Lots of lgbt's are still afraid to report crimes against them to police. xfundy Jun 2015 #121

You don't have to be gay to be afraid of reporting crimes. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Jun 2015 #144

I hear you TexasProgresive Jun 2015 #153

No. Next question. n/t AngryOldDem Jun 2015 #120

When I was young and first became aware, I thought it was strange. bemildred Jun 2015 #124

If you don't mind, I'd like to say that your post pretty much sums up my life experiance... BlueJazz Jun 2015 #128

Can't say I ever did, although Erich Bloodaxe BSN Jun 2015 #126

Nope, although I confess to thinking it was funny TexasBushwhacker Jun 2015 #127

I thought his name was Marshall Applewhite. xfundy Jun 2015 #133

He went by Herff at the time TexasBushwhacker Jun 2015 #170

Religion, when mixed with self-hatred, is quite volatile. xfundy Jun 2015 #172

No, while young I married a gay man and lived with him and his life partner for almost 10 years KittyWampus Jun 2015 #129

Wow. xfundy Jun 2015 #134

I knew they were a gay couple. There was a specific legal reason for what we did... KittyWampus Jun 2015 #138

Really interesting OP. Agschmid Jun 2015 #137

Thanks. xfundy Jun 2015 #151

Not hate but as a kid Freddie Mercury was something new to me underpants Jun 2015 #140

Ha! I recall my friends arguing that xfundy Jun 2015 #145

No not raised that way . Had gay friends of both sexes in HS. My mom was friends with a gay Person 2713 Jun 2015 #142

i have always been, and remain, completely baffled by anti-gay prejudice unblock Jun 2015 #143

You should try rice vinegar. It's GOOOOOOD. xfundy Jun 2015 #150

Can't help you. qwlauren35 Jun 2015 #146

Thank you! xfundy Jun 2015 #152

You might want to read the edited version. qwlauren35 Jun 2015 #156

No. Knew gay people, TexasMommaWithAHat Jun 2015 #148

I never "hated, feared or disliked" ... Whiskeytide Jun 2015 #149

Thank YOU for participating. xfundy Jun 2015 #154

I think sometimes ... Whiskeytide Jun 2015 #158

What he said jberryhill Jun 2015 #204

Yes, I was a supporter of "pray the gay away" :-( Bradical79 Jun 2015 #155

I had an uncle who was gay and died when I was in college of AIDS davidpdx Jun 2015 #157

Nope, Never Thought Much RobinA Jun 2015 #159

I'm kind of slow so I didn't figure out until later that some of my mother's friends were gay Fumesucker Jun 2015 #160

Nope. leftyladyfrommo Jun 2015 #161

I was blessed with a liberal upbringing, so pretty much accept people as they are Doctor_J Jun 2015 #163

No. The concept of gay marriage took a little getting-used-to, but not for long. (nt) Paladin Jun 2015 #164

No, but I was unaware treestar Jun 2015 #165

No hatred, but I did make a lot of insensitive and bigoted comments when I was younger. Throd Jun 2015 #169

I don't think I hated them, feared them or disliked them, but... hamsterjill Jun 2015 #171

I grew up watching kids in the hall, evirus Jun 2015 #173

Hadn't even considered that! xfundy Jun 2015 #174

No, but then again I wasn’t honestly aware of people being attracted to their own sex... dorkzilla Jun 2015 #178

Sadly, some still think they or their kids can "catch it" xfundy Jun 2015 #187

Terrible what harm religion can do dorkzilla Jun 2015 #197

I unknowingly married a man who was gay but was trying to 'do the right thing'. Avalux Jun 2015 #179

I came very close to entering a marriage like that. xfundy Jun 2015 #188

Of course I did. I grew up in rural PA and I was a dumbass who believed what others told me LynneSin Jun 2015 #180

Wonderful story. xfundy Jun 2015 #191

Sadly yes IVoteDFL Jun 2015 #181

Excellent. xfundy Jun 2015 #193

Honestly, no, but they were invisible to me for much of my childhood.... Humanist_Activist Jun 2015 #184

No....was/am I supposed to? ileus Jun 2015 #186

When people here object that I assume someone is gay, closeupready Jun 2015 #189

No, never hate, fear or dislike ... but I did NOT pay enough attention .... etherealtruth Jun 2015 #190

I don't think I ever had any of those feelings. But then I was raised by parents who did not waste jwirr Jun 2015 #192

Never once LittleBlue Jun 2015 #196

I do not remember being aware of differences as a child, my folks were very accepting of all people uppityperson Jun 2015 #199

I lived with a lesbian part of the time I was in school. xfundy Jun 2015 #202

In high school, I would use the term "gay" to describe things that were not to Ed Suspicious Jun 2015 #201

I had an uncle, who was gay, maybe two liberal N proud Jun 2015 #203

"maybe he'll find the right girl." xfundy Jun 2015 #205

Nope. Never did. peacebird Jun 2015 #206

As a kid in the 70s, I didn't know what "gay" meant until I was about ten. Arugula Latte Jun 2015 #207

Nope. Always disliked bigots. we can do it Jun 2015 #208

No, never, wasn't raised that way. Yo_Mama Jun 2015 #209

I grew up in Miami, FL, which has many gay people, so it never bothered me. RebelOne Jun 2015 #211

I grew up in Greenwich Village HockeyMom Jun 2015 #212

Learned to make disparraging comments before I knew what they meant. One_Life_To_Give Jun 2015 #213

I went to a fundie church at one point. Initech Jun 2015 #217

My first boyfriend was gay. After he came out we remained dear friends. nolabear Jun 2015 #218