Does being adamantly opposed to same-sex marriage make someone a bigot?

[Betty Karlson]

44. I would almost agree with you, except that I plead for a little understanding

My late great-grandfather was already in his nineties before someone in the family came out (me). For over nine decades, all he had heard about 'homosexuals' was that they were an aberration, an abomination, sinners, hell-bound, and all the rest.

We all know that KNOWING someone gay helps to soften those views,, and in time replace them with better views. But at the age of 93, There wasn't much time left to him to get to know the true me (take into account it took ME three years to come to terms with my sexuality).

That doesn't mean that my late great-grandfather was a bigot. He was a mild-mannered, understanding gentleman, full of love. When his wife became ill with Parkinson's, he took it upon himself to nurse her. And but for the last three months of her life, he managed it, even though he was 92 by the end. He prayed for all his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren every day (inasmuch as he could still remember all their names). The closest thing to a present-day example of how gay-friendly he could have been would be his eldest son, my grandfather.

My grandfather is no bigot either. He always asks me to bring my boyfriend along. Like later this month, when we'll be celebrating his 89th birthday with him and his new wife. He asked me, his gay grandson, to be one of the four witness signatories of the marriage contract. I'm sure that if the boyfriend and I ever decide to get married, my grandfather will gladly attend (especially when there is a church ceremony involved; he likes that!).

My great-grandfather went to his grave in February 2002. There just hadn't been enough time for him to acquaint himself with the issue of homosexuality. He opposed it by convention, not out of hate. But his heart was in the right place. He wasn't a bigot - he was a closeted ally. If only he had lived to be 109...