Proof In The Patches: For anyone wondering whether this was a hate crime

[KitSileya]

20. His family has friends who describe him as soft-spoken

Adding, yes, he told a lot of racist jokes, but we knew he didn't mean them. Which is bullshit. Racist jokes, like rape jokes, have only one purpose. They are used to gauge the audience, to see who agrees, who disagrees, and who are so fucking mealy-mouthed cowards they won't raise a fuss even if they think it is improper.

The latter group are the most important in helping racists, because they give the racists cover to operate. They know the cowards hate it when things get awkward, and will therefore put the onus on people of color to give way when disputes and outrageous behavior happen.

In other words, we White folks need to look at our own behavior and check whether we dismiss racism because it would create tension (in the family, at work, at church, or other social groups) if we used our privilege and didn't smooth things over. After all, the racists make things awkward to begin with - let them own the awkwardness, and then perhaps a person of color won't have to risk everything. And bonus, that person of color won't continue thinking we are racist too, the next time Uncle Larry/Jennifer from Accounting/the uber-nerd in our gaming group says something racist.