General Discussion

calimary

(88,895 posts)

35. OMG! What a hideous experience!

Wed Jul 8, 2015, 09:02 AM

Jul 2015

I appreciate your sharing it. I can't imagine how hard it must be to relive that horror. What an outrage!

It's such a sickness! Sex and violence tied up together like that. I was always taught that sex was something beautiful and terrific between two people who either love each other, or are at least really hot for each other. Putting a crown, if you will, of physicality to a strong emotion of affection. The ultimate expression of intimate fondness. I mean - why else do they call it "love-making"? Violence doesn't even enter into it. Not even supposed to, in my opinion. That the whole concept is violated by violence and domination and degradation is just - well, it is indeed a kind of rape of the very concept of love-making.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Taz. I appreciate your sharing it. Sometimes I guess it's necessary to tell the whole story so others might get even the smallest sense of how truly horrible it is. The word "horrible" doesn't even begin to describe what you went through.

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No, polygamy isn't rape. THIS is rape. [View all] Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 OP

Post removed Post removed Jul 2015 #1

Post removed Post removed Jul 2015 #2

How, well, expected. Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #4

If you're trying to insult me somehow, I guess I'm not following. Sheldon Cooper Jul 2015 #8

Ok, Sparky, I'll spell it out. Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #10

Gee thanks, Hoss. Sheldon Cooper Jul 2015 #12

Polygamy is not rape. thesquanderer Jul 2015 #26

Thank you. eggplant Jul 2015 #56

Well said. Can't believe you had to explain that. cui bono Jul 2015 #129

It's damned strange JackInGreen Jul 2015 #139

Perhaps, but then some monogamy is rape as well. Maedhros Jul 2015 #84

don't particularly see the need to hide your post but it's not rape PatrynXX Jul 2015 #134

First, my best to you. I am glad you are doing well, and that your rapist boston bean Jul 2015 #14

Yes there is. GeorgeGist Jul 2015 #22

pretty much Kevin from WI Jul 2015 #28

Well, there are homophobic and sexist/misogynist basis in these boston bean Jul 2015 #33

Agreed Kevin from WI Jul 2015 #47

But many times, the woman does not have a choice... boston bean Jul 2015 #54

^ n/t BlancheSplanchnik Jul 2015 #72

Why does poly have to have a female Kevin from WI Jul 2015 #86

In terms of this discussion, it was about females. Why can't it be. boston bean Jul 2015 #88

So are you against marriage equality for poly couples in the USA for consenting adults? Kevin from WI Jul 2015 #92

I don't think I ever said such a thing. nt boston bean Jul 2015 #93

No one is tip-toeing around it, it's a red herring Lordquinton Jul 2015 #117

It is not the exact same problem. boston bean Jul 2015 #122

I think you need to educate yourself about what poly relationships are Lordquinton Jul 2015 #138

many times women in monagamist marriages do not have a choice as to when to have sex uppityperson Jul 2015 #104

right, that would go without saying, but glad you did. boston bean Jul 2015 #108

no, sorry, have been on and off, reading and not going to research as time is limited uppityperson Jul 2015 #109

I'm not looking for "proof", I would like to understand the context.. boston bean Jul 2015 #110

many times women in monogamist marriages do not have a choice as to when to have sex. oberliner Jul 2015 #142

I am just dumbstruck with incredulity at some of the responses you have received in this thread. Nuclear Unicorn Jul 2015 #18

Agreed. Someone on this thread was actually advocating the rape by a barb wired Akicita Jul 2015 #99

nt Whatthe_Firetruck Jul 2015 #127

Welcome to DU. That "nt" is generally placed in the reply title when there is No Text in the body uppityperson Jul 2015 #156

Right, noted. Thought it meant 'no title' =) /nt Whatthe_Firetruck Jul 2015 #159

Post removed Post removed Jul 2015 #3

As has been explained TIME AND TIME AND TIME AGAIN Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #5

Not all of it, but a huge percentage of it is. kcr Jul 2015 #19

I think there are WAY more consensual polygamous Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #21

and -I- think there are way more abusive polygamous relationships that involve rape. KittyWampus Jul 2015 #27

Why do you think that? Are you just guessing? n/t kcr Jul 2015 #126

I conduct surveys for a living. Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #130

Okay. And? kcr Jul 2015 #151

The surveys are for the U.S. Census Bureau Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #152

Okay. But that doesn't answer the question, so kcr Jul 2015 #154

@alarimer, what the fuck is wrong with you? Quackers Jul 2015 #95

In days past that would have been Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #96

From the "Stalin was an atheist so all atheists are as evil as Stalin" school of argument? brooklynite Jul 2015 #13

Exactly Kevin from WI Jul 2015 #30

Or "Hitler was a vegetarian, therefore..." /nt demwing Jul 2015 #66

Well, THAT of course goes without saying... brooklynite Jul 2015 #67

gosh damn it I am a vegetarian too Kevin from WI Jul 2015 #87

You are correct. BKH70041 Jul 2015 #6

Isn't it rape if underage children are involved? Nitram Jul 2015 #55

WTF does that have to do with anything? eggplant Jul 2015 #58

Calm down, I'm just suggesting that some people may have equated /conflated polygamy with.. Nitram Jul 2015 #61

Sex with an underage child is rape, no matter if they are monogamous, poly, or whatever uppityperson Jul 2015 #105

Exactly my point. Nitram Jul 2015 #145

This is exactly the crock o shitthat I was pissed about here... pipoman Jul 2015 #7

Sometimes you gotta say what needs saying, even though you know it'll be hidden. uppityperson Jul 2015 #106

I hadn't had a post hidden for well over a year... pipoman Jul 2015 #120

Thank you for being amazingly brave! luvspeas Jul 2015 #9

Yes, rape is rape and can happen in all sorts of relationships Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #11

I wanted to say something madokie Jul 2015 #15

Thanks, madokie. Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #16

I no longer will allow either to appear on my monitor madokie Jul 2015 #20

Yes it does do something for me. Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #24

. madokie Jul 2015 #25

Always plcdude Jul 2015 #63

I wanna echo this Plucketeer Jul 2015 #101

Thank you for reporting that SOB to the police. That was courageous of you. raccoon Jul 2015 #17

It's up to each individual rape victim whether or not they want Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #23

+1 jonno99 Jul 2015 #42

Thank you for trying to bring some sense to the dialogue Hydra Jul 2015 #29

That took a lot of courage for you to Ilsa Jul 2015 #31

Your experience was horrific amuse bouche Jul 2015 #32

Ah, I've been ruffling feathers around here Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #34

OMG! What a hideous experience! calimary Jul 2015 #35

Oh, thanks, calimary, Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #37

Thank you for calling bullshit. You need a bullhorn for all the bullshit around here lately. Enthusiast Jul 2015 #80

Thank you! TM99 Jul 2015 #36

. . . Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #39

I became a therapist in part TM99 Jul 2015 #43

Thank you Le Taz Hot for your post Kevin from WI Jul 2015 #38

Thanks, hon. Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #40

The person who replied that you made this up.. Duppers Jul 2015 #41

Thanks so much for sharing your story. We found out last year that a member jonno99 Jul 2015 #44

10! Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #48

Thank you jonno99 Jul 2015 #57

I believe that there are polygamous couples where no one is oppressed, however, i don't think that's La Lioness Priyanka Jul 2015 #45

because the women and young women in those scenarios are no free to say no- KittyWampus Jul 2015 #51

I believe, if I am reading and following correctly.. boston bean Jul 2015 #52

aah! i get it now. La Lioness Priyanka Jul 2015 #64

Depends on the point of reference and sub-group dynamics. haele Jul 2015 #116

Polyamory is fine. Institutionalized patriarchy as exemplified by polygamy not so much nt riderinthestorm Jul 2015 #124

that's my point. i have no issues with polyamory but institutionalized polygamy and bigamy La Lioness Priyanka Jul 2015 #149

I believe that there are monogamous couples where no one is oppressed, however, i don't think that's Lordquinton Jul 2015 #118

actually, that's not really true. monogamous marriages are pretty new La Lioness Priyanka Jul 2015 #148

Ugh, what a terrifying and horrible experience. prayin4rain Jul 2015 #46

I was trying to say that not all polymarraige sex is non-consensual. Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #50

That makes sense and I agree with you. prayin4rain Jul 2015 #62

K/R KG Jul 2015 #49

I am truly sorry for your experience but marital rape happens too riderinthestorm Jul 2015 #53

I'm not diminishing the experience of marital rape, Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #60

The issue of consent is of crucial importance with sex riderinthestorm Jul 2015 #65

This. nt msanthrope Jul 2015 #97

Monogamy hasn't worked well for women and children in reality. Lordquinton Jul 2015 #119

Polyamory is fine. Institutionalized patriarchy as exemplified by polygamy not so much nt riderinthestorm Jul 2015 #123

And the two are easily distinguised Lordquinton Jul 2015 #137

This JackInGreen Jul 2015 #141

Thanks for sharing that LittleGirl Jul 2015 #59

For two years after that Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #68

Thanks. LittleGirl Jul 2015 #75

Thank you, La Taz Jack Rabbit Jul 2015 #69

FUCK THE GODDAMMED RAPISTS AND THEIR DEFENDERS!!!!! BlancheSplanchnik Jul 2015 #70

There ya go! Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #71

I agree with you completely Akicita Jul 2015 #89

I am truly sorry that you had to go through that ordeal rock Jul 2015 #73

Thank you tavalon Jul 2015 #74

I conduct surveys for the government Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #77

"When it isn't consensual then any forcible sexual encounter in any framework is rape." snort Jul 2015 #79

This ought to be at the top of the greatest - TBF Jul 2015 #76

Thank youbest comment of the week on the poly subject. craigmatic Jul 2015 #78

condolences timdog44 Jul 2015 #81

. . . Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #82

K&R LittleBlue Jul 2015 #83

Consensual sex is not rape no matter how bizarre it is to some of us. Cleita Jul 2015 #85

+1 Tatiana La Belle Jul 2015 #128

Rape isn't about sex any more than hitting someone in the head with a hammer is about carpentry. Spitfire of ATJ Jul 2015 #90

All I gotta say is d_legendary1 Jul 2015 #91

Poster # 2 is also a rape victim. I hope you don't mean she should choke on a pretzel. boston bean Jul 2015 #94

This message was self-deleted by its author Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #98

I also agree it was a bogus hide. Polygamy as practiced today, erases women's choice riderinthestorm Jul 2015 #102

Yep, and a rape victim punished here on DU for speaking her mind about it. boston bean Jul 2015 #103

Well other DUers want her to choke on a pretzel riderinthestorm Jul 2015 #111

That's true too. disturbing to say the least. nt boston bean Jul 2015 #114

Can you elaborate on how it erases women's choice Mojorabbit Jul 2015 #132

Im not leaving out the cults, Islam or Mormonism riderinthestorm Jul 2015 #150

She may be a victim, but it doesn't give her the right to d_legendary1 Jul 2015 #146

"may be a victim" WTH?? boston bean Jul 2015 #157

Should I replace it with "Though she is a victim" d_legendary1 Jul 2015 #158

Someone almost had a sadz oneshooter Jul 2015 #113

Yaaaooosaaa!!! d_legendary1 Jul 2015 #147

Kudos to you for having the strength and clarity to share this. lostnfound Jul 2015 #100

If I really commented on any polygamy thread get the red out Jul 2015 #107

I fail to see the "polygamy = rape" connection as well NickB79 Jul 2015 #112

Rape is being forced to have sex, perform sexual acts, threat of sexual force, rape of the mind Dont call me Shirley Jul 2015 #115

No arguments from me. Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #131

That is so true. Truly consenting adults can have sex with as many consenting adults as they want. Dont call me Shirley Jul 2015 #155

Rape has nothing to do with sex. n/t jtuck004 Jul 2015 #133

Sorry to hear this... Lithos Jul 2015 #121

Thanks for spelling it out like that. Babel_17 Jul 2015 #125

Thank you JackInGreen Jul 2015 #135

The Bravest Post I've Seen On DU... WillyT Jul 2015 #136

WillieT Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #143

After reading this, I cannot get over all of the hidden message by jury... MrMickeysMom Jul 2015 #140

Thankfully, I can only see a couple of them. Le Taz Hot Jul 2015 #144

Kicked and recommeded. Uncle Joe Jul 2015 #153

I can't believe the hijacking of your thread by others who want to deny derail diminish... Hekate Jul 2015 #160