Relocating is not as hard as people believe it is.

[chade]

97. 2 big things

First, I don't think it's fair to assume that everyone is wired the same way, and I don't think it's too much to ask for us as a society to have empathy toward the different ways that people live. I don't really know how, but I always knew from a young age that I needed to live in the city. I grew up in a very small town and had no experience with this type of lifestyle. Now that I live here, I wouldn't dream of moving back. Conversely, my father helped me move to the city when I first got here, and has never, ever been back since. I would consider it the height of cruelty for me to suggest that he should 'move to the city' if he were ever in a jam.

I've considered moving overseas, but I know other people who are thinking of moving back home to be closer to their family after moving away from them. Still other people haven't ever left their extended families. Some couldn't wait to get as far away as possible. None of these choice are the 'right' or 'wrong' one, but they do come into play in big ways in a decision to relocate.

Second, depending on what the situation is, I think people can begin to lose what I'll call "The Sight." I'm sure there's a real psychological word for it that I don't know, but it's similar to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. When you're in a situation where you're living paycheck-to-paycheck, or you have health problems, family issues, or other extenuating circumstances, it becomes increasingly more difficult to think about a bigger solution to your problem, because you're dealing with much more immediate issues. It's like driving on the highway vs. driving in a city. On the highway, you can turn the cruise control on, listen to the radio, and watch the exit and mileage signs to know where you are relative to your destination. In a city, you have to pay attention to pedestrians, cyclists, narrow lanes, and more traffic in tight blocks, so your full concentration is required all the time, making it much more difficult to plan ahead and figure out where you're going. Once you lose The Sight, it's often challenging to get it back, and 'getting there' requires a really long series of very small steps. Suggesting a seismic lifestyle shift to someone who is struggling to get by can be downright counterproductive.

If anything, we could use a far more developed sense of empathy and respect of other humans' different approaches to life, not less. I certainly wouldn't judge anyone who said that they found relocating difficult, because there are dozens of reasons for that to be the case. Possessions, property, and logistics are often the very least of those problems.