General Discussion

Chan790

(20,176 posts)

233. Well, I can't speak for Katashi...

Sat Jul 11, 2015, 08:58 AM

Jul 2015

but of the many I know of (It is my community after-all)...about 30% are polyandries (1F, 1+ M), a few more are "puppypiles" (quads, closed polyfidelitous circles, etc.--1+ M/F/I:: >3 people) and a few are 3F...so I'd say fairly well.

That's entirely anecdotal...but the general reality is that the meme/trope that committed polyfidelity and polymarriage are disproportionately bad for women and children, excluding those resulting or relating to religious cults, is observationally-false and evidentially-unlikely in a not-cherry-picked subject-pool. Religious polygamists just the highly-visible extremist minority...it's like arguing that monogamous, heterosexual marriage is morally-problematic and citing the Duggars.

If "nobody can convince you..." then you're close-minded and part of the problem. This meme comes to mind:

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Polymarriage deserves a defense [View all] Wella Jul 2015 OP

Why are these polygamy, plural marriage threads popping up everywhere on DU now? Liberal_Stalwart71 Jul 2015 #1

I can't speak to the "killing women" threads. I've neither seen nor participated in them. Wella Jul 2015 #3

Inexplicable? No, people are being labeled rightwingers... Zenlitened Jul 2015 #101

So it's not about the facts or the logic: it's about which story you agree with. Wella Jul 2015 #103

Facts and logic? Sure. Outright lies? No. Zenlitened Jul 2015 #108

We ARE in uncharted territory. Take a look at what Kennedy wrote. Wella Jul 2015 #109

You are distorting Kennedy's words. Zenlitened Jul 2015 #110

I am absolutely NOT distorting them. Wella Jul 2015 #111

Well, the OP'er has posted FOUR of them and keeps them going. KittyWampus Jul 2015 #9

reference the third panel Skittles Jul 2015 #32

Not really. It's very dangerous for women and children. bravenak Jul 2015 #2

There are many Americans in polyarrangements raising children Wella Jul 2015 #4

Of course there haven't been reports; these women are probably being threatened and/or Liberal_Stalwart71 Jul 2015 #5

Any evidence of that? Wella Jul 2015 #8

Plenty of evidence, actually. Baitball Blogger Jul 2015 #162

Lol! I don't deny there are cults out there. But I know several couples in poly relationships. Katashi_itto Jul 2015 #10

How are the women (mis)treated? No one can convince me that somehow these arrangements are Liberal_Stalwart71 Jul 2015 #14

They do quite well. Katashi_itto Jul 2015 #29

One man can fuck around on many "wives" and be sexually free? That's not liberating to women at all. Liberal_Stalwart71 Jul 2015 #34

Wow. They are quite faithful to their own pairing. Katashi_itto Jul 2015 #43

I don't get out much? NO. I just don't agree that men should treat women like sex slaves or Liberal_Stalwart71 Jul 2015 #47

I honestly could give two shits what your convinced about. Katashi_itto Jul 2015 #52

Well, good for you! I don't give a shit about your relationship. That's a private thing. Keep that Liberal_Stalwart71 Jul 2015 #82

Relationships are now a private thing, "shit" that must be kept secret? Fumesucker Jul 2015 #118

So you are saying you are unwilling to listen to anyone laundry_queen Jul 2015 #74

You mad? I don't agree with women being oppressed and will NEVER support that. Liberal_Stalwart71 Jul 2015 #83

Just not alot of Katashi_itto Jul 2015 #121

I will never support women being oppressed either. laundry_queen Jul 2015 #141

I think a lot of people have no idea what modern polymarriage is about. Wella Jul 2015 #59

Thanks, yeah its like talking to Katashi_itto Jul 2015 #120

No kidding. Wella Jul 2015 #123

Yep, its the same "I got mine so fuck everyone else." Scratch the surface of a lot of the Katashi_itto Jul 2015 #125

I can see that. Someone just said that "bigamy" shouldn't be legalized. Wella Jul 2015 #127

Yeah not sure what you would call it. Katashi_itto Jul 2015 #131

Why does it have to be multiple wives? Travis_0004 Jul 2015 #67

That's just crazy talk! tazkcmo Jul 2015 #156

I admit I don't know a lot of poly folks. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Jul 2015 #153

Well, I can't speak for Katashi... Chan790 Jul 2015 #233

Post removed Post removed Jul 2015 #238

How does that apply to a relationship of one woman with two men? eridani Jul 2015 #115

Most polygamy in the USA is within those 'weird cult people' communities. bravenak Jul 2015 #6

Religious-based polygamy, yes. But polyamory, especially among progressives and libertarians? No Wella Jul 2015 #11

No. If we legalize it for them then we cannot say shit when the fdls starts more polygamy towns. bravenak Jul 2015 #16

True. But it will be OPEN, not hidden, and that tends to reduce the power of abusers Wella Jul 2015 #21

No thanks. The risks to the women and children are too great. bravenak Jul 2015 #25

You need to check out the million or so Americans practicing polyamory Wella Jul 2015 #33

Uh huh. bravenak Jul 2015 #42

Polyamory: Personal stories Wella Jul 2015 #60

And some ex-slaves missed the Plantation. bravenak Jul 2015 #61

These women went into polyamory by choice Wella Jul 2015 #62

Stockholm syndrome. bravenak Jul 2015 #66

Nonsense! They were looking for different partners and sexual experiences. Wella Jul 2015 #68

I'm fine with polyamory. Just not plural marriage as a system. bravenak Jul 2015 #70

Or maybe a "domestic partnership"? Wella Jul 2015 #71

Not even that. bravenak Jul 2015 #72

Wow. Wella Jul 2015 #75

They don't give a shit about women or children. Just their dicks. Liberal_Stalwart71 Jul 2015 #36

Exactly. bravenak Jul 2015 #41

Check out this link, the OP has very different language about LGBT equality.... Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #151

Wella also doesn't like boycotts against anti gay businesses. bravenak Jul 2015 #160

Of course not. Wella has been very clearly not on the side of marriage equality on several Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #168

Wella has developed a strange affinity for polygamy that I have never seen before. bravenak Jul 2015 #170

This was the one: bravenak Jul 2015 #201

There are polyamorous bisexual women who have a male and female partner Wella Jul 2015 #56

Your incredible bigotry is astounding. TM99 Jul 2015 #58

Thank you. Wella Jul 2015 #63

You are welcome. TM99 Jul 2015 #76

well said! nt Mojorabbit Jul 2015 #77

Excellent post. I wish you and your family well. (eom) StevieM Jul 2015 #78

BRIL. thank you. JackInGreen Jul 2015 #112

If they just cared about their dicks, NorthCarolinaL Jul 2015 #65

I agree: polyamory requires multiple commitments. Wella Jul 2015 #80

What about polyamorous women? You seem to be assuming that it is only men. StevieM Jul 2015 #79

Actually, it's likely that the risk-mitigation is in the direction of legalization. Chan790 Jul 2015 #235

Hmm... Orrex Jul 2015 #48

Most polygamy in the USA is among Muslims oberliner Jul 2015 #12

I consider most religious people cult people. bravenak Jul 2015 #20

Figures and stats, please. Wella Jul 2015 #22

Estimates range from 50,000 to 100,000 people. oberliner Jul 2015 #26

Thank you. This refers to traditional religious polygamy and it's done illegally and in secret Wella Jul 2015 #31

That is really interesting oberliner Jul 2015 #35

I think we're all going to be doing a lot more learning Wella Jul 2015 #39

This message was self-deleted by its author oberliner Jul 2015 #38

No reported violence that we know of. 840high Jul 2015 #57

When you say "weird cult people" asturias31 Jul 2015 #107

asturias31 Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #220

The "they can sign a contract" is the same crap homophobes said too... Lee-Lee Jul 2015 #144

No it's, not the same. People are born gay. People choose how many other people they want to schtup underahedgerow Jul 2015 #181

The argument in that last paragraph sure is weak kcr Jul 2015 #7

Monogamy has been pretty terrible for women for centuries oberliner Jul 2015 #15

Life has been terrible for women for centuries. kcr Jul 2015 #17

If women given consent freely then it would not be shackling oberliner Jul 2015 #30

Is it okay to pay people below minimum wage if they consent? kcr Jul 2015 #40

This is with respect to marriage oberliner Jul 2015 #44

There's suggestion and then there's the reality of what would actually happen. kcr Jul 2015 #45

I understand where you are coming from oberliner Jul 2015 #49

Okay. But why should we destroy the current model of marriage kcr Jul 2015 #51

you're confusing patriarchy with monogamy. KittyWampus Jul 2015 #19

Would you be ok with polyamory if the overriding system was not patriarchal? Wella Jul 2015 #64

You continue to use the world 'polyamory' when you mean 'polygamy'. The words are not Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #143

I am sorry but you are wrong here. TM99 Jul 2015 #148

You do know that the OP has suggested that standing with LGBT people is 'standing against God'? Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #155

That is bullshit. TM99 Jul 2015 #161

Hey, you are the one who is not speaking of yourself, that is your choice, I assume because you Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #164

If you actually read threads instead of spouting off half cocked TM99 Jul 2015 #165

In three years here you haven't advocated for polygamy AFAIK riderinthestorm Jul 2015 #171

This is the first time TM99 Jul 2015 #179

So you got nothing. Noted. riderinthestorm Jul 2015 #180

Go away. TM99 Jul 2015 #184

Uh huh. Sure you do... nt riderinthestorm Jul 2015 #186

Done. TM99 Jul 2015 #187

well hell just froze over.....you and I agree completely on something. nt msanthrope Jul 2015 #198

Boudries? This is about self advocacy, it's yours to do, no one else's. You have never brought it up Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #189

Blue I am done with your bullshit games. TM99 Jul 2015 #193

TM99 is such a LGBT justice warrior he forgets the Obergefell decision riderinthestorm Jul 2015 #194

Considering Wella was banned for running many accounts the term 'RL persona' might not apply Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #223

In that sense, the OP is wrong. Chan790 Jul 2015 #237

I address Wella, you answer for him. Wella has now been banned as an operator of multiple accounts. Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #232

if the choice is to be married to one man or be one of several wives of one man Skittles Jul 2015 #37

Exactly! No thanks. I value my pussy too much to allow some infected dick in there. No thanks, sir! Liberal_Stalwart71 Jul 2015 #50

I.....er......well, I didn't think of it THAT WAY Skittles Jul 2015 #53

Agreed on all front Hutzpa Jul 2015 #13

And some here feels it is okay to continue the degradation of women by mixing it with polygamy. Liberal_Stalwart71 Jul 2015 #18

You're talking to a society that have pimps that controls Hutzpa Jul 2015 #24

Can we stick to the topic, please, and stop with the straw men. We are discussing polygamy/plural Liberal_Stalwart71 Jul 2015 #28

Something to read: Wella Jul 2015 #27

There are gays and bisexuals in polyamorous situations, but also many straights Wella Jul 2015 #23

Your current shtick is tiresome. tammywammy Jul 2015 #46

don't you understand, tammywammy? Skittles Jul 2015 #54

And is that a bad thing that I support polymarriage? Wella Jul 2015 #69

You suddenly constantly post about polygamy, but you were not a strong advocate for marriage Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #145

yup ibegurpard Jul 2015 #147

I'll just leave this here... zappaman Jul 2015 #200

*snort* Starry Messenger Jul 2015 #208

If your husband... Whiskeytide Jul 2015 #55

No Hekate Jul 2015 #73

these are trolls baiting DUers AZ Progressive Jul 2015 #81

Baiting them to do what? To support polymarriage? Wella Jul 2015 #87

Good spot to insert the fact that Wella has been banned for operateing multiple accounts Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #229

Thanks for this Wella. JackInGreen Jul 2015 #84

You're welcome. Wella Jul 2015 #85

Fingers Crossed JackInGreen Jul 2015 #86

If they don't clobber us first. Wella Jul 2015 #89

Remember the rules we fight for with everything else JackInGreen Jul 2015 #92

Good point. Wella Jul 2015 #94

It reminds me JackInGreen Jul 2015 #97

People are afraid that the pie is limited Wella Jul 2015 #99

So work to change hearts and minds. ibegurpard Jul 2015 #88

Which one of the people JackInGreen Jul 2015 #90

That's the other false equivalence argument that comes up ibegurpard Jul 2015 #93

I always thought the fallacy in thought there JackInGreen Jul 2015 #98

sorry I have no interest in helping you promote ibegurpard Jul 2015 #100

You obviously didn't read OP or any of the information provided there JackInGreen Jul 2015 #102

"A philosophy that has been typically objectifying, degrading, and damaging to women" Erich Bloodaxe BSN Jul 2015 #157

"Piggyback on gay marriage"? The legal arguments have a great deal of overlap. Wella Jul 2015 #91

make the case ibegurpard Jul 2015 #95

The social case--the legal one has pretty much already been made. Wella Jul 2015 #96

No it hasnt ibegurpard Jul 2015 #106

You're talking again about the social case, not about the legal argumentation Wella Jul 2015 #117

My understanding is that TM99 Jul 2015 #134

Why don't you start an OP ibegurpard Jul 2015 #146

Wow. TM99 Jul 2015 #149

you have a.completely warped view of bisexuality ibegurpard Jul 2015 #182

Are you obtuse? TM99 Jul 2015 #185

Hmmm...you came right out and said it - good. I've come to the same opinion... nt jonno99 Jul 2015 #188

I'm not the obtuse one here. ibegurpard Jul 2015 #209

Oh FFS! TM99 Jul 2015 #210

I wasn't the one conflating ibegurpard Jul 2015 #217

You are too funny. TM99 Jul 2015 #218

Poloponies deserve a defense pinboy3niner Jul 2015 #104

Polymarriage deserves a defense? Maybe. But that defense is not and will never be Betty Karlson Jul 2015 #105

Both gay marriage and polymarriage are based on extending marriage rights Wella Jul 2015 #113

How dare you? How dare you take that tone with me? Betty Karlson Jul 2015 #116

Hit a nerve, did I? Now you're the excluder of the rest of us. Wella Jul 2015 #119

You, madam/ sir, are a homophobe for compairing homosexuality with bigamy. Betty Karlson Jul 2015 #122

You are a polyphobe. Using the word "bigamy" for polymarriage Wella Jul 2015 #124

I'd rather be called a polyphobe than give any credence to the homophobic memes Betty Karlson Jul 2015 #126

Your polyphobic memes are insulting and I'm frankly tired of them. Wella Jul 2015 #128

You are taking away my dignity by implying that my committed relationship Betty Karlson Jul 2015 #130

Dig this thread: Wella has a whole different point of view going on...in a thread standing with us Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #159

Ha! Now there is a clear right-wing talking point of ever I heard one. Betty Karlson Jul 2015 #196

Let's take a look at a comment from you about same sex marriage from the OP 'A Message to Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #150

You sure about that? SpartanDem Jul 2015 #206

That doesn't change the fact that it was wrong for the right wing to suggest Betty Karlson Jul 2015 #214

You're still on this tripe? romanic Jul 2015 #114

You win for the most narcissistic post on the thread. Wella Jul 2015 #129

Why are you spamming us here with all these threads on polygamy though? RiverLover Jul 2015 #132

Whatever prizes you got. romanic Jul 2015 #142

so how many adults living under your roof currently? snooper2 Jul 2015 #167

+1 bravenak Jul 2015 #133

So if a bisexual man wishes TM99 Jul 2015 #135

I think JackInGreen Jul 2015 #137

I don't disagree. TM99 Jul 2015 #138

Standing together JackInGreen Jul 2015 #139

Very true! TM99 Jul 2015 #140

Um, No DiverDave Jul 2015 #136

^This^ GoneOffShore Jul 2015 #154

Sadly romanic Jul 2015 #166

My problem is not with polygamy, but with the timing. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Jul 2015 #152

A thread to consider: In a thread titled 'A mesage to the DU LGBT Community' the OP had very Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #158

Wella's been here since August 2014 so less than a year riderinthestorm Jul 2015 #163

Good find^^^ everyone read this ^^^ Starry Messenger Jul 2015 #169

Why? it is taken out of context in an attempt at a gotcha Egnever Jul 2015 #177

You should read the entire thread, not just the parts excerpted, get all the context that exists Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #192

This is what became of the OP, the guy you are maligning me for. Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #221

DUrec. PowerToThePeople Jul 2015 #172

Says who? WinkyDink Jul 2015 #173

right wing trolls ibegurpard Jul 2015 #207

No you lazy bastards. You don't get to piggy-back on nigh a century of GLBT progress whatthehey Jul 2015 #174

Stated perfectly. bravenak Jul 2015 #175

Sounds like a passage from Ted Cruz's book. n/t Calista241 Jul 2015 #176

What does that mean, exactly? Orrex Jul 2015 #191

You seem very eager to regulate the behavior of consenting adults SpartanDem Jul 2015 #204

Well, that's an outright lie. Care to try again? Orrex Jul 2015 #215

Don't give a sparrow's fart about your behavior whatthehey Jul 2015 #219

Hi, I'm posting on Saturday the 10th to let you know that the OP you are defending was posted Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #225

+a million Starry Messenger Jul 2015 #178

Your bigotry is noted. backscatter712 Jul 2015 #199

Does GLBT progress stand alone? ... JustABozoOnThisBus Jul 2015 #239

Better Believe It!!...nt SidDithers Jul 2015 #183

This one's fooling nobody. NuclearDem Jul 2015 #197

Not interested. Hell Hath No Fury Jul 2015 #190

The governments of at least 2 ohheckyeah Jul 2015 #195

I can't speak for the other state Hydra Jul 2015 #202

What did you get done? ohheckyeah Jul 2015 #203

Not me personally Hydra Jul 2015 #205

I was disappointed, too. ohheckyeah Jul 2015 #212

then polymarriage advocates can defend it ibegurpard Jul 2015 #211

Are you asking us to agree with you? akbacchus_BC Jul 2015 #213

Not one person in this or any other thread TM99 Jul 2015 #216

Your pal Wella has been PPR'd for running multiple sock accounts and posting under them while Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #222

That has no bearing on me or the other polys TM99 Jul 2015 #226

Well, 'the others' were also wella, several of them. And the rest of you could not tell a faked up Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #228

Yeah, I am so fucking done with you. TM99 Jul 2015 #230

Actual polyamorous LGBT people would not have done this mean ass crap, that's why a bunch of Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #234

Buh bye... SidDithers Jul 2015 #224

The poster was apparently a polyaccountist... n/t Godhumor Jul 2015 #227

Nicely done... SidDithers Jul 2015 #231

Oh snap. LAGC Jul 2015 #236