General Discussion

CajunBlazer

(5,648 posts)

68. Are parents no longer responsible for their small children?

Tue Jul 21, 2015, 03:14 PM

Jul 2015

Over the last few years it certainly seems like more parents seem think it is okay for their children to run wild and/or cause prolonged disturbances in public places. These parents seem to be totally oblivious to their children's behavior. And I thoroughly understand that dealing with some children is more challenging than others. I also understand that in certain situations, children, especially very young children are reacting, well like children regardless of how well they have been raised. However, some parents of children with unchecked disturbing behavior seem to have the attitude that they are just children and that's what children do and since they have decided to put up with it, so should everyone around them.

No, that is only what children do if their parents allow it. Parents are responsible for the behavior of young children. I think that most reasonable adults understand that children will get out of hand occasionally and are very patient with such situations, especially if the parent is doing his/her best to deal with it. What is not acceptable is for the parents to ignore the situation as if it wasn't happening rather than dealing with it or removing the child from the premise.

Allowing a child to fuss and cry for forty minutes in a public place without remedial action is totally unacceptable, regardless of the situation. If the parents were not pleased with the service at the restaurant, they should have taken it up with owner or left; it certainly is not an excuse to allow a child to disturb all of the other patrons of the restaurant.

Frankly if I had been one of the the other dinners, I would have blamed the owner for not intervening. Should she have yelled at the child? No, but I can understand her frustration. And the child stopped crying; that should tell us something. Either the parents did not try to deal with the child's crying or the child has no respect for them because she is spoiled rotten. Even if I am totally off base with that last comment, nothing excuses the parents for not taking the child out of the restaurant until she calmed down.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

149 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Crying kid in diner ignites Facebook war between mom, owner [View all] Miles Archer Jul 2015 OP

Ms Carson, mother of the child, is not a very good parent if she knowingly ordered a slow dish. Shrike47 Jul 2015 #1

Except pancakes aren't a slow dish. pnwmom Jul 2015 #27

If she was the only customer maybe yeoman6987 Jul 2015 #76

I read enough of the diner owner's comments to not trust anything she says. n/t pnwmom Jul 2015 #80

I'll Keep that in mind yeoman6987 Jul 2015 #84

I've worked the grill in a diner Nac Mac Feegle Jul 2015 #70

Three 12 inch pancakes?!?!? That is an ENORMOUS amount of food! Coventina Jul 2015 #2

Right, even ditch diggers would have trouble putting that away. Warpy Jul 2015 #132

a pancake should take less than 5 minutes to cook. something else going on here nt msongs Jul 2015 #3

I can order grits down here Aerows Jul 2015 #5

Some might consider grits to be child abuse. Buns_of_Fire Jul 2015 #38

Wait! Wut? nt Are_grits_groceries Jul 2015 #41

Oops. 'Scuse me. Buns_of_Fire Jul 2015 #44

Oh hey!!!!! Creamy grits with butter and black pepper and maybe a little cheese - oh my. djean111 Jul 2015 #87

Exactly. n/t pnwmom Jul 2015 #28

these were 12 inches JI7 Jul 2015 #36

Have you ever cooked pancakes before? Ms. Toad Jul 2015 #112

Yeah, 75 other breakfast eaters also in that diner. Do you think their order should have been put Bluenorthwest Jul 2015 #42

Regular pancakes, yes. xmas74 Jul 2015 #91

Not likely, with this menu. Ms. Toad Jul 2015 #115

That's what I figured. xmas74 Jul 2015 #133

3 12" pancakes for a 2-year old?! cvoogt Jul 2015 #4

Maybe the pancakes are extra fluffy and she was going to use them to soundproof the little tike. Nuclear Unicorn Jul 2015 #40

sound-dampening pancakes cvoogt Jul 2015 #125

This message was self-deleted by its author 1000words Jul 2015 #6

I'm gonna go out on a limb here, and speculate you don't have much experience with 2 year olds. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #10

This message was self-deleted by its author 1000words Jul 2015 #12

They should have removed the kid from the diner, absolutely. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #14

This message was self-deleted by its author 1000words Jul 2015 #19

Fair enough. Sorry, I get a little defensive when it sounds like people talk about the need to Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #21

This message was self-deleted by its author 1000words Jul 2015 #25

Not exactly true for everyone ann--- Jul 2015 #34

And they often grow up calling another two year old as such also... LanternWaste Jul 2015 #67

Everyone is wrong here except for the kid but the kid is the one who had a stranger yell at her CBGLuthier Jul 2015 #7

No the 'special snowflake' is a 'brat', obviously the 2 YR OLD hasnt been disciplined enough Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #11

Forty minutes is also too long for any kid to be crying in public. Paka Jul 2015 #13

I believe I implied the parents were at fault also but if you think that is how CBGLuthier Jul 2015 #15

I agree with you. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #16

When my kid was young and threw a fit anywhere in public and we couldn't calm her down, we left. killbotfactory Jul 2015 #23

Right there with you. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #24

You are so right! dem in texas Jul 2015 #52

I agree with you completely that children should be treated with respect. Paka Jul 2015 #30

40 minutes is way to long to have to wait for an order of 3 pancakes. pnwmom Jul 2015 #29

It says the parents didn't help her eat tammywammy Jul 2015 #111

Agree with you. The parents did not give a darn for the other patrons. Paper Roses Jul 2015 #104

it didn't take 40 minutes to make the pancakes. the parents didn't help her eat them. nt magical thyme Jul 2015 #39

If a kid was crying for 40 minutes, then the parents needed to take said child outside bigwillq Jul 2015 #8

Good for the owner. zappaman Jul 2015 #9

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #17

I can't speak for Maine, so, scratch that. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #18

Lol. zappaman Jul 2015 #20

Well, I can speak for Maine Gormy Cuss Jul 2015 #92

It would appear that the Washington Post agrees with you. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #143

If the screen caps I've seen are true, she referred to the child as a 'retard' on Gormy Cuss Jul 2015 #146

Agree. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #149

I was born in Massachusetts and spent my first 16 years there... Miles Archer Jul 2015 #137

The owner should have LiberalElite Jul 2015 #22

Yes, she should have asked them to leave. murielm99 Jul 2015 #26

She asked them to leave more than once Go Vols Jul 2015 #61

Well perhaps the worker was ok in this yeoman6987 Jul 2015 #78

Then I think she should have called the cops - LiberalElite Jul 2015 #109

Imagine how she would have been vilified for that! "Cops called on sobbing 2 year old" Coventina Jul 2015 #116

That headline would be twisting the facts too nt LiberalElite Jul 2015 #117

I think it more than likely it would be spun that way. If only to get people to read or click on Coventina Jul 2015 #118

Yup. I've clicked on a couple of unrelated stories today and then LiberalElite Jul 2015 #119

That's pretty extreme. Paka Jul 2015 #127

IMO the owner had no right to yell at someone else's kid nt LiberalElite Jul 2015 #135

Lotsa blame to go around here. Arkansas Granny Jul 2015 #31

Yeah, and your advice is great for "Children", not so much babies and toddlers. A 2 yr. old Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #33

I did not criticize the child. It was the adults in the situation who were responsible. Arkansas Granny Jul 2015 #37

I disagree. I think expecting a 2 yo not to melt down under certain circumstances isnt realistic. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #46

I agree that the parents fucked up in this situation, as did the restaurant owner who yelled at the Arkansas Granny Jul 2015 #53

If you're going to lecture me about parenting, be prepared for me to lecture you back. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #55

You keep tossing James Dobson's name out there. He's talking about punishment, which is not what Arkansas Granny Jul 2015 #63

Yeah, whatever. You don't "teach" a 2 year old not to melt down. It's their wiring. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #69

I'm kind of amazed by adults who..... CajunBlazer Jul 2015 #81

Thanks for your opinion. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #82

Actually, no... CajunBlazer Jul 2015 #88

Well, welcome to DU. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #89

Thank you CajunBlazer, Paka Jul 2015 #129

Actually, you do teach them not to melt down. xmas74 Jul 2015 #95

Thank you. That is exactly what I was talking about. Arkansas Granny Jul 2015 #97

Yeah, I get that all the time, too. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #100

The servers would always compliment my daughter, xmas74 Jul 2015 #101

The parents in this situation handled it badly, we agree on that. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #98

Do you only have one child? gollygee Jul 2015 #113

You take the kid outside until he clams down. Travis_0004 Jul 2015 #126

Which is exactly what I've been saying throughout this thread. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #130

Two years old is an important time to teach a child behavior. Paka Jul 2015 #128

No, dearie ann--- Jul 2015 #32

if we can ban kids from diners can we also ban old people from supermarket checkout lines? Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #35

Most of the people I see with coupons are young mother types. cwydro Jul 2015 #43

Not me. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #47

Are they screaming and crying? kiva Jul 2015 #45

And then she wanted to cash in lottery tickets and buy more..... bettyellen Jul 2015 #48

see, you know what I'm talking about. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #49

They don't always have the tell tale sales circular in hand.... bettyellen Jul 2015 #50

The overstuffed manila folder, that's what I watch for. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #51

I asses the line for the courtesy counter- are they merely a smoker or is this a gambler who bettyellen Jul 2015 #56

Yes, or the interminable debate about the expired 50 cent coupon Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #57

Yep. My grocery is literally next door, so I shop small and often. The people there smirk as they bettyellen Jul 2015 #60

Then they write a fucking check! A CHECK in 2015, FFS, like they're Amish or something! PeaceNikki Jul 2015 #66

... Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #71

and don't take the checkbook out until everything is bagged and of course phylny Jul 2015 #108

And then they write the check for an even dollar amount... Lizzie Poppet Jul 2015 #141

I'm far from Amish, Paka Jul 2015 #131

I hate to be that old lady counting out the pennies for the cashier but sometimes.... CTyankee Jul 2015 #103

Im sure you're fine. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #122

I go over my coupons pretty carefully and have them readily at hand... CTyankee Jul 2015 #139

We covered this topic in a parenting class taught by a child psychologist Divernan Jul 2015 #54

the best way to stop a toddler from having a screaming fit notadmblnd Jul 2015 #58

I've been in numerous restaurants where the owner LibDemAlways Jul 2015 #59

She asked them to leave a few times Go Vols Jul 2015 #62

Absolutely agree. Parents were cruel to the patrons AND their kid Nevernose Jul 2015 #72

Agree, there are places that should be baby/toddler free zones. LibDemAlways Jul 2015 #75

DU loves shaming "kid haters" ProudToBeBlueInRhody Jul 2015 #73

In my post that ignited the flame war, I started LibDemAlways Jul 2015 #77

I once had a superball thrown at my head in a restaurant shrike Jul 2015 #106

Oh come on davidpdx Jul 2015 #138

Okay. You wanted to know. shrike Jul 2015 #142

Plus one thing I never thought of is that if he threw it hard enough davidpdx Jul 2015 #145

The child should have been fed. Low blood sugar. Hypoglycemia. Manifestor_of_Light Jul 2015 #64

They're all at fault, in my opinion. BlueStater Jul 2015 #65

Are parents no longer responsible for their small children? CajunBlazer Jul 2015 #68

In general I don't believe in taking children out to eat with you Capt. Obvious Jul 2015 #74

Lol. So true. yeoman6987 Jul 2015 #79

In that scenario the problem isn't the child. It's the lame ass "children's menu" offerings and Guy Whitey Corngood Jul 2015 #83

My daughter and I usually shared one meal. xmas74 Jul 2015 #99

I've seen it done well Retrograde Jul 2015 #110

Sounds like solid advice to me davidpdx Jul 2015 #140

I have a friend whose kids was awful one time at a restaurant. tammywammy Jul 2015 #114

We do that too Capt. Obvious Jul 2015 #136

Well, this is a diner gollygee Jul 2015 #121

Should have taken the kid to Chuckee Cheese. n/t cherokeeprogressive Jul 2015 #123

Then they could have had an outright brawl. roamer65 Jul 2015 #124

You address the parents not the child jberryhill Jul 2015 #85

+1 nt steve2470 Jul 2015 #86

The parents had been addressed several times, to no effect. Coventina Jul 2015 #90

Well now I'm hungry for some pancakes. Kingofalldems Jul 2015 #93

now the media brings us click interviews with, The "SHUT THE FUCK UP" Screamer. Sunlei Jul 2015 #94

Seems to me that all the adults in this particular story Butterbean Jul 2015 #96

Sounds like long waits are a given at this place shrike Jul 2015 #102

They ordered too much food? abelenkpe Jul 2015 #105

When my now 22 yr old was about... 3catwoman3 Jul 2015 #107

Hard to tell which ones were the children without being present. roamer65 Jul 2015 #120

I have eaten in places with unruly kids....screaming, yelling, crying.... chillfactor Jul 2015 #134

Thanks God someone is taking a STAND by SCREAMING at a BABY!! Woo-Hoo!!! Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #144

I see you're still trying to make your points using potty mouth language CajunBlazer Jul 2015 #147

Yep. Warren DeMontague Jul 2015 #148