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abakan

(1,996 posts)

18. "Couldn't help my self, officer"

Reply to grasswire (Original post)

Wed Jul 29, 2015, 05:18 PM

Jul 2015

"That shrub was coming on to me."

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81-y-o CT man arrested for sex with a SHRUBBERY. [View all] grasswire Jul 2015 OP

This message was self-deleted by its author 1000words Jul 2015 #1

Beat me to it.... daleanime Jul 2015 #5

me, too Zorra Jul 2015 #11

now he must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest wiiiiiiiiiiiith quizzle Jul 2015 #27

What is a herring, Alex? hifiguy Jul 2015 #40

I laughed until I had to go pee......nt msanthrope Jul 2015 #65

No! Please! Not the mightiest tree in the forest! I protest! Petrushka Jul 2015 #79

Ha! LittleBlue Jul 2015 #50

First thing that occurred to me! :-) WinkyDink Jul 2015 #85

Ni means ni. n/t PoliticAverse Jul 2015 #2

This message was self-deleted by its author 1000words Jul 2015 #3

DUZY grasswire Jul 2015 #31

Damn I so wanted to quote the Knights who say Ni ! You snooze you lose. Monk06 Jul 2015 #42

You could still quote from Roger the Shrubber. kentauros Jul 2015 #64

I struck gold on post #43 Monk06 Jul 2015 #73

Roger that, you did! kentauros Jul 2015 #74

Bwah!! nolabear Jul 2015 #66

Drop the mic. /thread Initech Jul 2015 #68

He likes a big bush apparently NightWatcher Jul 2015 #4

It's not the size of the bush..... daleanime Jul 2015 #9

someone's gotta do this too: IcyPeas Jul 2015 #6

LOLOLOL LOL LOLL LOL fadedrose Jul 2015 #61

I hope this doesn't result in more Bushes coming into existence! LeftishBrit Jul 2015 #7

To quote Jesse Jackson... PoliticAverse Jul 2015 #10

Not until later did he realize it was poison ivy. lpbk2713 Jul 2015 #8

I swear, honey, I got it from the yard jberryhill Jul 2015 #13

That song was weird at the time jberryhill Jul 2015 #12

Why do these loons always get naked? Warpy Jul 2015 #14

Okay, I'm stumped jberryhill Jul 2015 #15

Through a hole cut into it. Warpy Jul 2015 #16

But how is that pleasurable for the pumpkin? jberryhill Jul 2015 #17

You misunderstand. This is aliteration, not literal. LiberalAndProud Jul 2015 #21

Depends on whose stalks is gourd pinboy3niner Jul 2015 #26

Be careful, you wouldn't want to squash anything. nt msanthrope Jul 2015 #67

I'd butternut say anything about this. Arugula Latte Jul 2015 #77

Vine with me. pinboy3niner Jul 2015 #86

This message was self-deleted by its author 1000words Jul 2015 #19

Stumped, you say. JEB Jul 2015 #94

"Couldn't help my self, officer" abakan Jul 2015 #18

She was a big trees. BainsBane Jul 2015 #20

At his age he has to strike whenever he gets the feeling, at whatever is close to him. nt abakan Jul 2015 #28

probably a relative of mine olddots Jul 2015 #22

Aha! I thought I recognized you... pinboy3niner Jul 2015 #75

Not acceptable. Even if the shrubbery was drunk and wearing a short skirt (nt) Nye Bevan Jul 2015 #23

Or if it was potted. nt pinboy3niner Jul 2015 #24

Was that wrong? bluedigger Jul 2015 #25

it's not a lie....if *you* believe it nt HFRN Jul 2015 #55

was that wrong? restorefreedom Jul 2015 #95

Don't ask us. You have to make your own deciduous. nt pinboy3niner Jul 2015 #97

i think even george costanza restorefreedom Jul 2015 #98

But did the plant consent? Freddie Jul 2015 #29

did he need a blue pill???? 81 and greenery gets him going dembotoz Jul 2015 #30

I was thinking maybe he was confused by those commercials notadmblnd Jul 2015 #52

huh???? grasswire Jul 2015 #70

Gives a whole new meaning to "beating around the bush" pinboy3niner Jul 2015 #32

ewwwwwwwww dixiegrrrrl Jul 2015 #37

not to mention 'wee whacking'...nt Princess Turandot Jul 2015 #72

Sounds like another Florida story, but B Calm Jul 2015 #33

How? What? Ugh. Owl Jul 2015 #34

I kinda would like to see the picture of the bozo with the grill cover. Owl Jul 2015 #35

Not in Florida? Cali_Democrat Jul 2015 #36

Florida Man has close relatives in EVERY state. Buns_of_Fire Jul 2015 #41

Planted their seed far and wide.... daleanime Jul 2015 #59

So the man wanted some bush. moonandsixpence. Jul 2015 #38

In all seriousness the poor man may be suffering from dementia and should not be arrested but sent Jack-o-Lantern Jul 2015 #39

Yes, probably. This thread is sad. MineralMan Jul 2015 #44

thank you!!! exactly what I was going to post. niyad Jul 2015 #53

The shrubbery was just asking for it. Monk06 Jul 2015 #43

LOL. PatrickforO Jul 2015 #51

hahahhahh hhhahaa hhahha fadedrose Jul 2015 #63

Some guys are just really into bush... NuclearDem Jul 2015 #83

Some people need to mind their own business. malokvale77 Jul 2015 #45

That poor bush is gonna be traumatized for life jmowreader Jul 2015 #46

Did anybody bother to ask the bush? malokvale77 Jul 2015 #47

Push, push, in the bush! KamaAina Jul 2015 #48

Oh my gawd ... Arugula Latte Jul 2015 #90

You win. I bow down to you! nt Adrahil Jul 2015 #92

Former Stratford resident here KamaAina Jul 2015 #49

This comes from watching too much Monty Python. Agnosticsherbet Jul 2015 #54

I've heard the shrub was trimmed provacatively HFRN Jul 2015 #56

HHHAA HA Ha haaaa haaaa fadedrose Jul 2015 #62

Isn't that call Beating the Bush. Historic NY Jul 2015 #57

He's been listening to RW nonsense about marriage equality jberryhill Jul 2015 #58

Gees, 81 years old....leave 'im alone fadedrose Jul 2015 #60

Talk about a thorn in your side! Initech Jul 2015 #69

Only a little bushwanking, leaf him alone. betsuni Jul 2015 #71

Shrubbery's actually a comedown. Sexperts say it's anti-climactic after oasis Jul 2015 #76

Yep. Bush still sucks. nt Zorra Jul 2015 #78

This was a prickly situation SummerSnow Jul 2015 #80

His best shot is to plead topiary insanity pinboy3niner Jul 2015 #81

you are a naughty, naughty punster grasswire Jul 2015 #87

Sir, sir, put down the herring! NuclearDem Jul 2015 #82

The man must have dementia. nt raccoon Jul 2015 #84

Dementia and testosterone are a toxic mix. hunter Jul 2015 #99

A $10,000 bond?! Blue_Adept Jul 2015 #88

agreed G_j Jul 2015 #89

Not Florida Man strikes again! Tommy_Carcetti Jul 2015 #91

Poor guy misheard the lecture and decided to try that new-fangled Orgasmic Gardening pinboy3niner Jul 2015 #93

Everyone, just leaf him alone. randome Jul 2015 #96