-ism

[H2O Man]

31. I hear you,

and appreciate your message.

I took the three-day Duluth Model training at a time when I co-facilitated a domestic violence group at the mental health clinic. That group had people referred by the court. It included some very violent men and women.

When efforts are made to create rigid definitions -- really, of any human behavior -- they tend to fit a smaller group that the whole. Yet those rigid definitions break under pressure. For example, a few other people in the group attempted to discuss male victims of domestic violence, the lead presenter of the DM always cut them off. Hence, on the third day, I described a female victim; the lead presenter noted it was a "classic" case of domestic violence, and began addressing the consequences the male needed to face. At that point, I noted the perpetrator was female, as it was a lesbian couple.

Frequently, at least in my experience, group therapy for violent spouses/SOs are divided between male and female. And without question, more males are referred. But I was lucky to work with a young psychologist, and she believed that there were more benefits from having male and female abusers in a group.