General Discussion

missingthebigdog

(1,233 posts)

28. It's the choice of language that is problematic.

Fri Aug 21, 2015, 05:03 PM

Aug 2015

Nobody should doubt that nine month-olds are capable of hitting and playing rough, but the note makes it sound as if this child is getting some kind of gratification out of hurting other kids.

It is appropriate to report that there was a hitting incident, or a biting incident. But reporting that she is smiling while they are crying makes the note about her personality and not about her behavior. The concern seems to be about her reaction to hurting the other kids- not the fact that she hurt them. I doubt that the daycare provider is qualified to make that kind of assessment.

There are some clues here that the writer of the note doesn't "get" where kids this age are developmentally. Nine month-olds usually have to be physically redirected- "using firm voices to tell her it's not ok to hurt her friends" is meaningless to her. The concept of "friends" is beyond her at this point.

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daycare says baby is aggressive (9 months) [View all] Liberal_in_LA Aug 2015 OP

uh oh randys1 Aug 2015 #1

GMTA... pacalo Aug 2015 #10

maybe...its another... yuiyoshida Aug 2015 #83

Or even this... pacalo Aug 2015 #90

What's wrong with the note? frazzled Aug 2015 #2

A 9 month old baby cannot be aggressive. That requires intention. And the only solution pnwmom Aug 2015 #18

A 9-month old baby can hit and bite and scratch frazzled Aug 2015 #22

And that is not aggression. And the solution is to control that baby's interactions pnwmom Aug 2015 #25

Would you send your child to a daycare center Aerows Aug 2015 #65

My child has been bitten by a friend's toddler. pnwmom Aug 2015 #66

Not a friend Aerows Aug 2015 #76

Yes, if I liked the teachers, the daycare, and thought they were correctly pnwmom Aug 2015 #78

Message auto-removed Name removed Aug 2015 #87

This should be a good thread LOL...yes babies and toddlers can show shitty behavior snooper2 Aug 2015 #3

Amazing is right. Octafish Aug 2015 #6

Do me a favor, google ( 9 month old hitting ) snooper2 Aug 2015 #12

The moms need to read some actual books, then, and get some basic understanding pnwmom Aug 2015 #23

you are right nt d_r Aug 2015 #64

Nine month olds can be a handful but they are NOT aggressive. They aren't old enough pnwmom Aug 2015 #19

aggression does not require intent. yes, a nine month old can display aggression cali Aug 2015 #26

Roughness doesn't. Aggression does. We're talking about a 9 month old pnwmom Aug 2015 #31

When my boys were small, I found that at early ages, Bettie Aug 2015 #85

Hah! One of my babies bit me. HARD. Before he even left the NICU. Crunchy Frog Aug 2015 #70

Get her into the police academy at once! KamaAina Aug 2015 #4

Or a business school, when she's old enough. hifiguy Aug 2015 #13

The responses at the source seem to be siding with the daycare! REP Aug 2015 #5

The letter isn't fine. It's ignorant and shows the daycare teacher pnwmom Aug 2015 #24

The word used was "aggressively" REP Aug 2015 #41

I don't think the word "aggressively" applies to babies either. It isn't equivalent pnwmom Aug 2015 #43

She'll be in the foreclosure business as soon as she learns to talk jmowreader Aug 2015 #7

My gently-reared daughter left a complete set of tooth-marks on another toddler's arm. At that point Hekate Aug 2015 #30

And my gentle friend's daughter clamped her teeth down on my daughter's arm pnwmom Aug 2015 #82

Call me OT! Solly Mack Aug 2015 #8

The daycare center is undoubtedly hearing from other parents. blue neen Aug 2015 #9

The daycare center is likely *telling* the other parents. winter is coming Aug 2015 #17

Oh yes, they have to document everything... blue neen Aug 2015 #58

It's ridiculous to call a 9 month old aggressive. A baby that age hasn't developed pnwmom Aug 2015 #21

ooh bull. the note was appropriate and polite. it described the child's behavior cali Aug 2015 #27

"Aggressive" isn't an accurate description of a 9 month old. This isn't a toddler; it's a baby. pnwmom Aug 2015 #29

I agree, but the daycare doesn't call her aggressive gollygee Aug 2015 #32

Because of the daycare's use of the word "aggressively" I don't think they do understand pnwmom Aug 2015 #36

I guess I give them the benefit of the doubt here gollygee Aug 2015 #37

Exactly! This is a supervision problem. It's probably going to take months of repetitive teaching pnwmom Aug 2015 #38

I don't think that "aggression" has to mean that there was intent to cause harm. blue neen Aug 2015 #56

I think it does when it's added to the word "roughly." pnwmom Aug 2015 #57

Yeah, I can see that. blue neen Aug 2015 #60

Nonsense it is just their imagination. Rex Aug 2015 #11

I hope that's a Halloween costume! DawgHouse Aug 2015 #14

Me too! Rex Aug 2015 #15

Man, that is just creepy. Almost as creepy as this.... smirkymonkey Aug 2015 #49

Do they mean a stuffed dog? TBF Aug 2015 #16

The ratio was 1:4 when my daughter was that age. Even at that, kids go from winter is coming Aug 2015 #20

Oh I agree with that - TBF Aug 2015 #46

If memory serves, the first time my daughter was bitten, it was by a 9-month-old. winter is coming Aug 2015 #48

It's the choice of language that is problematic. missingthebigdog Aug 2015 #28

Apparently a lot of people don't. There are people in this thread who think the same thing. kcr Aug 2015 #40

Future Republican, maybe? Jamastiene Aug 2015 #33

But you aren't saying that means something is wrong with her vanlassie Aug 2015 #59

I guess that makes my son a future North Korean dictator. Crunchy Frog Aug 2015 #71

"play roughly w/ her friends and her dog" is what I found interesting. Some parents allow their kids Sunlei Aug 2015 #34

Why did she write it in crayon and why is there a dog there? nt Hekate Aug 2015 #35

LOL...it's a baby. Iggo Aug 2015 #39

I know! surprised at the DU response Liberal_in_LA Aug 2015 #44

9 month old babies are learning what is and is not acceptable. DawgHouse Aug 2015 #42

Normally I would think "it's not possible for babies to be aggressive" Marrah_G Aug 2015 #45

Thoughtful response - TBF Aug 2015 #47

Brr. That is just a heartbreaker -- and I don't doubt you for a moment. nt Hekate Aug 2015 #53

What that kid needs is a good, swift beating. smirkymonkey Aug 2015 #50

My daughter was a biter. It was horrible. cyberswede Aug 2015 #51

If a baby is aggressive at 9 mos., I wonder who is being aggressive with that baby to teach mother earth Aug 2015 #52

It's a pretty normal stage of development for a lot of infants. They just need to be stopped... Hekate Aug 2015 #54

Seriously? You think there's something abnormal about a 9 month old vanlassie Aug 2015 #62

The way it's being described, yeah. I have a family, don't ever remember aggressive behavior mother earth Aug 2015 #69

You don't remember that a nine month old grabs vanlassie Aug 2015 #75

That's normal behavior, aggressive behavior is different. The day care person seems to be mother earth Aug 2015 #86

The teacher complaining about about normal behavior is probably the problem, not the baby. pnwmom Aug 2015 #80

Yes, she is describing aggressive behavior which is different than the normal antics of mother earth Aug 2015 #88

Everything a nine month old does is intentional. vanlassie Aug 2015 #89

No one teaches babies this and probably every nursing mother has experienced it, pnwmom Aug 2015 #79

Some kids are just like this laundry_queen Aug 2015 #55

Oh Crap- ruffburr Aug 2015 #61

CALL THE PRESSES, BABIES CRY! Lancero Aug 2015 #63

The parents should take the child to a psychiatrist and have her evaluated. Maybe the stress.. BlueJazz Aug 2015 #67

Or she's teething? Lancero Aug 2015 #73

You're probably right. Rats..I was hoping we might have a young sociopath that we can study. BlueJazz Aug 2015 #74

Or maybe the teacher should take herself to a psychologist pnwmom Aug 2015 #81

I was kidding. I figured that's what some of the populace would try. BlueJazz Aug 2015 #84

There's nothing wrong with the note. Captain Stern Aug 2015 #68

It's the Original Sin in her! Crunchy Frog Aug 2015 #72

Before we all go off the deep end criticizing the daycare worker that wrote this note, PatrickforO Aug 2015 #77