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Syzygy321

(583 posts)

78. Yes - you and I are very much in agreement

Mon Aug 24, 2015, 06:19 PM

Aug 2015

that what matters is choice. Hell, I have no prob with a free woman deciding that what floats her boat is being a homemaker or a nun or her husband's handmaiden or an alpinist or foreign correspondent or politician. Choosing your own path is, to me, the heart of feminism.

In the "traditional" (**sexist**) communities, choice is sacrificed. And it's always the women who do the sacrificing. And that's not just.

I abandoned that cozy stifling world and vaulted myself into a much more cut-off one.

I don't desire a Himself to boss me around - I barely got out with my sanity the first time, and, well, NEVER again. But I miss the warm mutifamily, multigenerational community. I have autonomy, but I don't have a clan anymore.

I am not made for servitude and am glad I escaped. But I still see the other women hanging out in grouos in the store or in the park: maybe three sisters and their kids, or a gang of toddler cousins all chasing each other while the moms watch from benches and chatter and plan ifthar during Ramadan and wave over at me. And I'm like, geez... I don't regret my choice - and i am damn gratedul for American laws that protected my human rights... but I also think I lost something too.

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The upside of strict gender roles. Really. [View all] Syzygy321 Aug 2015 OP

I think it has more to do with our culture's mobility and the size of our families. Brickbat Aug 2015 #1

I don't think a close family is predicated on misogyny LanternWaste Aug 2015 #2

I tend to agree with you. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Aug 2015 #52

I think most of that "love" is a lie. alarimer Aug 2015 #3

+1 - It's like asking a prisoner if they're being treated well Oneironaut Aug 2015 #56

how many women/girls are raped, beaten and murdered in the name of male authority that have no seabeyond Aug 2015 #4

staunch feminist? man or woman? seabeyond Aug 2015 #5

Woman. And survivor of abuse. I am not defending Syzygy321 Aug 2015 #7

"For the other 90 percent of women, it's fulfilling." seriously? you are only suggesting 10% of seabeyond Aug 2015 #10

No - the 10/90 percent split is my guess at Syzygy321 Aug 2015 #14

i do not believe it even a little. stats over decades tell us a different story. also, seabeyond Aug 2015 #17

I am glad for your happiness. Syzygy321 Aug 2015 #23

your post, and how you state it is so repulsive, asked as if you are reasonable, that i have seabeyond Aug 2015 #28

I believe this OP is a sick joke. Let's watch the liberals defend misogyny! bettyellen Aug 2015 #37

yup. nt seabeyond Aug 2015 #38

Yep Aerows Aug 2015 #48

Have to agree ismnotwasm Aug 2015 #83

"... content in that role. Like American women before the 60's." Yeah, right. suffragette Aug 2015 #25

I would say that most women brought up in fundie religions/societies are trapped. Lisa D Aug 2015 #27

You then have absolute knowledge of a collective contentedness? LanternWaste Aug 2015 #46

they would if it went wrong treestar Aug 2015 #75

So you believe 90 percent of women are happy to conform- and not living in fear? bettyellen Aug 2015 #13

Well: think about Ward and June Cleaver. Fiction I know, Syzygy321 Aug 2015 #19

Fear is the reason for conformity. Fear of torture doesn't register with you eh? bettyellen Aug 2015 #39

Muslim women - the ones I know - would be pretty Syzygy321 Aug 2015 #41

We are not taking about Muslim women in the USA- which makes your reply MORE BULLSHIT. bettyellen Aug 2015 #44

+1000 smirkymonkey Aug 2015 #79

Amen to that. n/t Aerows Aug 2015 #81

If I lived in Orange County Aerows Aug 2015 #47

I doubt it is really fulfilling treestar Aug 2015 #73

angstiness? Good word! I like it. Adding it to my vocabulary. Thanks! Hiraeth Aug 2015 #6

If having control over my body and my life means I miss out on some mythical "happiness", ladyVet Aug 2015 #8

Love your post! Love your voice. Syzygy321 Aug 2015 #9

My father didn't raise his girls any differently than he did his boys. seabeyond Aug 2015 #12

So what if women are tortured and raped! Big families are so much fun for women bettyellen Aug 2015 #11

I've never had that security blanket. LWolf Aug 2015 #15

Jury results JustABozoOnThisBus Aug 2015 #16

I agree with Juror # 7. DURHAM D Aug 2015 #21

Alerter's message added to top of post 16. Thanks. nt JustABozoOnThisBus Aug 2015 #29

Thanks. nt DURHAM D Aug 2015 #31

after reading the reply about women on a leash, i agree with the alerter, absolutely. seabeyond Aug 2015 #33

Interesting question Recursion Aug 2015 #18

Yikes. I think that view is a trap for women. DirkGently Aug 2015 #20

Beautiful thought... sounds like the best solution so far. Syzygy321 Aug 2015 #35

Yeah, sort of like how the slaves used to be so happy frazzled Aug 2015 #22

I agree! DawgHouse Aug 2015 #74

Thoughtful post that asks some uncomfortable questions. beerandjesus Aug 2015 #24

This message was self-deleted by its author seabeyond Aug 2015 #26

Funny thing about DU: Syzygy321 Aug 2015 #30

when you start off by arguing that big warm families don't exist outside of oppression geek tragedy Aug 2015 #32

I didn't mean to argue that. I gave a fair Syzygy321 Aug 2015 #36

Baloney- to claim to be a staunch feminist and claim women on leashes are happy bettyellen Aug 2015 #42

It might be easier to give you the benefit of the doubt kcr Aug 2015 #70

in my mind with this discussion, religion nor a particular religion ever took hold. seabeyond Aug 2015 #34

Um. No WestCoastLib Aug 2015 #40

There's nothing warm about families that repress members into rigid gender roles. Gormy Cuss Aug 2015 #43

Yes, you're broad-brushing. I think you have a paternalistic skewed view of the world. PeaceNikki Aug 2015 #45

There isn't mercuryblues Aug 2015 #49

I disagree with you. Skidmore Aug 2015 #50

You should write headlines for the Daily Mail LittleBlue Aug 2015 #51

This bit of advocacy to promote Sharia law as a happy choice ain't going how you'd hope, eh? bettyellen Aug 2015 #53

DDS Aerows Aug 2015 #82

Until they want to have any sort of power or freedom. Oneironaut Aug 2015 #54

Strict gender roles = misogyny? lumberjack_jeff Aug 2015 #55

Obvious strawman and not even related. Oneironaut Aug 2015 #58

I'd say it's closer to disproof of the premise than a strawman. lumberjack_jeff Aug 2015 #59

If you don't want to be drafted Aerows Aug 2015 #60

Even Limbaugh had to register. lumberjack_jeff Aug 2015 #68

The original wording of the OP was correct- she was speaking of women living under Sharia law bettyellen Aug 2015 #66

I guess the takeaway is that "gender roles" aren't one thing. lumberjack_jeff Aug 2015 #67

I think the takeaway is that living a subordinate life because of strongcultural bettyellen Aug 2015 #77

My entire being rejects this. Solly Mack Aug 2015 #57

By that measure, the Duggars must be your ideal. Starry Messenger Aug 2015 #61

Having religiously consevative fuckers raping 10 year olds and executing gay people is your idea of Bluenorthwest Aug 2015 #62

You could wipe out civilization today Puzzledtraveller Aug 2015 #63

except a handful of decades women gaining the freedom and independence has changed the scene, hence seabeyond Aug 2015 #64

the only way people can have big connected families or supportive communities is via repression? Warren DeMontague Aug 2015 #65

in my experience, strict gender roles are neither necessary nor sufficient for warm happy families fishwax Aug 2015 #69

False Choice. Big Warm Family does not equal strict gender roles. yellowcanine Aug 2015 #71

We don't trade off big warm families treestar Aug 2015 #72

From the late 60s on, I found women who were resistant to any of the ideals of feminism. Warpy Aug 2015 #76

Yes - you and I are very much in agreement Syzygy321 Aug 2015 #78

Bravenak - not here Aerows Aug 2015 #80

I'm part of a close-knit group of parents caring for families. yardwork Aug 2015 #84