Amanda Marcotte: No, Porn Addiction Is Not Really A Thing

[Dorian Gray]

120. What I consider 'pretty hard core'

I don't blame you for not trusting the veracity of the claims. It's the internet. People make stuff up all the time. Without too much detail about this individual, I am a female who has known him for over 20 years. (Met in college.) Very good long term friend. Suffers depression. Hasn't dated in a long time. Currently unemployed writer who moved into his family home.

I think his depression probably hurts his dating prospect the most. He's not turning away dates. He's not interested in dating. And he has complained about porn creep. (And fears that he can't live up to guys in porn, which is ridiculous because no woman I know expects a guy to act like someone does in porn.)

This guy has many problems, which is why I stated in another post that porn overuse is usually a symptom of other problems. He suffers chronic depression. He hasn't worked in a couple of years. (I don't think that's related to the porn. It's related to his depression.) I do know he's a daily user of pornography, and his proclivities are for anal sex. (Which to me is hard core because I am a female and not into pornography that depicts anal. I used the "descriptor" "pretty" hard core... as I realized it's probably not all that hard core to many.) I don't know how pricing works on the internet for specific genres, but he's admitted to daily purchases of pay per view on his television. He's not destitute nor homeless. (He lives with his family.) Unemployed brings about a picture of homelessness. That's not his situation.

I will add that it's not just pornography, but the internet that he "abuses." Online for most of the day. At any time that I sign on, I can find him and instant message with him. So, it's a slew of issues.

I also didn't say he was addicted. I said it's a problem that he's admitted to. I think it can be a problem for some people, though I do think it's more a symptom of a larger problem.