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Silent3

(15,909 posts)

30. Reluctance for self-examination could be part of it, but "So what am I supposed to do about it?"...

Fri Sep 11, 2015, 12:03 PM

Sep 2015

...reactions drive many seemingly defensive responses. Or just sheer annoyance that someone seems to be telling others that they should feel bad about their personal preferences.

Is a person supposed to feel bad about themselves for not finding certain groups of people attractive?

Are people morally obligated to ignore their own attractions? Deliberately pursue relationships with people they don't find attractive for the express purpose of seeing if attraction will grow? (As if those times when personality wins out over appearance isn't opportunity enough.)

Do you imagine that self-examination would very often change attractions? That people will look deep into their own souls, discover something they don't like, and by force of will suddenly start finding other people attractive that weren't attractive to them before?

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�No Blacks� Is Not a Sexual Preference. It's Racism. [View all] AngryAmish Sep 2015 OP

It would be interesting to see if those results hold up outside of just gay/bi Australian men arcane1 Sep 2015 #1

I expect they'd show something similar. I read an article recently about online dating apps Marr Sep 2015 #3

'No gays' is not a sexual preference. It's homophobia. Nt. Juicy_Bellows Sep 2015 #2

You know, there really are people out there who believe that. Xithras Sep 2015 #45

I think that point of view is only held by a college roommate. Juicy_Bellows Sep 2015 #46

College students can believe odd things sometimes. Xithras Sep 2015 #47

Yes, sounds like college kids treestar Sep 2015 #67

This is a stupid test XemaSab Sep 2015 #4

Gay racists The2ndWheel Sep 2015 #5

Why is it difficult to think the some gays are racist? They are just like everyone else, they have kelliekat44 Sep 2015 #58

Give me a fucking break. linuxman Sep 2015 #6

I don't think that's what they're saying is the problem PersonNumber503602 Sep 2015 #7

Still doesn't make much sense Major Nikon Sep 2015 #9

Valid points. PersonNumber503602 Sep 2015 #13

Do women owe an explanation as to why they don't want to date this or that guy? The2ndWheel Sep 2015 #14

They don't need an explanation. No one does. PersonNumber503602 Sep 2015 #65

You haven't lived unless you have sampled all the flavors offered Kurska Sep 2015 #8

I'm thinking there's more than 31 Major Nikon Sep 2015 #11

I never got how someone can just write off an entire race. romanic Sep 2015 #10

That happens all the time. I'm only like if you're hot. vaberella Sep 2015 #12

Every decision we make is discriminatory, though. Codeine Sep 2015 #18

I'll take a slightly chunky redhead over a blonde any day snooper2 Sep 2015 #41

Of course it is racism. yardwork Sep 2015 #15

For me, it's no whites. bigwillq Sep 2015 #16

People always read stuff like this and think it's about complaining about individual people gollygee Sep 2015 #17

Individuals make up society The2ndWheel Sep 2015 #19

You're still thinking individually instead of collectively gollygee Sep 2015 #21

I guess my guess would be that so many different people living together is The2ndWheel Sep 2015 #24

This isn't just an either/or preference gollygee Sep 2015 #53

And socialization makes individuals. Act_of_Reparation Sep 2015 #22

Right, and throughout history, gay people weren't thought of very well The2ndWheel Sep 2015 #26

I don't think these groups are that distinct. Act_of_Reparation Sep 2015 #43

So because I don't find large women attractive I'm some how a fat-hater? GOLGO 13 Sep 2015 #20

Makes sense LostOne4Ever Sep 2015 #23

Every time something like this comes up, people will want to defend themselves kcr Sep 2015 #25

Part of it is the mulitple levels involved. jeff47 Sep 2015 #29

I don't think it's easy kcr Sep 2015 #31

Reluctance for self-examination could be part of it, but "So what am I supposed to do about it?"... Silent3 Sep 2015 #30

I don't think the point is to feel bad about yourself. kcr Sep 2015 #32

In the case of physical attraction, what is one supposed to do with that awareness? Silent3 Sep 2015 #34

I don't think you're supposed to find people with green skin attractive kcr Sep 2015 #36

My example was purely hypothetic anyway. Silent3 Sep 2015 #38

It's definitely a problem in the gay male community Prism Sep 2015 #27

I'm not attracted to stupid people dorkzilla Sep 2015 #28

I met mine through an analog newspaper personal ad I ran REP Sep 2015 #35

it's great when things turn out like that! dorkzilla Sep 2015 #37

Congrats! REP Sep 2015 #39

damn i had this whole "Sleepless on Seattle" fantasy dorkzilla Sep 2015 #49

I have a copy of the issue of The Pitchfork it was in ... REP Sep 2015 #51

awwwwww - even better than any film!!! dorkzilla Sep 2015 #63

The heart wants what it wants. I dated every color under the rainbow riderinthestorm Sep 2015 #33

True. romanic Sep 2015 #40

This has been the battle cry of "nice guys" for decades GummyBearz Sep 2015 #52

Many white masters went after their black slaves Bad Thoughts Sep 2015 #42

The word you're looking for is "rape" gollygee Sep 2015 #54

But I'm not trying to disprove racism at all Bad Thoughts Sep 2015 #57

I think they were attracted because they dominated them gollygee Sep 2015 #59

First, the phenomenon is not limited to rape Bad Thoughts Sep 2015 #64

I'm not attracted to blondes. Preference is not bigotry. Xithras Sep 2015 #44

+100 for using the word 'boffing'! Nt. Juicy_Bellows Sep 2015 #48

I wondered how this article would be recieved here MosheFeingold Sep 2015 #50

You have a grown child who has been married 50 years? gollygee Sep 2015 #56

I will be 91 Monday. MosheFeingold Sep 2015 #60

Wow :) gollygee Sep 2015 #61

Thank you! MosheFeingold Sep 2015 #62

WOW! Marrah_G Sep 2015 #66

It's a funny thing about attraction. I am Italo-Anglo-Dutch. For some reason I have always smirkymonkey Sep 2015 #69

So Now We're Telling People Who They are Supposed to be Sexually Attracted To? On the Road Sep 2015 #55

No we're telling people they need to lie about who they are attracted to. Quantess Sep 2015 #68