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H2O Man

(73,558 posts)
Thu Sep 17, 2015, 09:24 AM Sep 2015

The Republican Debate [View all]

(A) Junior Varsity

Rick Sanitarium
Opie Taylor’s cousin
Christian zealot
Rejected by his community

Bobby Jindel
Scarecrow puppet
Of Barney Fife
Self-loathing

George Pataki
Greased rubber face
Utter contempt for
Little Ricky

Lindsey Graham
Scowling lollipop
National insecurity expert
Licking Nixon’s liver


(AA) Varsity

Jeb Bush
Maytag head
Dispensing plastic lies
The lonely repairman
Of the broken party

Chris Christie
Sopranos wanna-be
Flower of the toxic gutter
Tony Galento reincarnate
Hoping to deck the champ

Carly Fiorina
Eating toe dough bread
Her own enemies list
Dripping from her lips

John Kasich
Attempting to separate
From the pack
By sounding rational

Ben Carson
Trying to join the pack
Failing
Way out of place

Ted Cruz
Illegitimate spawn of
Senator Joseph McCarthy
Wrenched neck from
Licking Trump’s behind

Rand Paul
Steel wool poodle
muted on the sideline
Barking at shadows

Mike Huckabee
Anti-Christ
In Santa suit
Self-righteous sun head room

Scott Walker
Empty suit
Empty mind
Empty campaign

Marco Rubio
Pre-fight jitters
Sweat rag forehead
Water gulping guppy

Donald Trump
Scrawny tawny lion
Playing with the cubs
For the circus

Rick Perry
His best performance to date

60 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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The Republican Debate [View all] H2O Man Sep 2015 OP
my favorite: a kennedy Sep 2015 #1
He reminded me H2O Man Sep 2015 #13
He's so lackluster and dull Greybnk48 Sep 2015 #39
You forgot to grade CNN. Mass Sep 2015 #2
Watching CNN you could have watched it with yuiyoshida Sep 2015 #5
How so? H2O Man Sep 2015 #15
Absolutely nothing they said was challenged. Greybnk48 Sep 2015 #40
Good points. H2O Man Sep 2015 #42
ha ha marions ghost Sep 2015 #3
Thank you. H2O Man Sep 2015 #17
Brilliant malaise Sep 2015 #4
Thank you! H2O Man Sep 2015 #18
you really, REALLY, should not post this stuff during morning coffee hour. Some of the KingCharlemagne Sep 2015 #6
I apologize. H2O Man Sep 2015 #20
--! marions ghost Sep 2015 #22
Many years ago, H2O Man Sep 2015 #50
LOL, good point on Perry. He really stood out last night. FSogol Sep 2015 #7
I suspect that the H2O Man Sep 2015 #21
He tried glasses, maybe he should take up carrying around philosphy and chemistry textbooks. FSogol Sep 2015 #23
Ha! H2O Man Sep 2015 #49
Hilarious panader0 Sep 2015 #8
Thanks! H2O Man Sep 2015 #24
For those (like me) who didn't watch it - this is the perfect summary. Thanks! NRaleighLiberal Sep 2015 #9
I watched CNN H2O Man Sep 2015 #26
Right on! nt cyberswede Sep 2015 #10
Thank you. H2O Man Sep 2015 #27
Never seen them, never heard them speak, but at least now I get Zorra Sep 2015 #11
You have now officially H2O Man Sep 2015 #28
Scrawny Tawny Lion ha! Octafish Sep 2015 #12
There you go! H2O Man Sep 2015 #29
bwahahahahaaaa K&R.... spanone Sep 2015 #14
Thanks! H2O Man Sep 2015 #30
insightful post!!! spanone Sep 2015 #32
I wrote the H2O Man Sep 2015 #51
Ted Cruz is just painful (and I do mean PAINFUL!) to listen to. hamsterjill Sep 2015 #16
In my opinion, H2O Man Sep 2015 #31
I agree. malthaussen Sep 2015 #36
Quick Sex Ed Lesson For Tonight's GOP Debate Candidates - See more at: https://www.plannedparenthood L. Coyote Sep 2015 #19
Thank you. H2O Man Sep 2015 #33
what the heck is "toe dough bread" ?? And what about Jeb's Laura PourMeADrink Sep 2015 #25
Good questions. H2O Man Sep 2015 #34
They prefer it dipped in the yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye, AlbertCat Sep 2015 #37
Semolina pilchard climbing H2O Man Sep 2015 #52
Don't forget about "toe jam football" malthaussen Sep 2015 #60
Now do it in haiku. malthaussen Sep 2015 #35
GREAT summary, my dear malthaussen! CaliforniaPeggy Sep 2015 #43
Well done! H2O Man Sep 2015 #45
Well done! Moral Compass Sep 2015 #38
Thank you! H2O Man Sep 2015 #46
I really thought that Donald Trump was going to say something Filibuster Harry Sep 2015 #41
That would have H2O Man Sep 2015 #47
My dear H20 Man! CaliforniaPeggy Sep 2015 #44
Thank you, my Friend! H2O Man Sep 2015 #48
Thanks for the laugh H2O Man. I am visualizing you performing livetohike Sep 2015 #53
Thank you. H2O Man Sep 2015 #54
Great addition. Maybe a black light with posters for all the candidates. livetohike Sep 2015 #55
And a cloud of secondary smoke... malthaussen Sep 2015 #56
Through the fog H2O Man Sep 2015 #57
I wrote a terrible poem about it: malthaussen Sep 2015 #58
Very good! H2O Man Sep 2015 #59
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