Charges filed against woman who shot at fleeing shoplifters in Home Depot parking lot

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13. THIS IS IT!

Patriots, to the barricades! Yes, the NRA has been warning you for years that Obummer is going to grab your guns, and it hasn't even remotely happened. Some of you have been getting discouraged, thinking your chance to throw down against the powers that be was never going to come. Some of you may have even allowed yourselves to doubt the never-ending cries of wolf from the NRA, but now you see that all your vigilance has been vindicated!

Go now! Grab all your bestest guns and deadliest ammo. Ride to the sound of guns! Don't wait for further instructions from headquarters. The time is now for all freedom loving good guys (and gals) with guns to blast away at your fellow citizens, law enforcement personnel and anyone else who looks like they might be up to no good.

Please note: This message is intended only for responsible gun owners and other good guys with guns. Terrorists, military, and jack-booted government thugs, please disregard this message. Thank you.

In case it's needed: Sarcasm off.