On this day in Germany, 1946 (Hitler, the SPD and the German Democrats)

[sahel]

12. That reminds me of the birthday party I held for my pet goldfish

Her name was Muriel. As befits such a major life event all our friends and family were there to celebrate.

My father in law had bought Muriel a pair of tap shoes for her present. I said you damn fool, she hasn't got any feet. He then smiled with a glint in his eye and told me that he and Muriel had been secretly seeing each other ever since I was a boy.

I was so enraged that I eviscerated him with the rusty tire iron that I had used to cut Muriel's cake. Then I ran up and down the street festooned with his bloody entrails.

Muriel died not long afterwards. The death certificate said Spanish influenza, but honestly I think she was just overcome by the unbearable sadness of it all.