Because they don't want the responsibility, or they think it will mess up their carefree lives, or because babies and children cost money. I remember reading about Ava Gardner saying that when she was married to Frank Sinatra she had a couple of abortions that were not her idea. Now if I had a husband who forced me to abort a wanted child, I would go completely crazy.
TRUE STORY: I told my ex-husband I was pregnant. We had been married for several months. He IMMEDIATELY told me to get an abortion. And I said no. And then I sat there and cried for two hours because of his response. It was accidental. He was angry at me ever after, and stopped having sex with me, and we separated and got a divorce, a while after the baby was born. He told people that I "tricked" him into being a father. Like hell I did.
Having a healthy, happy baby was a bad thing to him. He's very negative. He had a good income and good insurance and it's not like we couldn't afford it. He was just being selfish. Then he gaslighted me by saying "We discussed this before we married, we agreed we weren't going to have any kids." That was not true. We just didn't discuss it and left all the birth control responsibility to me.
If I had known he didn't want kids when we married, I never would have married him. We didn't have those discussions because I was stupid and didn't know that I needed to have them. He just wanted a sugar momma.
Having a baby was a wonderful thing to me, and I loved being a mother, but he decided to make my life a living hell because I had a baby and he didn't want one. Control freak.
Went through a divorce from hell. He decided to sue my parents and attempt to get my father's professional license revoked, just for the hell of it. My parents were in their 70s at the time. My parents countersued him for fraud, constructive fraud and breach of fiduciary duty. I had to pay him child support for quite a few years, until the kid graduated from high school at 18. I live in a community property state where women are equal, and that includes paying child support.
Needless to say, he was emotionally abusive to me all the time. Which led to a serious health crisis that lasted many years. I eventually got my health back after countless hospital and ER visits. He said I was faking it all just to get attention. Yeah, like sitting in a hospital bed wondering if you're going to die or not, because your immune system has gone to hell, is just lots of fun.
Narcissists live in their own world.
The child is now fully grown and does not speak to me any more because I am apparently a horrible, terrible, abusive person.
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