People do not choose to get ill, loose a loved one... You can choose your profession.
I see your point,I took it to be about individual participation, which is extremely low.
The cost is due to the methods we use to fight. I will leave aside for the moment the question of should we fight.
We value life over materials, hence we use hi-tech weapons over human wave attacks. That means we spend $$$ instead of blood. Without our 'toys' we would have many more flag covered boxes coming home. Look at past wars where we would loose more than the total killed in Iraq in one day. Could you imagine what this country would do if there was a large battle in Afghanistan and we had 800 KIA and likely 2000+ wounded?
The down side is where there is $$$ or even $ there will be some piece of slime looking to get a portion, even if the cost in another flag or two.
As for constant conflicts it is sad but true back to 1776. I once heard that the US has never gone ten years without being in one conflict or another. From my research it is hard to find any five year span of peace in over 235 years. Business as usual 
IMO much of the lionizing of today's military is akin to a group penance for the guilt felt over the poor treatment of Viet Nam vets. The troops were unjustly blamed at an individual level for poor government decisions and policies. Now almost everyone goes out of their way 'to support the troops' even while criticizing the conflict. There are many on the right who will take advantage of this for political gain, warping support and patriotism to their goals.
We are allowed to question 'why' to any conflict. (Politicians should do so more often... maybe instead of embedded reporters we should embed members of Congress so they can bring back first hand reports 
) we also may point out and hold accountable our members of the military whose actions exceed the bounds of law or morality. To do so is actually more patriotic than blind faith.
Again, IMHO.
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