General Discussion

Scuba

(53,475 posts)

16. We had a beautiful service for Tyler, who took his own life in October ...

Mon Dec 28, 2015, 08:49 AM

Dec 2015

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018805000

Hundreds of people attended and several spoke about mental illness and suicide.

His father did something that moved me to tears. He brought a bag of pebbles that he and Tyler had collected from a lakeshore and asked attendees to take a pebble and hold it in their hand during a short walk that was part of the service. At the end of the walk they were to give the pebble back along with any guilt they were bearing over Tyler's death.

Later he placed the pebbles - along with the guilt - back in the lake.

Your advice that your friend do only what she needs to do is good, but there should be no shame for mental illness, no shame for suicide.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

43 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

a friend of mine had a terrible tragedy happen Christmas day. Her son killed himself [View all] demtenjeep Dec 2015 OP

My s/o's cousin recently killed himself. beam me up scottie Dec 2015 #1

can I share that with her? demtenjeep Dec 2015 #2

Of course, that's why I shared. beam me up scottie Dec 2015 #3

For young people the service is both a closing and a way of jwirr Dec 2015 #27

It was very hard on everyone, his girlfriend was the one who found him. beam me up scottie Dec 2015 #29

A service would be fine, but it's her decision pinboy3niner Dec 2015 #4

I am very sorry for your loss - nt KingCharlemagne Dec 2015 #41

A friend killed himself in high school. What we, his friends, thought was sadness and built that we uppityperson Dec 2015 #5

A service is generally for the survivors BlueMTexpat Dec 2015 #6

She can have a service. leftyladyfrommo Dec 2015 #7

She needs a memorial service, or, funeral OldRedneck Dec 2015 #8

I hope she's able to have a service if she wants one. LuvNewcastle Dec 2015 #9

she should have the service she wants and needs Skittles Dec 2015 #10

"people" will think this was a terrible tragedy etherealtruth Dec 2015 #11

IMO she should have a service that she feels most comfortable with BainsBane Dec 2015 #12

My oldest son was a senior in high school when a friend of his committed suicide mnhtnbb Dec 2015 #13

OF COURSE she can have a service for her son if she wants! One of my niece's friends pnwmom Dec 2015 #14

When I was a senior in college Snobblevitch Dec 2015 #15

No not always temporary rjsquirrel Dec 2015 #18

We had a beautiful service for Tyler, who took his own life in October ... Scuba Dec 2015 #16

Suicide is not always caused by rjsquirrel Dec 2015 #19

I did not mean to suggest that it was. In fact, my opinion is that it's a human right ... Scuba Dec 2015 #20

We agree about that rjsquirrel Dec 2015 #25

I'm with you, Scuba. I decided a long time ago I would not linger for years. ladyVet Dec 2015 #38

Missed that thread, sorry to hear about that. joshcryer Dec 2015 #21

How sad. You gave her good advice. Vinca Dec 2015 #17

Very sad, I agre, your advice was exceptional. Stuart G Dec 2015 #22

The first funeral I remember was my paternal grandfather's. Blus4u Dec 2015 #23

the service is really for the survivors, so she should karynnj Dec 2015 #24

My sister committed suicide this year 2naSalit Dec 2015 #26

so sorry annabanana Dec 2015 #35

Thanks... 2naSalit Dec 2015 #43

My condolensces to your friend nadinbrzezinski Dec 2015 #28

I don't think any church itcfish Dec 2015 #30

I've been struggling to come up with an appropriate response to this thread all day Victor_c3 Dec 2015 #31

Hoping for peace for you. PassingFair Dec 2015 #33

I don't know what to say to you! itcfish Dec 2015 #34

Hey, if u ever want someone to talk to, PM me for KingCharlemagne Dec 2015 #42

One thing to keep in mind about funerals/memorial services -- for ANYBODY... markpkessinger Dec 2015 #32

So sorry to hear this. But she is not alone. ucrdem Dec 2015 #36

thank you all demtenjeep Dec 2015 #37

This message was self-deleted by its author polly7 Dec 2015 #39

holding your friend in thought and prayers. having lost several friends to suicide myself, niyad Dec 2015 #40