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In reply to the discussion: Daughter discovers her fiance is conservative [View all]karynnj
(59,503 posts)Obviously, they came of age in a far less popularized time, when Republicans and Democrats could share more values than they tend to do now. Not to mention, especially in some states, there were Republican liberals or moderates. ( Think Jacob Javitz, John Heinz, or Senator Case)
Here, it may be that his family was Republican, the people in his "communities of interest" were Republican and he has not really questioned how the values of the various Republicans matched up with his personal values. You say that he has lots of admirable qualities and your daughter loves him enough to have become engaged. This suggests that THEIR personal values are likely far closer to each others .. and likely yours ... than the current Republicans.
It may be that he has never known anyone who fell on bad times after losing a job .. or never getting a good enough one and has blindly absorbed the view of others that people who need welfare need it because they are lazy and don't work hard enough to get a reasonable job. In general, US communities defined by the people you actually interact with are mostly pretty homogeneous. If his family was comfortably middle class or better, he might never have had a friend or relative who is on welfare. For people of his age, those he knows may still be subsidized by parents, especially if they are struggling with either not getting a good enough job or other issues. What you are concerned (understandably) is callousness towards the poor might simply be lack of understanding of what they face.
When I read your post, I immediately thought of two twentysomes who lived across the street from me in NJ where we lived for about 25 years seeing them grow up as two of the nicest people you ever could meet. They were both talented, bright, articulate, and very very helpful to anyone in the neighborhood. (Including clearing a steep driveway of snow when they knew we were due to return and there was about 2 ft of snow!) Yet, the parents, great neighbors who we agreed with on many things unrelated to politics, were Republican -- as were these boys at least 3 years ago when we moved to NJ. Yet, I think ANY girls who win the love of either of those boys are lucky ... and maybe... if the Republicans continue on their path ... they will become Democrats. Even if they don't, I am certain that they will love and respect the ones they choose.