General Discussion

hfojvt

(37,573 posts)

8. but what is "abusive"?

Mon Feb 8, 2016, 02:34 PM

Feb 2016

"unsolicited" seems like a strange thing to say. Does one then need an invitation to send a PM to somebody? I do not send a lot of them, but some of them have been unsolicited. And if one is suspended it is one way they can reply to a post and get a reply (PM) back.

"insinuating" seems like a judgement call to me. Communication is tough. Is it fair to read between the lines? On the other hand some people are good at being subtle about what they want to say. They can twist the knife and then play innocent.

Probably when you have multiple suspensions you do not get the benefit of the doubt.

I guess too when one is PMing they should take special care to try to make their message a nice one, at least if they are the one initiating the exchange.

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Moral: don't send abusive PMs [View all] cyberswede Feb 2016 OP

Color me shocked.. Texasgal Feb 2016 #1

I'm shocked, shocked... msanthrope Feb 2016 #55

hey YOU! Texasgal Feb 2016 #96

Well, at least it's a nice shade of pink. Glassunion Feb 2016 #144

I some from a Vanilla person. artislife Feb 2016 #200

That one did not play well with others alcibiades_mystery Feb 2016 #2

Leaning how to play nice is part of becoming an adult. In_The_Wind Feb 2016 #3

Yep, I hope it's the first of many. beam me up scottie Feb 2016 #4

Yeah, I wish those on time outs would lose pm privileges. I don't want to hear it! cui bono Feb 2016 #9

I agree. It's the only time I ever get abusive PM's passiveporcupine Feb 2016 #49

I've been here for 14 years and have NEVER received an abusive PM. 11 Bravo Feb 2016 #68

You're doing good. passiveporcupine Feb 2016 #69

Me to. Boudica the Lyoness Feb 2016 #99

try messing with a KT2000 Feb 2016 #135

I've gotten one, Blue_In_AK Feb 2016 #187

Let me guess... death threat guy? n/t demmiblue Feb 2016 #198

Muslim-hater guy. Blue_In_AK Feb 2016 #199

Nor have I - occasional disagreement but always civilized LeftishBrit Feb 2016 #196

This message was self-deleted by its author AtomicKitten Feb 2016 #52

I understood your position, but I for one find the PMs amusing. Jim Lane Feb 2016 #64

same here... unapatriciated Feb 2016 #149

And post it publicly awoke_in_2003 Feb 2016 #122

That is what Skinner posted in response Duckhunter935 Feb 2016 #130

just a matter of time... Blue_Tires Feb 2016 #5

Gee, I would have thought the Reagan worship should have been enough of a reason. LiberalAndProud Feb 2016 #6

There's at least one more doing the same thing. hobbit709 Feb 2016 #7

+1 beam me up scottie Feb 2016 #12

Alert on the PMs cyberswede Feb 2016 #13

repeated "Under Review" while on time out and so far been coming back until now. hobbit709 Feb 2016 #15

tried but was unable to unapatriciated Feb 2016 #152

That was my same thought yuiyoshida Feb 2016 #184

Oh there are a few also doing it off site nadinbrzezinski Feb 2016 #113

Off site is a different problem. hobbit709 Feb 2016 #115

It is still a problem nadinbrzezinski Feb 2016 #116

but what is "abusive"? hfojvt Feb 2016 #8

It's simple - don't carry public arguments over into private messages hack89 Feb 2016 #16

Like that time Dr Strange sent me nude photos of 19th century presidents Orrex Feb 2016 #19

aha hfojvt Feb 2016 #21

Lots of strangeness to go around, but this is a different Dr Strange Orrex Feb 2016 #27

I congratulate a post, ask about a name and how they got it because some are so roguevalley Feb 2016 #62

How would one go about subscribing to such a list? bluedigger Feb 2016 #41

You have to be invited. It's a very exclusive club. Orrex Feb 2016 #45

They wouldn't want me then. bluedigger Feb 2016 #48

Locking. Dr. Strange Feb 2016 #56

Hey! He sent me naked pictures of the members of the Canadian Band Rush. madinmaryland Feb 2016 #73

I only did that... Dr. Strange Feb 2016 #88

He's Geddy with excitement. Orrex Feb 2016 #138

I tell you what, they didn't call him James K. Polk for nothing. Warren DeMontague Feb 2016 #75

Franklin Pierce was a scalawg. rug Feb 2016 #86

Franklin Pierce's great-great-great-etc grandson Cal Carpenter Feb 2016 #192

That's a fascinating tidbit. rug Feb 2016 #194

Yes indeed! Cal Carpenter Feb 2016 #195

Unsolicited is one thing tammywammy Feb 2016 #23

that's pretty clearly abuse hfojvt Feb 2016 #37

Based on her public posting tammywammy Feb 2016 #40

Well maybe you should request reinstatement for her. Kingofalldems Feb 2016 #43

You make a rather creative rationalization. LanternWaste Feb 2016 #44

I think that was just the last straw. pintobean Feb 2016 #46

I kinda said the same hfojvt Feb 2016 #50

I never expect anyone to believe I am who I say I am nor do I believe anyone on the internet A Simple Game Feb 2016 #57

on some things like fanfiction lists for shows like the HBO series Oz I post with a roguevalley Feb 2016 #63

that's kinda my point hfojvt Feb 2016 #65

They harass DUers like Nadinbrezinski with the identity thing Arazi Feb 2016 #72

On the internet, no one knows: tblue37 Feb 2016 #103

Questioning someones background Lazy Daisy Feb 2016 #66

It was a nasty pm yuiyoshida Feb 2016 #185

Nice devils advocate, but that poster also questioned the race of another well know DUer. Rex Feb 2016 #176

Yes, finally another troll bites the dust. And your point is well taken cyberswede, abusive seaglass Feb 2016 #10

bout' time, but she is a "mystic" so I'm sure she will "mysteriously" be back LOL snooper2 Feb 2016 #11

I'm not surprised, though I have seen more people comment on another DU mail harrasser. demmiblue Feb 2016 #14

Come to think of it, I did have one from her: "Whatever. She wik" (yes, that is all). demmiblue Feb 2016 #33

I got one but it was not abusive... Phentex Feb 2016 #142

DUers who disrupt need to go buh-bye. longship Feb 2016 #17

I thought they were PPR'ed a long time ago. Orrex Feb 2016 #18

No, just multiple time-outs. Many of us have waited a long time for the other shoe to drop. nt pinboy3niner Feb 2016 #20

There are a few here with never-ending time-outs. cwydro Feb 2016 #100

I'm sure their previous account was CreekDog Feb 2016 #77

Indeed, I was surprised that the poster was here only 3 + years salin Feb 2016 #127

A while back, someone suggested that darkangel was Skippy's caricatured sock CreekDog Feb 2016 #134

I thought it might be backwoodsbob... Phentex Feb 2016 #141

Well that sounds like a nice person. senz Feb 2016 #150

This message was self-deleted by its author 1000words Feb 2016 #22

Yes. This. Boot them out of here. kath Feb 2016 #87

Not automatically, because a few really *are* alert stalked. I have seen it while tblue37 Feb 2016 #105

This message was self-deleted by its author 1000words Feb 2016 #106

Alerts don't mean shit pintobean Feb 2016 #108

And juries can be biased. I have seen jury comments that indicate the juror tblue37 Feb 2016 #109

So? Some people poison their own jury pool pintobean Feb 2016 #118

agree and if they think this place is so horrible, then they should find a new place to play demtenjeep Feb 2016 #166

Lol. I think she was PmWI last night. pintobean Feb 2016 #24

Hmmmm Renew Deal Feb 2016 #25

It Doesn't Surprise Me One Bit Leith Feb 2016 #26

I had one of those Duckhunter935 Feb 2016 #28

I have a few blocked myself for unwanted PMs. Cleita Feb 2016 #29

I was Juror #4 GoneOffShore Feb 2016 #79

I was a no comment. nt kjones Feb 2016 #80

thanks Duckhunter935 Feb 2016 #90

I was juror #3 jberryhill Feb 2016 #84

thanks Duckhunter935 Feb 2016 #91

thank you Duckhunter935 Feb 2016 #89

Stupid alert. nt awoke_in_2003 Feb 2016 #124

Yep, I agree Duckhunter935 Feb 2016 #132

Interesting choice of words Duckhunter935 Feb 2016 #131

Another moral: multiple timeouts are ineffective Gormy Cuss Feb 2016 #30

I Think it would be great if multiple timeouts resulted in a ban Warren DeMontague Feb 2016 #76

Yep, automatic. Gormy Cuss Feb 2016 #92

Indeed. Warren DeMontague Feb 2016 #93

Perhaps offenses should have a "half-life" .... eppur_se_muova Feb 2016 #191

In my defense. I was pretty wasted when I PM'd you the Ted Cruz Patriotic Speedo Calendar. nt Guy Whitey Corngood Feb 2016 #31

LOL cyberswede Feb 2016 #32

Correction Guy Whitey Corngood Feb 2016 #35

Picky, picky, picky pinboy3niner Feb 2016 #38

N'HA!! (Tweety Matthews laugh). nt Guy Whitey Corngood Feb 2016 #81

*snort* pinboy3niner Feb 2016 #34

That should qualify for an automatic PPR tammywammy Feb 2016 #39

Puke Puke Regurgitate? pinboy3niner Feb 2016 #47

DWP - it's real Paulie Feb 2016 #36

Well only on the few days she can managed to go between timeouts. n/t tammywammy Feb 2016 #42

If they don't learn... SoapBox Feb 2016 #51

Frequent time-outs should warrant permanent suspension. SecularMotion Feb 2016 #53

Oh well....nt msanthrope Feb 2016 #54

Anyone who praises Reagan here should be banned automatically. nt Zorra Feb 2016 #58

I tend to agree - or Thatcher! - but I wouldn't have thought any regular DU-er would... LeftishBrit Feb 2016 #197

In all my years here I've only once, and that quite recently, SheilaT Feb 2016 #59

Always report abusive PMs. tammywammy Feb 2016 #61

Moral, if you're not adult enough to roll your eyes and hit "full ignore," Warpy Feb 2016 #60

excellent point! nt steve2470 Feb 2016 #67

Didn't know when to back off. lpbk2713 Feb 2016 #70

No one sends me abusive messages AngryAmish Feb 2016 #71

Me either. lumberjack_jeff Feb 2016 #74

Check your Inbox. ( n/t ) Make7 Feb 2016 #136

..... tammywammy Feb 2016 #143

Huh... MrWendel Feb 2016 #78

And what about VR? Flying Squirrel Feb 2016 #82

Flagged for review neverforget Feb 2016 #111

For quite some time pintobean Feb 2016 #120

Fascinating. Who else? Nt stevenleser Feb 2016 #125

That I know of pintobean Feb 2016 #128

At least three of the four deserve it. I don't know seveneyes. stevenleser Feb 2016 #129

Upon further review, I think this is admins preventing them from getting stevenleser Feb 2016 #188

Ha, that is my question in ATA, might as well delete it then. There is one poster who has been seaglass Feb 2016 #139

See if they answer it. pintobean Feb 2016 #140

I was once flagged for a week ProudToBeBlueInRhody Feb 2016 #157

Ah. I've had that one and the subject of the OP on ignore for a long time. ladyVet Feb 2016 #137

VR? salin Feb 2016 #159

Good riddance ProudToBeBlueInRhody Feb 2016 #83

What a dick. Odin2005 Feb 2016 #85

DU rec...nt SidDithers Feb 2016 #94

Members who send repeated abusive PMs should receive an automatic ban. MerryBlooms Feb 2016 #95

I received some very abusive PMs two or three years ago. hifiguy Feb 2016 #97

Me too nadinbrzezinski Feb 2016 #117

oh I've had that troll on Ignore for a LONG time Skittles Feb 2016 #98

Funny. I've gotten just a few PMs - I don't usually answer them. PatrickforO Feb 2016 #101

Message hidden by jury decision Ptah Feb 2016 #102

And, she was holding back pintobean Feb 2016 #178

OMG! THANK YOU, EarlG!!! Kali Feb 2016 #104

But now who's gonna call us Kali Lovers? Phentex Feb 2016 #112

When she gets off the latest time-out over at DI: Kali Feb 2016 #114

Lol... I think she is already back. n/t demmiblue Feb 2016 #174

I guess I am not special enough Jenny_92808 Feb 2016 #107

I know of one DUer who sent abusive PMs to me and I believe SID and a few other stevenleser Feb 2016 #110

Agree, I don't see the worry in someone getting to post here that has been in time out 3 or more Rex Feb 2016 #179

If abusive PMs was all it took to get bounced, quite a few DUers would have been gone long ago Major Nikon Feb 2016 #119

Not sure why that one lasted as long as she did. Codeine Feb 2016 #121

There are several who get repeat timeouts over and over again... NaturalHigh Feb 2016 #148

Agree with you 100% on that. Time outs do no good. They come back and it's the same thing over Autumn Feb 2016 #153

I can think of two that just came back last week. NaturalHigh Feb 2016 #172

long thread no bugs snooper2 Feb 2016 #123

Bye, Felicia. PeaceNikki Feb 2016 #126

LOL! Best post on this thread. nt UtahLib Feb 2016 #133

I've only got one DU mail complaining about something I posted. NaturalHigh Feb 2016 #145

... pinboy3niner Feb 2016 #146

One of my favorite scenes. NaturalHigh Feb 2016 #147

That person was always nice to me. Quantess Feb 2016 #151

On a few occasions I received a rhapsody of abusive pm's Capt. Obvious Feb 2016 #154

She was brought up in a russian / east european family, IIRC Quantess Feb 2016 #155

On DI, she said she was Bosnian pintobean Feb 2016 #156

"Harsh" and "unhinged" are entirely different things REP Feb 2016 #168

exactly! Kali Feb 2016 #169

I think this is the Poster that probably sent Bravenak the Letters JI7 Feb 2016 #158

What makes you think that? pintobean Feb 2016 #160

from the same area it was sent, the way the letter was written JI7 Feb 2016 #161

I don't think she has that in her. pintobean Feb 2016 #163

mean and stupid is enough to do that JI7 Feb 2016 #164

I disagree. And, it's still a cheap shot. pintobean Feb 2016 #165

that's why i said i think JI7 Feb 2016 #167

I don't think anyone sent bravenak any letters. eom NaturalHigh Feb 2016 #173

Grave dancing. MineralMan Feb 2016 #162

meh Kali Feb 2016 #170

Questioning another well known DUers race did it for me. Rex Feb 2016 #177

She praised you, though pintobean Feb 2016 #180

I liked her until I saw her question anothers race. Rex Feb 2016 #181

She's been doing that for quite some time. pintobean Feb 2016 #183

I know people do alert stalk, it is just surprising to find out who it is at times. Rex Feb 2016 #186

IMHO Posters on timeout should also be on time out from PM priviledges. nt PufPuf23 Feb 2016 #171

I remember that certain event. Rex Feb 2016 #175

I wondered if anyone had seen my alert message... yuiyoshida Feb 2016 #182

That is so screwed up. Sorry you experienced that. You reminded me I wanted stevenleser Feb 2016 #189

That maybe difficult to do yuiyoshida Feb 2016 #190

That explains a lot... brooklynite Feb 2016 #193

Grave dancing thread. nt merrily Feb 2016 #201