my teaparty sister threatened me last week

[KurtNYC]

37. I'm not so sure this was about the Tea party, seems more like a relationship dynamic

that she was asserting.

First off, good for you that you understand this as abuse and you set limits. I'm going to speculate that she is older than you and probably a first born. First borns tend to be less flexible in their approach to the world and they are more comfortable in the role of leader than the role of team member. But this seems to go way beyond that.

Talking politics is not intimacy; it may avoid talking about things that are underneath this abusive relationship while adopting the tone and dynamic of the prior abuse. Some people who rant on the phone about 3rd party issues will sort of break out of that after 5 minutes, or more and suddenly say what is really disturbing them personally. I like that you tried to have a meaningful conversation with her and you have the patience of a saint apparently but maybe she is a rage-aholic. Some people get addicted to anger and the adrenaline and intensity that comes with it. In my experience the best partner for a rage-aholic is another rage-aholic.

My heart goes out to you. Stay strong. Know your limits and don't go 2 hours again if the conversation really isn't going to go someplace more satisfying for YOU.