my teaparty sister threatened me last week

[magical thyme]

40. wow. good speculation and right on all points, but one...

Once she's on a rampage, she never seems to break out of the 3rd party issues. The tea party gives her a focus for her rage.

I don't know if her husband is a rage-aholic. The two times I've been in their home (the last time was about 30 years ago) he mostly seemed hang-dog and following her around trying to calm her down. Sadly like I still occasionally fall into when somebody I'm close too loses it, although now I have mostly given up my former role as peacemaker and simply prefer to disappear to a quieter place and let them rage on their own.

I expect they are following our parents dynamic, with my mother being the rage-aholic and my workaholic father either trying to reason with her or tuning her out.

There won't be any 2 hour runs any more. Relationships are like bank accounts. I quietly closed her account 30 years ago because her withdrawals vastly exceed her deposits. I only re-opened the account because she had recurrent cancer and didn't expect it to go into remission and to see if she'd grown up at all. So this was a trial period, she again is short on deposits and long on withdrawals, and her cancer is in remission.

She has nothing to offer me on any terms, not companionship, conversation, or ideas, and I will not be her whipping boy.