Do most US citizens really want what's best for others? [View all]

[OneGrassRoot]

Or is the selfishness we tend to label conservatives with a more prevalent human trait than we realize?

Two things prompted this:

Several 30-something white Democrats I know said they may not vote because they don't like the whole "free college" thing Democrats are advocating. "If I had to pay and have loans, everyone else should, too!!!" (These were males, btw; I don't know if that matters but demographics are important when evaluating behavior patterns, imho.)

Which made me think about the many "get off my lawn!!!" older people (often parents and grandparents), whining about how selfish and spoiled Millennials are and how easy they have it. (This does tend to be men more than women, but I definitely see women doing it, too.)

While I dispute the fact that Millennials have it easy and that they're apathetic and spoiled and selfish as a whole, the belittling by the older generation of the younger generation is not new. Older people have always complained about the younger generation having it much easier than they had.


That made me wonder if the people who fit the description above truly want their kids and grandkids to have it easier, let alone complete strangers? They say they want their kids to have it better than they had it, but do they really?

On the other hand, perhaps the anger we see erupting in various groups of white people now has another element rarely discussed. Maybe they're not only afraid of the changing world, but maybe they're just pissed that they feel they receive zero acknowledgment for their struggles.

Feeling that no one is acknowledging what they've gone through (or are going through) -- even though they may act with false bravado and say things like "No one said life is fair, get over yourself" -- may be why they seem to not want anyone else to have an easier go of life than they have had.

I know, I know, some are thinking (as I certainly have many times), "Oh poor them. Boofuckinhoo."



But here's the thing, when pain and suffering and struggle becomes a competition, it gets extra ugly. Of course there is no comparison to the suffering of middle-aged white men compared to all people of color, for example. When you put the general experiences and daily stress side by side, no rational person could deny that truth.

However, angry, fearful people aren't rational.

We white people in many ways live in a bubble and always have. Our images and experiences are the default against which the experience and image of non-white people have always been compared.

I am finding it absolutely impossible to break through to the growing number of Trump supporters who are angry white people disgusted because what they see through the lens of their anger and life experience and current struggles are black and brown people whining and "making a fuss" about how hard they have it. They also are taking it personally, feeling they are being blamed as individuals (which, granted, is their problem and their misperception...although I contend that a majority of them DO harbor racist, bigoted supremacist views).

What if we could make some progress in finding common ground if we were to simply ACKNOWLEDGE?

What if there were more sharings, blogs, social media posts acknowledging the fear and anger -- in a specific way, listing their grievances about no loyalty in the workplace any more and their fear of keeping themselves and their families fed and housed -- with no "but" at the end.

In turn, maybe they would start to open their minds a bit to recognize that people of color aren't asking for them to personally apologize for the gross systemic oppression and injustice, but want ACKNOWLEDGMENT of the daily life-and-death struggle they experience and have for centuries, and need them to get out of the way if they aren't going to help the movement toward justice and equity.

I have no expertise in cultivating respectful dialogue, but surely according to some theories and practices, acknowledging the others' pain and grievances is how it begins, yes?

Believe me, I write and speak of racism and racist behavior and views A LOT. There is a whole lot of fear of "the other" fueling what we're seeing. I am not denying or diminishing that. It has been there all along, Trump merely ripped the scab off of the wound and the pus is running out now. Which is good, because that wound can't begin to heal without air.

But because we're seeing a lot of young people at Trump rallies, young people who have been molded by the older people we see at Trump rallies, we can't ignore them. They're not going away. People FINALLY are seeing that we're not remotely a post-racial society.

How do we reach them to begin the process of triggering some humanity and empathy? Railing against them is obviously not working; it's like they're friggin multiplying every second.

Thoughts?