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Katashi_itto

(10,175 posts) Wed Apr 6, 2016, 11:52 PM Apr 2016

High Elf, High on Acid, Attacks Woman's BMW With a Sword [View all]

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--1tiS39uF--/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/vxv5vqw2fdze2i40cpud.jpg
Portland, Ore. police responded to a 911 call at around 7 a.m. Tuesday morning from a woman who believed her car was under attack by a pirate. But instead of a routine pirate attack—oh, Portland—they discovered an armored man who claimed he was a High Elf.

He was at least half right. Although the man, dressed in chain mail and helmet, and equipped with sword, staff, and shield, wasn't actually an elf, he was definitely high.

Konrad Bass, 30, of Glendale, Ore., told officers he had taken LSD, and also identified himself as a "high-elf engaged in battle with the evil Morgoth." He was cited for criminal mischief and taken to a hospital.

Morgoth, the original dark lord and master of Sauron in J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings mythology, has at his command various Balrogs, rivers of fire, and, apparently, BMWs (the official car of the Dark Enemy and sponsor of the last battle).

The car survived the encounter, although police say it was left with several puncture marks.
http://gawker.com/high-elf-high-on-acid-attacks-womans-bmw-with-a-sword-1579493237

61 replies

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Highlight:

High Elf, High on Acid, Attacks Woman's BMW With a Sword [View all] Katashi_itto Apr 2016 OP

Verdict, don't take LSD. Rex Apr 2016 #1

Thanks for having made a key point Albertoo Apr 2016 #4

...... daleanime Apr 2016 #5

Exactly! And who wants that? Rex Apr 2016 #18

I hope you're not prejudiced against goblins and orcs? Albertoo Apr 2016 #20

Can't help it, every since I took an arrow to the knee at Helm's Deep Rex Apr 2016 #26

Let bygones be bygones Albertoo Apr 2016 #27

You know, I tried to be friendly to an orc years later. What did I get for it? Rex Apr 2016 #29

Sorry about Sparky. Yet, do try to become more trusting again. Albertoo Apr 2016 #33

True, maybe it was just a bad hair day. Rex Apr 2016 #36

I can prove to you you were wrong to be suspicious Albertoo Apr 2016 #37

See? You were too trusting and now you are second breakfast. Rex Apr 2016 #38

Can't throw water Albertoo Apr 2016 #39

Well you still have two perfectly good legs! Rex Apr 2016 #40

No way awoke_in_2003 Apr 2016 #47

But the saurons were wiped out by that meteor strike--that's how mammals finally got their chance tblue37 Apr 2016 #23

Because you think Saurons are gone for good? Albertoo Apr 2016 #24

They did leave behind the birds and the crocidilians, their lesser representatives, tblue37 Apr 2016 #25

Hoid it, you need to check your data nadinbrzezinski Apr 2016 #34

Kentucky fried t rex awoke_in_2003 Apr 2016 #48

That T-Rex evolved from goo. Taitertots Apr 2016 #54

He was preparing for Dagor Dagorath. Solly Mack Apr 2016 #2

Fucking LARPers Scootaloo Apr 2016 #3

Since the incident concluded with Konrad Bass still alive, I'm going to presume he's white. Gene Debs Apr 2016 #6

High Elf, Indeed. Warren DeMontague Apr 2016 #7

In all seriousness, I don't know what these guys are eating, but I suspect it's not actual LSD. Warren DeMontague Apr 2016 #8

I watched a Dateline NBC recently OnyxCollie Apr 2016 #9

i have to agree LiberalEsto Apr 2016 #15

He says he has mental issues csziggy Apr 2016 #42

Yeah, I would agree he has mental issues, & if those swords are live steel as I suspect they are.... Hekate Apr 2016 #46

Just your regular old Portland Monday Morning Morrison Bridge Commute Entmoot Warren DeMontague Apr 2016 #49

Treebeard is not amused Hekate Apr 2016 #55

Thanks. Folks with known mental health issues should probably not use LSD. Zorra Apr 2016 #57

I hope he can get the help he needs csziggy Apr 2016 #58

That's what I thought, too! n/t prayin4rain Apr 2016 #61

I've done more than my share of acid. It never made me want to hack at anything with a sword. hobbit709 Apr 2016 #10

Agree..! As a ranking iaidoka, i have never had the slightest urge Katashi_itto Apr 2016 #16

Morgoth would beat a high elf easily Motown_Johnny Apr 2016 #11

He failed his Save vs Acid roll. Codeine Apr 2016 #12

Sounds like a critical too. wickerwoman Apr 2016 #45

Only in Portland... Odin2005 Apr 2016 #13

some folks like an alternative life that is better than their own dembotoz Apr 2016 #14

The one true ring? Kentonio Apr 2016 #17

LOL +!11!! Glassunion Apr 2016 #22

BMW = Black Morgoth Wheels KamaAina Apr 2016 #19

Melkor Built My Hot Rod MisterP Apr 2016 #41

This guy is an asshole. Only T�rin can slay Morgoth according to the prophecies. Glassunion Apr 2016 #21

I thought high elves couldn't be Chaotic Evil. nt Bonobo Apr 2016 #28

He was fighing shape shifting Mordor nadinbrzezinski Apr 2016 #31

Very brave of him to take on Morgoth alone. That's a Sindar for you! nt Bonobo Apr 2016 #35

Not the best of photos nadinbrzezinski Apr 2016 #30

Yeah it would be odd csziggy Apr 2016 #43

Well, BMWs are evil .. kwassa Apr 2016 #32

Most Awesome Thread Ever!!! TomCADem Apr 2016 #44

:) Katashi_itto Apr 2016 #50

While certainly remarkable, this is two years old Android3.14 Apr 2016 #51

JRR Tolkein has a lot to answer for. Bad Dog Apr 2016 #52

This could just as easily been a guy drunk as hell. B Calm Apr 2016 #53

Morgoth's wife, "I was just driving home after a hard day at Minas Morgol. Katashi_itto Apr 2016 #56

Bass explained, "I wasn't in my right mind. I was still rocking my new pair of elf ears." Liberal_in_LA Apr 2016 #59

Too bad Tolkien never got around to writing his sequel to Lord of the Rings NobodyHere Apr 2016 #60