Some one made a point to tell me that i had not commented much about the Orlando shooting

[MotorCityMan]

32. What makes me so sick about the Orlando attack

is that it happened in a gay bar. Oh, I know there have been other shootings and tragedies in gay bars, but I don't believe on this scale.

When I came out at 18 in 1983, I thought the bars were the greatest thing in the world. Homosexuality wasn't talked about as openly then as now (not that today is all sunshine and flowers, but it was a much different climate then). In the movies (especially the teen, let's-all-get-laid movies), "faggot" and "queer" were the absolute worse insult you could use on someone. I went to a good friend's funeral who died of AIDS, and then had to go to work and hear coworkers making AIDS jokes (I did go to HR about that, I was SO angry about that). I stayed firmly in the closet at work and always, always was on guard to not say the wrong thing, not look at a guy to long, etc.., so worried to be found out.

After dealing with this all day every day, the bars were like a sanctuary. They were a place you could go and let all your guards down and be yourself. Better still, you had one major thing in common with almost everyone else in the bar, and they were dealing with all the same crap you were. There was always such a feeling of community and belonging there, it really made it so much easier to deal with the day to day bullshit.

Now it's like that sanctuary has been invaded and contaminated. I don't go to the bars very much anymore, but when I do there will be that thought in my mind now that someone could burst in firing. Nowadays, of course, there are allot more options to meet and connect with other gays. To some of us older gays (a few friends I discussed this with agreed), it feels like this took something away from us that was really special.